Have you ever thought?
by AriRae
Summary: Shy Jasper has fantasized over jock boy Edward Masen since he moved to this small town. When a friendship starts to blossom, can Jasper keep his feelings to himself? Will Edward recognize that Jasper has always been there for him? Slash. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been thinking about this fic for a long time. This is slash. Enjoy.**

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "Honey badger don't care!"

"Hey Dad…?"

He looks up from his meal, "Hmmm?"

I push some food around on my plate and clear my throat, "The West Coast Misfits are playing in the city on Saturday, can I go?"

"You're bringing Alice, I assume?" He reaches for his milk glass.

I nod.

He swallows, "Home by 11:00."

I slump in my seat, "12:30? The opening band doesn't even start until eight…"

His eyes narrow slightly, "12:00."

I smile, "Thanks."

He smiles and nods back. My dad has always been more lenient with me than most parents of kids my age. Being a single dad, I don't give him any trouble and I get good grades. But hell, it's a small town, there's really not much trouble to find.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "Morning Wood Lumber Company"

Alice picks me up and chats endlessly on the way to the city. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm the only one that can endure her bubbly personality for long periods of time and that must be why she hangs out with me. It helps that I don't mind when she drags me around to shops and malls. She's given up on trying to make me stylish and is now my number one supplier of catchphrase t-shirts. She makes me laugh and she respects my privacy, though she seems to always know what I'm thinking anyway. She's a good friend to me.

* * *

We're standing in the middle of a buzzing crowd. Both of us have stamps on the backs of our hands signaling we're underage. As the opening act sets up, the crowd draws closer to the stage, bumping and nudging into each other. I crane my neck, scanning the crowd around us. I stop at a familiar face lit by the stage lights. His face has a bluish tint as he speaks to someone close by. He's nodding and smiling as I swallow back the saliva pooling in my mouth. _He is so fuckin' beautiful._

"Is that Edward Masen?" Alice's voice jolts me.

I blink at her, "I think so."

She is trying to look around people to see him better. "Huh. Who would've thought he'd be here?"

"Yeah," I reply meekly. I glance at him again to see him throw back his head in laughter. I can't seem to stop staring at his smile and facial expressions. I memorize his movements like I've secretly done for years. He licks his lips and I release a small sigh.

"You're staring." Alice startles me again.

I look down at her quickly and scratch at the back of my neck. She's smiling at me knowingly. I've never had to tell Alice anything, she already knows.

When I peek up at him again, our eyes connect. He smiles and holds up a hand in a small wave. Confused, I look behind me and when I turn back around he's laughing at me. I smile back and offer a small salute in return.

Alice bumps me with her elbow as she stares at the stage. I bump her back and she giggles. The music starts.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "I was not aware the bird is the word."

The weekend passed quickly and uneventfully. I spent all of Sunday thinking of a green-eyed boy and the small connection we had made. I didn't allow myself to put too much into the small gesture he made toward me, if it was even to me. He knows a lot of people; he's a very popular guy.

Our senior class isn't very big, but I can only think of a handful of times that I've talked to Edward Masen. After moving here from Texas sophomore year, I've kept to myself and been left alone overall. Alice had seeked me out and demanded friendship and I was grateful. I'm not the outgoing type and she made it an effortless and comfortable companionship.

So to say I was startled when Edward leans beside my locker while I am gathering school books is an understatement.

"Hey Jasper," he smiles at me. I look at him, paused in action. "Did you dig the W.C.M. show on Saturday?"

I blink, he did recognize me at the concert. "Yeah," I nod. "Um, I wasn't really into the opening band, but…"

He nods, watching my fill my school bag. "Yeah, they sucked."

I let out a short laugh.

We grow quiet. He stands away from the lockers and I gaze into his face. "Well, maybe the next concert we can go together. I don't know too many people that even know of W.C.M…" He's look at me expectantly.

I nod, "Yeah, sure."

Alice appears at my side, opposite of Edward. They casually greet each other.

"You were there too, Alice? At the concert, right?

Alice nods, "Yeah, Jazz and I go whenever we can. I drive and he ensures I don't get trampled in a mosh pit."

I smile shyly and Edward claps me on the shoulder. "Well, next time we should all go together. It'd be awesome."

I nod and he walks backward heading to class. He waves goodbye and I watch his figure retreat down the hallway.

Alice bumps me with her elbow and I bump her back.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "More cowbell!"

He says hi to me in the hallways now. The jocks around him look confused as if they didn't know I existed. I even hear Emmett say, "Is he a new kid?" I always offer him a small smile and nod in acknowledgment.

Alice hasn't said anything about all this new attention from Edward and I'm grateful. I wouldn't know what to say. I can't deny that I like it, but I won't allow myself to become too wrapped up in the implications. It is impeccably obvious that Edward Masen is straight. In fact, he couldn't get much more heterosexual than dating the most attractive girl in town.

Rosalie Hale has her cheer squad uniform on as she sits close to him during lunch. Alice is talking out loud and I'm peering over her shoulder at the jock table. Edward is highly sociable. He laughs at his friends, they laugh back. Rosalie's hands circle his waist and brush through his hair as he casually entertains his friends.

I look away when Alice peers over her shoulder to see what I'm concentrating on.

Her eyebrow rises when she turns back to me, she smiles.

"You were saying?" I ask her to continue.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "Bacon makes everything better."

Alice is sick from school today. She usually picks me up, but I'm forced to walk today. I don't mind.

A car pulls up beside me and I suspiciously stop walking.

"Jazz! Need a ride?" It's Edward, peering at me through the passenger window.

I walk to the car and get in, buckling. The cab is warm and permeated with the smell of his cologne. I feel like I'm hugging him. It's incredibly alluring and I clear my head of lustful thoughts.

I cough nervously, "Don't you have to pick up Rose or something?" He accelerates toward the school and shakes his head.

"No man, she wouldn't be seen in my Volvo. She's got her daddy's fancy cars to drive."

I look out the window, quietly.

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" Edward startles me.

I look at him and he smiles. "I have practice til 6:00, but we could listen to some music later on if you're not busy."

I swallow. Edward wants to hang out with me. I nod, gazing out the windshield.

I want to be close to him. I want to accept his friendship. I also want to kiss and grind on him. I recognize that if we are going to be spending more time together, I have to be better at hiding my desires and blatant staring. It's hard to come to terms that the boy I have endlessly fantasized about wants to hang out, go to concerts, and drive me to school.

"If you're busy…" Edward interrupts my thoughts.

I turn to him, he looks unsure due to my lack of reassurance and inner thoughts.

"No! I'm mean yeah, I'd like to hang out. Umm… your place?"

He smiles, "Yeah, I'll give you a call when I'm done with practice." He hands me his cell phone, "Here, put your number in."

I try to push down the giddiness I feel in my stomach as I punch in my contact information. I call the number and feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I now have his number as well.

I hand him his phone back and he lifts his hips off the seat to push the cell into his pocket. I watch his groin lift and look away quickly. This might be tougher than I thought.

* * *

**:) Shy Jasper and Jock Edward. so cute! Much love, AR**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here we go chapter 2! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

From chapter one:

_T-shirt of the day: _"Bacon makes everything better."

_I try to push down the giddiness I feel in my stomach as I punch in my contact information. I call the number and feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I now have his number as well._

_I hand him his phone back and he lifts his hips off the seat to push the cell into his pocket. I watch his groin lift and look away quickly. This might be tougher than I thought._

* * *

"So do you walk to school everyday?" Edward asks casually as he pulls into the school parking lot. The lot is nearly empty. Because of the ride from Edward I've arrived early.

I shake my head, "No, Alice usually picks me up. But she's sick today."

"Oh, okay." Edward nods.

"Why?"

Edward parks and turns toward me. "I was going to offer to pick you up if you needed a ride."

I feel my heart speed up again and offer him a small smile. "Thanks… I appreciate that." I don't know how to say that I can't abandon Alice, so I don't say anything else.

He nods again and pulls the handle, stepping out of the car. I do the same and soon we're walking side-by-side to the front doors.

He lightly hits me on the arm, "I'll text you later." I nod and he smiles.

"See ya Jazz," he heads to his locker.

I'm momentarily shocked at the nickname. "Uh… bye Edward."

* * *

I'm at the usual lunch table, but without Alice there's nothing blocking me from view of the rest of the cafeteria. It doesn't really matter though, I eat and concentrate on the book in front of me. When I sip off my chocolate milk carton, I notice a pair of green eyes gazing my way and I freeze. _How long has he been looking at me? Oh god, please tell me I didn't do anything embarrassing._

I look behind me and when I turn back around, he's laughing at me again. Rose notices his distraction and follows his line of sight. Her gaze at me seems far less friendly than Edward's. I feel my face flush and salute shyly in his direction.

I try to concentrate on my book again, but I feel him watching me still. I bury my hands in my hair and shield my eyes from the tables around me to force myself to focus.

I've finally distracted myself when a hand rests on the table in front of me.

My head jerks up to see Edward smiling down at me. "Sorry you had to eat lunch alone today…"

I am surprised by his concern and shake my head, "Oh, it's not a big deal. I don't always make good company anyway."

Edward shakes his head at my self-deprecation. "I should have sat with you," he states simply.

He surprises me again and I don't know what to say.

He smiles down at me, "I'll sit with you tomorrow?"

The bell rings and students gather there belongings. _How is this going to work? _I shrug_, _"Okay."

"I'll see you tonight Jazz." Edward walks back to his table and Rose glares at me. _Okay…._

* * *

I receive Edward's text telling me his address and he requests that I come to the back door. I finish my homework quickly after school which is unfortunate because now I have a lot of time to sit around before heading to Edward's.

I eat a fast dinner with my dad and tell him I'm off to a friend's house. He's surprised to find that it's not Alice and waves goodbye.

I bite my lip as I knock on the door.

He's smiling and ushering me in through the kitchen and upstairs. He is freshly showered from practice and the scent of his body wash is overwhelming.

Before I know it, I'm in his room and he's shut the door. I look at my surroundings as he's crouched over his cd player. His boxers peek over the edge of his jeans and a sliver of skin shows as his shirt rides up a little. I force myself to look away. He's pressing buttons and I'm standing awkwardly by the door.

He swings around to me, "You like the Ramones?"

I scratch at my neck and nod, "Yeah, sometimes."

He laughs, "How about right now?"

I laugh back, "Sure, I haven't listened to them in a while."

He clears some of his things off a couch for me to sit on. When he leaves to grab us sodas, I glance around the room. The walls are lined with band posters. His football practice bag is by the door, textbooks pile on his desk. It smells of faintly of sweat and cologne. It's 100% teenage boy. It makes my mouth dry and leaves an ache in my groin.

_What am I doing here? _I feel my palms sweat.

When he returns, he chats aimlessly. He asks questions. More than anyone has asked me.

"So, it's just you and your dad?" Edward is on the floor, his back against his bed.

I nod, "Yeah, my mom died when I was little. I don't really remember her."

He gives me a sad smile, "Sorry."

I nod again.

"So, what's up with you and Alice?"

I'm taken aback by the question and look at him impassively. "What do you mean?"

He laughs a little, "Are you banging her or what?"

I feel myself bristle at his flippant question. I can't hide the shock and disgust on my face. He must see it because his expression transforms to panic.

I start to stand, "No, I'm not _banging _Alice. She's a very good friend of mine." _Is that why I'm here? Is he trying to get to Alice? _I feel my anger boiling and sadness in the pit of my stomach.

He scrambles to his feet, his hand reaching out to me. "Hey! I'm sorry Jasper. That was…stupid." He shakes his head at himself, "I've been hanging out with too many jocks. Please sit."

He looks into my face, "I'm sorry."

I believe him and I slowly sit down again. I release a breath and he watches me as he resumes his previous position.

He's about to say something when the phone in his pocket rings.

He looks at the screen, frowns, and gazes back at me. "I'm gonna take this real quick. It's Rose."

I nod and lean back against the couch.

He answers, but doesn't leave the room.

There are a few moments of silence on his part before he clarifies, "I'm hanging out with Jasper."

He rubs at his forehead and is quiet again. I can hear a raised voice coming across the line. She won't allow him to speak.

He looks up at me in boredom and I offer a small smile in sympathy.

"Well, Rose. Why don't you put some bacon on it?"

He laughs as I gaze at him confused. "Well, bacon makes everything better." He points at my shirt and I slap my forehead as I laugh silently at the bad joke. Her voice rises across the phone line. I guess she didn't find that very funny.

That was the day Rosalie Hale began to really hate me.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "I do all my own stunts."

Alice returns to school the next day. I'm almost sad I can't get a ride with Edward, but grateful to have her back and return to some sort of normalcy.

Everything is upside down. The most popular and most attractive boy in school wants to spend time with me and I'm completely out of my element.

At lunch, I expect Edward to sit with his friends now that Alice is back at school, but I'm mistaken. He sits with us.

In fact, Edward starts to sit with me and Alice fairly often. When he does, Rose glumly joins as well. She's quiet for the most part, but seems to get along with Alice alright. They have fashion in common and talk about stuff I will never understand. She hates being near me, but won't be left out.

When I ask Alice about it, she concedes that she has noticed Rose's silent hostility toward me.

"Jasper, Edward wants to hang out with you. Girls in high school want to be the center of their boyfriend's world. She's insanely jealous."

I realize then I have no idea what women think about and also recognize I might never know.

Soon, we find that most of Edward's crew is joining the table as well.

"Hey, new kid!" Emmett slaps me on the back hard. I'm pushed forward against the table.

"Emmett," Edward scolds, "He's not new, for Christ's sake."

I don't really mind it. It could always be worse. He could try to kick my ass. But instead, the table has grown to an incredible size and Alice and I find ourselves sitting amongst the most popular kids in school. She loves it. I haven't made up my mind yet.

Edward invites me over to his house often and I always say yes. So often, my dad begins to ask questions.

I clear my throat one night while we are listening to Flogging Molly in Edward's room. "Hey Edward, my dad… was wondering if… you wanted to come over for dinner… some night?"

I feel awkward asking and he looks at me confused by my uncomfortable behavior.

He shrugs, "Sure."

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Jesus hates the Yankees

Here we are, the three of us eating Mac 'n cheese. I should have remembered that my dad can only cook three meals.

"So Edward," my dad wipes his mouth with his napkin. "You're on the football team?"

I feel a blush crawling up my neck as I push a noodle around.

Edward nods, "Yes sir. I'm a wide receiver."

My dad looks impressed and I'm not sure why. I don't know much about football honestly.

I push us through the meal as quickly as possible to save some of my dignity and bring Edward up to my room away from my father.

It's smaller and cleaner than his room. I have a lot of artwork and some similar band posters. I play music off my computer at my desk while he lies across my bed.

"Would you ever come to one of my games?" He lifts his head off the bedspread.

I've never been to a high school football game before. But I know before I even answer that I will. I will go anywhere Edward wants me to go.

"You want me to go to one of your games?" I clarify.

He nods, his body position tense as he cranes his head to look at me. I can see the definition of his muscles beneath his shirt. _Can I resist seeing Edward in tight football pants? No, the answer is no. _

"Yeah, that'd be cool," I reply casually.

He sits up quickly, "Awesome. I have a game on Friday. You should bring Alice."

"Are you going to play football after graduation?" I ask, changing the subject. I blink away the mental image of Edward tight ass in skin-tight spandex.

I see him slump and sigh. He frowns at me, "I don't really want to… but my parents are hoping I can get a scholarship."

I smile at him, confused, "Yeah, free school money is such a bummer."

He laughs a little, but shakes his head. He stares at one of my posters for some time before continuing. "I don't want to play football after high school." He looks at me downhearted. "I don't want to go to the school my dad went to." He scratches his scalp, " I… I don't know. I feel like things are out of my hands right now." He flops back onto my bed.

I'm surprised at his confession. It seems very personal. I never knew he was struggling with these issues. He hides them well.

We've only known each other a short time, but I am constantly impressed by Edward's honesty. He is genuine. He is a pure soul.

"Rose doesn't even get it. I've tried to talk to her. She wants to go to the same college and wants me to keep playing football. She just wants high school all over again."

I feel his depression from across the room.

"You have to say something," I respond quietly.

He groans and covers his face with his hands. "I know," he muffles into his palms.

When his hands lower back down, he smiles sadly at me. "Thanks for listening."

I smile back, "Anytime."

* * *

**Hope you had a wonderful holiday! Much love, AR**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there! I'm glad you're enjoying the t-shirt of the day. I think they speak for Jasper's quiet, humourous side. This is a slow burn kinda story, I'm laying down the foundation. Thanks for reading and I hope it's all worth the wait.**

* * *

T-shirt of the Day: Zombies just want a hug

Ever since I off-handedly told Edward that I run three miles every other night, he's been joining along. The fall days are shortening as we run together at dusk.

I still struggle quietly, unaccustomed to having a running partner. He's holding back, I can tell. His years of athletics have made his body strong and toned, more so than my own. I've never had a reason to run faster, work my body harder. I'm lean as it is. But when I'm around Edward I want to challenge myself, I want to be as good as he is. I want to be good enough for him. I'm grateful he never tells me I'm not and he never mocks my slower pace.

I'm becoming more adapted to his presence. He doesn't throw me off guard as much as he used to. I've made it a point to open up and share with him. I want him to know me the way he lets me into his life.

He's already one of my best friends. Alice smiles at me knowingly all damn day. I haven't uttered a word to her about him, but she knows. She always knows. She's been generous and understanding when it comes to the amount of time Edward and I are spending together. I find myself telling him yes anytime he asks to do something. I feel guilty when I think of how I need to make time for Alice, but she just smiles at me. I will make time for her.

We jog along peacefully. I peer at him and see sweat bead on his forehead. He pushes it back into his hair. He's flush and gorgeous, panting beside me, though I'm sure the run is below his coach's standards.

I've been thinking a lot about the college stresses he's been feeling since we spoke in my bedroom.

I clear my throat, "So… you never told me. What **do** you want to study then…? Or are you thinkin' you don't want to go college?"

He smiles as he glances at me, "I do. Yeah, I really do. I just… want to move on. I'm so ready to be done with high school."

I nod, our feet slapping on the pavement in time.

He swallows hard, "Music." He glances at me again and I look at him questioningly. "I want to write it, play it, teach it, conduct it. Anything!"

I smile at him and throw my head back laughing. I can't even comprehend the number of times the statement, "Ah, I love THIS song!" has come out of Edward's mouth. It is his life. He makes it part of everyday.

I peer over at him happily, but he's tense. Oh, shit. "Hey," I hit him on the arm to get his attention.

He shakes his head, "No, it's ok. I know it's stupid."

"Ok, stop." I grab his arm and his chest his lightly heaving as he stands in front of me. His hands rest on his hips and he waits, not looking me in the eye.

"That's not why I was laughing Edward. I laughed because it makes perfect sense." I gestured wide with my arms. "I've never known anyone as passionate about … any kind of music as you are!" I point to myself, "You've taught me a crap-load about stuff I've never heard! I think it's awesome you want to study music." He is shyly smiling at me, looking at beneath his eyelashes. "Like really awesome." He quietly laughs at me.

"You're gonna be great at it E. I mean it." I slap at his shoulder.

He rolls his eyes and reaches out grabbing my t-shirt. I'm pulled hard against his chest as he whispers huskily in my ear, "Thanks Jazz."

I nod as he pulls away. "I'm sorry," he shakes his head. "I'm just feeling a little sensitive about the whole thing. I'm anticipating what my parents will say."

We start to jog again. "Your parents love you Edward. It'll be ok, you'll see."

We're quiet for a while before he glances at me, "Did you call me 'E'?"

I shrug, "If I get Jazz, you get E."

He laughs, "Alright then."

* * *

T-shirt of the day: "Hi, I don't care, Thanks."

I find myself dressed in layers on the cold bleachers with my winter hat and gloves surrounded by my classmates and parents and small children chasing each other. It's Friday evening, the sun has set and the glare of white lights illuminates the stadium. It's loud as a barely audible announcer introduces the teams. Alice bumps me in the ribs and points to the field.

"There he is."

I sit up straight. Number 21 is jogging on the field.

Alice grabs my arm and leans in close to my ear. "Those pants are pretty stellar." She makes a growl.

A blush warms my face and I'm smiling tightly as she laughs at me.

I bump her with my elbow.

Its a few minutes into the game before I notice Rose is at the head of the cheerleading squad in front of the crowd.

She's all smiles with her bouncy ponytail entwined with ribbons. There are pom-poms and high kicks and I can't help the small snort from escaping me.

Alice is teaching me about football like my dad has tried many times. Luckily for her, I'm more interested now than I have ever been before.

"So, Edward is a wide receiver," Alice explains to me quietly, I nod watching the field.

"His position is all about speed and agility. He's meant to catch passes from the quarterback. But, he can also block defensive backs in support of the team. Mostly, he has to fill in when they need someone fast whether it's to stop an interception run or what not."

I stare at her in disbelief. "Where did you learn all this?"

She shrugs and smiles.

Despite it all, the game is enthralling. I find myself standing and clapping and joining in crowd cheer chants. There's this unexplainable feeling in my stomach. I know that boy! He and I talk, we run together, he's my friend.

Edward looks powerful and fast and focused. The incredible athlete here has never bragged about his astronomical accumulation of receiving yards Alice is telling me about. It is obvious Edward must be a good at what he does because the crowd is yelling to him in encouragement. His teammates clap him on the back and smack their helmets into his with enthusiasm.

"That a boy Edward!" One man stands and claps.

Huh. Cool.

Edward proceeds to help gain our football team an incredible amount of yardage and complete two touchdowns passed downfield. The crowd cheers as the team rushes the field after winning to shake hands with their opponents.

"You can always count on Edward for at least two touchdowns," A man behind me speaks with a fellow parent.

I'm standing and clap with Alice as Edward jogs back to the sidelines with his teammates. He removes his helmet, scans the crowd, and waves to me, smiling. He's flush, sweaty, and gorgeous again.

I feel my heart in my throat as I salute back.

I think I just fell in love with Edward Masen.

* * *

"Ohhhh… she did not like that," Alice whispers to me, grimacing.

My eyes scan to Rose, her mouth set in a hard line and her eyes narrowed at me.

I sigh, "What else is new?" I resign to Alice.

The team makes their way to the locker rooms to change and I decide that I will wait for Edward to make his appearance while trying to avoid Rose at the same time.

Alice says goodbye with a kiss to my cheek and I thank her for her expert sportscaster commentary. It felt good to have time with her alone. I really do love her. She will always be the first person to reach out to me and accept me fully.

I wait far back from the proud parents congratulating their football players with my hands in my pockets.

Edward makes his way from the locker room toward the small crowd and is quickly joined by his parents, Rose, and his coach. A man in a dress shirt, tie, and slacks is shaking his hand. He looks stunned as the man in a college school pullover talks to the group. He's a college football scout. And he just watched Edward rock the game.

The group is very animated, excited and the man is shaking the hands of Edward's parents. Edward peers over the shoulder of the man and sees me waiting by the bleachers. He blinks at me, worried.

I offer him a tight smile and pound my fist to my heart in solidarity. I know he's panicking inside. He nods a lot, looking speechless until the group breaks apart and he's left with Rose clinging to his arm.

* * *

"I'm proud of you," she whispers sultry into his ear as he's driving.

He turns to her tensely, "Yeah, you said that."

She smiles, "Well, I am."

He pats her leg with a small smile, "Thanks babe."

She peers over her shoulder at me annoyed as I watch from the backseat. She grabs his hand and pulls it higher into her lap. "Are we dropping off _Jazzy_ first?"

_Jazzy? Ech._

He shakes his head, "I've gotta get home. I'll drop you first and take Jazz home after."

She huffs and turns out the window.

After she's out of the car with a long, disgusting kiss, he gazes at me in the rearview mirror. "Wanna sit in front?"

I nod and climb between the seats. He begins the short drive to my house.

"That guy was a football scout, right?" I ask quietly.

Edward sighs, "Yeah. He said he's going to talk to the sports director at WSU and will be sending something my way, I guess."

I watch Edward drive, worry lines crease his brow and his jaw is set hard.

"But there's no obligation. You haven't signed anything."

He nods, "Right."

"So, we still have time."

He nods again and smiles at me. "We still have time."

We're quiet until he pulls up to my house. I turn to him, "I have an idea of how to help you tell your parents."

His eyebrows raise, his face lightens.

"We can do some research tomorrow since you have to get home?" I ask.

He shuts down the car, "I got time right now." I raise my own eyebrow, that's not what he told Rose.

He rubs the back of his neck, clarifying, "Rose was really excited about the scout thing and she's really putting on the pressure. I just needed to get away."

I nod.

"And she always wants to make it after games, but I'm not really feeling it. Stress, you know."

I'm momentarily stunned and simultaneously disgusted. We never talk about sexual topics and well, I've never really talked to anyone about that stuff. I feel my face blush in the dark car.

I clear my throat, "Right." I have no idea. I'm as virginal as they come. And the idea of Edward and Rose together makes me feel sick.

He laughs at me and opens his door. "I'm ready for my therapy session Dr. Whitlock. How can you help me tell my parents that I would like to obtain a joke degree in music because it's my life's dream?"

I laugh, smiling at him and get out of the car, "Please step into my office."

* * *

**I update regularily! Thanks for reading! Much love, AR**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there! Thank you for the reviews to the last chapter. Some of them made me laugh! You guys are the best!**

**I'm sorry that the story is not containing any sex or slash scenes yet. I'm a fan as well, but I need to work within the storyline and I value realism in my fics. It wouldn't feel right for them to rush into anything. BUT it is moving along nicely. Enjoy!**

* * *

_From chapter three:_

_He laughs at me and opens his door. "I'm ready for my therapy session Dr. Whitlock. How can you help me tell my parents that I would like to obtain a joke degree in music because it's my life's dream?"_

_I laugh, smiling at him and get out of the car, "Please step into my office."_

* * *

Edward flops down on my bed, staring at the ceiling as I scan through some music choices on my computer.

"Why does she hate you so much?"

_He's talking about Rose?_ I peer over at him, slightly annoyed. "You tell me, she's your girlfriend."

I click on "Band of Horses" on my iTunes and turn back to him.

"She's kinda clingy. I think she's mad you and I hang out so much."

I nod slightly. Is this the part where he drops me like a bag of bricks to spend every waking moment with Rose?

He's grimaces, "She should probably be with Emmett."

I freeze at his unexpected comment.

"He's always telling me how hot he thinks she is, in the locker room and stuff. It's annoying as shit… plus I think he wants to play college football."

I blink at him, "Are you… going to break up with her then?"

He shrugs, resting his head on my bed while he talks to me. "I dunno. I mean…I've never imagined us like, together... forever."

Huh.

"I don't think she thinks that way about me either. I think she likes me for what I might represent or what she wants me to be. I've never felt like…a real connection I guess."

I nod, happy to hear all the things I've seen for a while now.

He laughs suddenly, "I mean… I have a more real connection with _you _than Rose."

I laugh back quietly, and my heart feels light in my chest at his words. _That's because you belong with me._

Woah there.

He's quiet for a while, lost in his thoughts. "So you're going to sell her off to Emmett then?" I ask cheekily.

He laughs, "Shut up. I'm just saying… they make more sense."

I turn back to my computer. "Well, you want to work on this idea I have or should I start an auction bid to put Rose up on eBay?" _I'll get rid of her for you._

He laughs again and throws my pillow at me. "God, no wonder she hates you."

I laugh. _Oh, he has no idea._

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Don't be trashy, Recycle.

The next day he's back in my room. I click on Modest Mouse on my iTunes. I'm typing, he's talking.

"So, the biggest concern for your parents is the money?" I ask.

"Yeah, but even more, I think they want me to do something successful too. Like stereotypical successful."

I look over my shoulder, "You mean like a lawyer or doctor?"

He nods unhappily.

He and I spend the afternoon looking up scholarships that he qualifies for. Last week, I stopped by the college counselor's office at school and even found some local college grants.

"There's financial aid and low-interest loans too." He's nodding. "This music scholarship here would pay for almost two years of your degree."

"Wow, this is awesome."

He's pulled up another chair and we're sitting close together at my computer. His cologne wafts toward me, his arm occasionally brushing mine. My heart is beating wildly as I calmly address him.

I clear my throat and my head, "I think you should prep as if you're giving a presentation to your parents. Address all the things you think they will have a problem with. If you put the time and research into it, they'll know you're serious about it."

He's nodding, biting his lip. His leg is jiggling. "This might work," he smiles at me. In my room like this, his eyes are so deep and I work to stop staring.

I let out a sigh, "Here's a list of the professors you would work with and all the awards they've won. You can show them that being a musician can be a different kind of successful."

He's staring at the website. I continue, "We can start on creating you an awesome application to get into the music department. It needs to be original and passionate."

"This might work," he repeats, smiling at me again.

"It's going to work," I reply confidently. I promise.

* * *

I get a call from Alice on Sunday night. Her car broke down. Her dad will be dropping her off, but I'm on my own.

I instantly think of Edward and call him. I laugh at how pumped he is to be my new ride to school in the mornings.

Every morning, right on time, his car is sputtering on the street in front of my house. It's warm inside and filled with his luscious scent. I'm wrapped in an Edward blanket.

It's not a long ride, but it's one of my favorite parts of the day.

"Why don't you have your license?" He asks one morning.

"I don't have a job so I don't have money to buy a car and my dad can't afford it with either. Or the additional insurance."

Edwards nods, "That's cool. I guess that makes me the lucky one."

I shrug, looking out the window, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, I mean, it would be nice to have a car…"

He shakes his head, "No I mean, I'm lucky 'cause I get to pick you up now."

I peer at him, "Lucky you get to cart my ass around everywhere?"

He nods, happily. "Duh."

_God, I love him._

* * *

Alice reveals to me that Edward's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. She found out when Rose started asking for Alice's opinion on gift ideas for him.

"What are you going to get him?" She whispers to me in class.

I shrug, "I don't have any money."

Alice looks over at Rose who is chipping nail polish from her fingernails. "Well, I'm pretty sure little miss hot pants is buying him a $300 watch and then having a sleepover if you know what I mean."

I grimace and swallow the feeling of bile rising from my stomach. I slump into my seat and run a hand through my hair. _$300? Jesus._

Alice touches my arm, and continues to whisper to me, "Hey, make it personal. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter the cost. Just make it personal. You know him better than anyone."

I blink at her words. I nod and offer a small smile. She's right. I do know him better than anyone.

* * *

So…Rose found out quick that Edward was giving me rides to school. Then she quickly found a way to ruin it by asking him to pick her up as well. My most treasured time of the day was quickly becoming the most unbearable.

Not to mention, I was demoted to the backseat.

"Hey man!" Edward greeted me happily as I slid into the car.

"Hey," I offered back quietly. I didn't acknowledge Rose, she never acknowledged me.

"Whattya got today?" Edward looks at me in the rearview window.

I smile and open my jacket.

T-shirt of the day: Never forget (underneath a picture of a dinosaur)

He looks over his shoulder quickly, looks at my shirt, and laughs. I smile at seeing him amused until Rose rolls her eyes at me and turns forward in her seat.

"What is the deal with those stupid shirts?" It's probably the first, openly mean thing she has said to me and I feel my anger boil. There really is no reason I have to put up with her bullshit. I've never done a thing to her.

I see Edward open his mouth in my defense, but I interrupt before he can say anything.

"Well, this shirt," I open my jacket. "_Rosie_ is an example of satirical humor in which the phrase 'never forget', a term commonly used for catastrophic or tragic events, is parodied with the extinction of the dinosaurs. That in turn stimulates, in most logical and intellectual cases, the brain and sense of humor in the common man. So for all intended purposes, it is meant to be amusing."

It's quiet in the car and I can see Edward smiling lightly as he drives. I hear Rose release with a sigh, "Freak."

"That's enough Rose," Edward warns shortly and sternly.

My eyes move from Edward to Rose quickly. I see her jaw drop in shock at his response, his jaw clench in anger and I decided it best to introvert back into myself in my seat. The car stays silent for the remainder of the trip.

* * *

I talk to my dad about the money issue. He tells me that his employer needs someone to come in and clean on Sundays. I'll get $40 for a couple hours of work.

I don't have much time to accumulate the money and I really can't compete with a $300 watch, but I have to get him something that shows I'm a good friend. He's one of the best things that's ever happened to me and if I can show him even just a small token of my appreciation, I will.

I find it. It's perfect and it costs almost exactly what I've made cleaning so far. Well, more like exactly. I won't be able to get him anything else, but this is perfect.

His birthday approaches quickly it seems and I find myself at lunch sitting across from Edward as Rose hands him his present.

He smiles at her, "You didn't have to get me anything."

She smiles, "Of course I did. Open it!"

He does and the surprised look on his face makes me feel like an idiot. He really likes it.

"Wow, Rose. Geez, this is really nice." He puts the watch on and she points out things on it. It is really nice. It's black and sleek and stylish. I swallow back my disappointment at seeing it.

I'm not giving him my measly gift, I decide at once. He thinks I have no money anyways.

"Jazz, what is this?" Alice picks out my gift for Edward from my open backpack. I feel panic in my throat as she starts handing it to Edward. "Is this a present for Edward?"

_Fuck, how does she do that?_

Edward and Rose look up at me. I scratch at my neck and clear my throat. I nod and weakly reply, "Yeah."

Edward smiles at me, "You got me something too?" He's really surprised, at least for now.

I nod again, "Happy birthday."

Rose looks at the gift and back at me and smiles evilly. She knows it can't be much.

It's wrapped in a t-shirt. One of my t-shirts. He starts to untie it before he looks up at me. "This isn't THE t-shirt is it?" I shrug at him, smiling shyly.

"It is!" He holds it up.

My old t-shirt, now Edward's because it's his favorite: Club sandwiches, not seals.

He laughs, clenching it in his fists and I can't stop smiling at him. "You're giving this to me?!"

"No, you can only borrow it. No, of course it's yours. You love it so much."

"Awesome!" He picks up the cd from the table that was concealed inside and freezes.

"Where did you get this?" He whispers, his eyes boring into me, slightly confused.

"I found it on a site. It's one of their European-released albums, it never made over here. So… you know, it might be crap, but I know you didn't have it." I'm rambling a bit.

"Who is it?" Rose snatches it from Edward's hand.

He snatches it back, slightly exasperated, "It's my favorite band, like I've told you a million times."

She huffs as he examines the cover. He's gaping at it when he looks up at me. "I can't believe you found this."

I shrug and smile shyly. I won't rub it in too much that he's practically forgotten about the watch.

He looks at me so genuinely, my heart stops. "Thank you."

I nod again, my throat tight.

Rose puts her arm on his back, "Well, of course baby. We just want you to have a great birthday!" He smiles at her and she kisses him. "And that's not all," she insinuates in a loud whisper. _Ugh._

I grimace and Alice elbows me. I turn to her and she whispers, "Perfect choice."

I smile at her and she winks.

* * *

Immediately Edward's got the disc in his car player as we drive to my house after school. He's slapping his steering wheel and jamming to the music and… I think he's overdoing it. It really is horse shit. The album sucks. I laugh at him and he smiles at me, turning the music down.

"What?"

I shake my head, "Nothing. I'm glad you like it so much."

He laughs back at me, "I admit, it's not their best. But I still love it."

"Good," I nod in return.

"So…" I start uncomfortably. "You're staying at Rose's house tonight?"

He sighs and roll his eyes, "Does everyone know that? Jesus Christ."

I'm surprised, he seems slightly angry. "I heard it from Alice…"

He nods, "Yeah, it seems like Rose has been telling a lot of people about it. I've been getting ragged on by the other guys."

"So… how's that going to work? Her parents…"

"Her parents are out of town," he explains. "And my parents think… I'm staying over at your…house. " He frowns at me.

I blink at him, "Were you going to tell me that?" I clench my jaw. Fucking great, I'm the scapegoat so he can bang his girlfriend all night.

"I was Jazz. I promise I was. I just didn't know how to bring it up." He sounds sad. I can't look at him right now, so I nod and stare out the window.

I can't fake that I'm not pissed by this, even for his birthday.

He pulls up to my house and I'm out of the car quickly. "Thanks for the ride," I say into the car, looking at the ground. "Have fun tonight, don't worry, I'll cover for you."

I close the door before he can answer and get into the house.

* * *

I watch his car drive away from the living room window and let out a sigh. Pining after someone that isn't yours and may never be is exhausting. I spend the night in my room doing homework, listening to music, and trying to distract myself from thinking about the two of them.

I clench my hair in my fists_. Would you rather he wasn't in your life at all?_ No, no, no. Yes, I love him and I'm driving myself crazy. But maybe that's just until I find someone else. I dunno. All I know for sure is that I will deal with all this emo crap if it means that Edward is still my friend.

It's getting late when I hear tapping at my window.

I look out and see Edward in my yard, illuminated by the moon. I open the window, the chilly air rushing into my room. He's smiling up at me and waves, "Hey, can we have a birthday sleepover slumber party? I brought my diary. We can talk about cute boys," he jokes.

_How ironic._ I laugh and nod, "I'll let you in."

* * *

**Much love, AR**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful reviews and some good suggestions. You will read that I did use one of those brilliant suggestions and I hope you enjoy. ;)**

**I feel guilty not answering reviews, but I don't have a lot of spare time. I've been struggling to find time to write my chapters, let alone respond to the reviews. But I love them! **

**Even with the lack of time, I promise to finish the story. I do not want to give you the wrong impression!**

**Anyways! Enjoy please!**

* * *

_From Chapter four:_

_I look out and see Edward in my yard, illuminated by the moon. I open the window, the chilly air rushing into my room. He's smiling up at me and waves, "Hey, can we have a birthday sleepover slumber party? I brought my diary," he jokes._

_I laugh and nod, "I'll let you in."_

* * *

He's smiling at me through the kitchen door window when I open it to invite him in.

His cheeks are flush and his hair is crazy. He brushes a hand through it, though it makes no difference.

"Hey," he greets me, adjusting his backpack strap.

"Hey," I shyly reply. I'm supposed to be mad at him, but he's here. How can I be mad now?

"Edward!" My dad surprises us both, walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, Mr. Whitlock," he casually waves.

My dad looks at us confused, "What are you doing here?"

Edward rubs at the back of his neck, "Uh, well I was wonder-"

I interrupt and look at my father, "Its Edward's birthday. Can he sleepover?"

My dad smiles and shrugs, "Sure. Your parents know?"

Edward nods, "Yes sir, they do."

"Okay, I'll be heading to bed soon, so you boys behave."

_Ugh, really dad?_ "Thanks," I smile tightly.

* * *

He's dropping off his bag in my room. He hasn't said much and I'm still waiting for him to start the conversation.

As routine, he plops on my bed as a sit and stare at him, waiting. I play Blue October quietly on my iTunes. His t-shirt is riding up a little from the top of his jeans as he lays back. A sliver of skin and dusting of hair reveal itself as he buries his hands in his hair.

I tear my eyes away and clear my throat, "So…. Is Rose gonna have my balls because you stayed here tonight?"

He rubs over his face and lets out a small frustrated groan as he sits up. With his chin in his hand, he looks me in the eye. "I broke up with Rose."

I can't stop the surprised gawk from coming across my face. "Woah."

He closes his eyes and grimaces, releasing a long sigh. "Yeah, it didn't go well."

I bite my lip and scratch at my neck, "No, I suppose not."

He rubs his hands over his face and I hear him swallow hard.

My eyes flick to him, he won't look at me, but there are tears in his eyes.

"Hey," I murmur quietly and move to sit beside him.

He gives me a half-hearted, embarrassed smile. I don't know if I should touch him. I don't know if I'll be able to rein myself back in once I feel the warmth of his skin underneath my hand. I do anyway, I rub circles on his back and he nods.

"It was pretty bad," he sniffles. "She was crying and yelling. She accused me of cheating on her!" He looks at me in disbelief and I frown.

"Did she say… with who?"

He shakes his head, "No. Doesn't fuckin' matter, I didn't. I can't believe she would… She was really upset." He squeezes his eyes shut and wipes the moisture from his face.

He laughs a little, "She was more worried about what people would say knowing that I broke up with her on the night of the sleepover. Like I'm some swallow asshole that would dump her after we fucked." He shakes his head, clenching his hands.

I don't know what to say and I don't think there's anything appropriate right now, so I remain silent. My body sways slightly as I continue rubbing his back, my leg bent lies against his hip. I want to lay my head on his shoulder, comfort him, but I resist the urge.

He wipes at his nose, "She really didn't know me at all." He looks me in the face, "I know it had to be done… I just feel crappy about it."

His eyes are red-rimmed, his lips pink, slightly chapped and his breath is washing over me. He's embarrassed, flush. _God, I want to kiss him._

I nod, "You don't have to explain yourself to me."

His half smiles at me, "Thanks Jazz."

* * *

I've been working on distractions to keep the breakup off his mind. We talked about his college application he's working on, we played some hilarious youtube videos, and now it's movie time.

We're setup in the living room, popcorn is being shoveled into our mouths as we lay out on the floor. We're surrounded in pillows and blankets.

The light of the television is illuminating the room.

"Jazz?" Edward chews on his popcorn.

"Hmmm?" I stare at Wolverine. _My god, Hugh Jackman._

"Where'd you get the money for my birthday present?"

I pause, turn to him, he blinks at me.

I shrug and he rolls his eyes. He waits and laughs, "What are you in the mob?" He jokes.

I laugh and shake my head, "I had a job for a little while."

"With the mob?" His joking continues.

I laugh again, "Shut up. I was doing a little cleaning for my dad's work."

I feel my face flush, but it's fairly dark in the room.

He's smiling at me, genuine, "You're the best."

I roll my eyes and talk into my popcorn bowl, "Because I got you a shitty album and a used t-shirt?"

He nods, "Yeah, pretty much."

* * *

He's softly breathing beside me. His face lit by the moon filtering in through the window above us. It's late and I'm… well, I've been staring at him for a while.

His muscular arms are wrapped around a pillow, his blanket falling down past his hips.

My body heats as my desire stirs and I sigh softly. I've imagined him this close every time I've brought myself to climax. It's surreal, dream-like being able to smell him, see him and if I dared, touch him.

His lips parted as he sleeps. They look soft and full, I run my tongue over lips desperate for a taste.

His t-shirt pulled tight across his back shows his tone core, rising and falling slowly as he breathes.

I thank the gods for the fallen blanket as my eyes skim over his tight ass in his boxer briefs. The ass I have ogled and drooled over at any hidden chance.

When I'm under the ass-enduced trance, Alice loves to recite to me:

_"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Jasper._

_It is a dimension vast in deliciousness and as timeless as male hormones. It is the middle ground between a boy's back and his legs, between human physiology and sexual desire. This is the dimension of holy butt godliness. It is an area which we call Edward's Ass Twilight Zone."_

I'm startled to realize as I've been staring at him, my hand began to lazily stroke my erection. He's still as peacefully asleep as he was before.

_Should I stop? Can I stop?_

I squeeze my hand a little harder and emit a silent groan.

I scan over his body as my hand pulls with stronger strokes beneath my blanket. I stop at his ass again, my hips moving gently into my fist.

I picture myself behind him, his briefs pulled down his thighs so I can gaze upon the muscular flesh he hides beneath layers of clothing. I can practically feel the strength and power in his glutes as I knead them in my hands.

My cock swells as I tug on my balls lightly.

In my mind, his head lifts and he smiles at me over his shoulder. That fuckin' sexy smirk. He bites his lip and says, "Give it to me, Jazz." Holy fuck. And I come. I come imagining my jizz decorating his ass cheeks in white strips as he moans with each spurt. He licks his lips and lifts his ass in silent invitation, loving my warm come on his skin. Fuck, I'm still cumming. My body shakes, but I stay silent and regulate my breathing quietly.

Holy shit. I fall onto my back, pull my boxers over my sensitive cock and fall asleep quickly.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: You Stay Classy San Diego

I can't believe I did that. _What was I thinking? He was right next to me for Christ's sake!_

I have got to get some control over this. I'm not sure how, but it's about to drive me crazy.

It seems like now, its worse. The slightest brush, the most innocent look can elicit my lustful response. If I thought it was bad before…

Now, with Rose out of the picture, we've been spending even more time together. We're back to our morning drives alone again.

"You like to swim?" Edward surprises me this morning.

"What?"

"Swimming, do you know how to swim?" He reiterates.

"Uh, I know how to… like I had lessons when I was little…"

He nods, "I was thinking since we can't run outside anymore, maybe we could check the Y and swim instead."

I blink at him. I swallow as the image of a wet Edward fills my mind. "Sure," I croak out.

Edward smiles, "Cool."

* * *

School is not much different after the breakup. People talked for a few days, but Edward's popularity is soaring with his new single status. There seems to be a lot more giggly girls peering at him these days. He smiles politely and claims they're looking at me. I blush and tell him to shut up.

"You don't want a girlfriend?" He asks.

I shrug, "Not really." I evade.

He nods, "Girls can be a lot of work. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't do anything right."

I nod, silent.

"I think you got the right idea," he smiles at me. He means being single, not being gay. I scoff internally, _yeah, fall in love with your straight best friend, that's the way to do it._

* * *

Edward keeps asking about my college applications and I've been dodging him. The truth is I've applied to a few and found out I've been accepted to all of them. My most recently sent application, I haven't heard from yet. The desperation makes me sad, to think I applied to his school just to be close to him. Close to someone who has no idea how deep I'm in it. I know that I can't allow myself to go through with it just because he's my friend. But I allow my heart to fantasize about us living together, studying in the college library, grabbing a beer at nearby pub.

Of course, we're together, not just friends. I can hug and kiss him at will. I can hold his hand until we separate to head to our individual classes.

I shake my head in disbelief of myself.

* * *

_How did I get here?_ I take a slow, deep breath. I know somewhere Alice is laughing at me.

"Are you nervous or something?" He jolts me out of my thoughts.

I shake my head and avoid looking anywhere below his neck.

He laughs, "You look like you're going to puke."

I roll my shoulders and twist my torso, trying to relax.

"You're pretty fit for a geeky history buff," he teases. His hands are on his hips… or his trunks. His tight trunks. He's looking at me, laughing at me. I'm sure he thinks I'm scared of the water. I've never seen his naked chest before and it doesn't disappoint. He's filling out into a man's physique. Spatterings of light hair, small light brown nipples, _oh shit, my cock twitched. _I look away and clear my head.

"You're pretty fit for a dorky music major," I tease back.

He laughs, "I like the sound of that."

He directs me. As always, I follow. We practice different swim strokes, use paddle boards, and race each other in each event. Even if he doesn't want to play football forever, he can be competitive when he wants to be. And I'm kicking ass at swimming. He's huffing hard as I wait at the end of the lane for him to catch up.

"You set me up," he breathes out, his eyes narrowing at me.

My jaw drops, "What?"

He shakes his head, inching closer. "You were all acting like you were nervous and shit and you KNEW you could kick my ass."

I laugh at him. His eyebrow cocked as he continues to approach me, I start to back up. I hit the lane divider as he lunges and pulls me beneath the water.

My hands are sliding along his torso, grabbing at his flexed biceps, his legs kicking against mine as we wrestle in the water.

I feel hard muscle along my body and I know I won't be able to stop my body's reaction. I try to pull away, but he thinks I'm playing games and yanks me to him. He's laughing and smiling at me as I'm pressed against his body. I try to smile, but I'm freaking out. And then he presses his hips into mine. His erection into mine.

"Gotcha," he winks and pulls himself out of the pool.

* * *

**:) Hugh Jackman, an orgasm, half-naked boys in a pool. So many good things happening! Much love, AR**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello!**

**This chapter is a little shorter than my previous, but I wanted to get some writing out there! I only have a few hours a week to actually write, so here goes! **

**Thank you for following the story and for all the great reviews! They make my heart happy. I loved the reaction of the last chapter. I promise things are coming to a head here soon! I have nothing pre-written at this point, so I'm guessing another three or fours chapters left.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_From Chapter Five:_

_I feel hard muscle along my body and I know I won't be able to stop my body's reaction. I try to pull away, but he thinks I'm playing games and yanks me to him. He's laughing and smiling at me as I'm pressed against his body. I try to smile, but I'm freaking out. And then he presses his hips into mine. His erection into mine._

"_Gotcha," he winks and pulls himself out of the pool._

* * *

I tentatively follow behind after Edward retreats into the locker room. My mind is racing, my breath coming out in small, silent pants.

I hear him whistling as he towels off at his locker as I pad over to him. He smiles up at me, rubbing the towel through his hair. "Wanna get some lunch somewhere?"

Wide eyed, I swallow some disappointment and nod.

* * *

Nothing, he says nothing. He doesn't touch me again the entire weekend in anyway that shows me he knows. No hint that he might want me.

I rub my hands over my tired face and plead to Alice. "Tell me what's going on."

I relayed the incident to her in whispers as I followed her through girly stores at the mall.

"What do you mean?" She laughs at me.

I give her a sad face, "You always know. Help me."

She sighs as she replaces a shirt onto a rack and grabs my arm. She pulls me out of the store and sits me on a bench. People mill around as she turns her body toward me.

"Edward… he doesn't know. I mean, if he does, he's not ready. But most likely he doesn't really know." I give a confused look. _He had his cock on my cock._

"Ok… Edward's indecisive. Remember how long it took for him to break up with Rose, he still plays football, and he still hasn't talked to his parents about college." I nod, following.

"He needs time. He stews on things in his brain," she gestures toward his head. "I think you're closer to what you want than you have ever been before, but try to be patient. Things will fall into place."

I slump and sigh in my seat. She lets out small laugh and sips from her Starbucks cup. "I know… _boys_."

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.

I try not to be, but I feel tense around Edward. _Does he know? How could he not? Why won't he acknowledge it?_

I've started mentally cataloging his behaviors searching for clues. Maybe beneath it, subconsciously he likes me that way. Or he's really good at hiding it.

#1 He got me a chocolate milk at lunch.

It's a bit of a stretch, I know...

I see over his shoulder at lunch that Rose is cuddled against Emmett's side. He follows my eyes and shrugs. "Emmett asked me if he could ask her out."

My eyebrows raise, "Huh." Edward obviously said yes… "Does it bother you?"

He smiles and shakes his head, "One of the best decisions I've ever made."

#2 Best decision is ever made is breaking up with the hottest girl in our high school.

Alice changes the subject, "Jay tells me you guys are swimming now?"

Edward nods enthusiastically, "Yeah! Jazz is really good, did you know he could swim like Phelps?"

I blush and shake my head at him, Alice laughs too.

"He totally lied to me."

I chime in, "I didn't lie to you."

He doesn't acknowledge me, he's leaning in toward Alice. "He's like a pool shark. Or... like a swimming pool shark." He laughs at his own joke. "He'll hustle you."

I bury my blushing face in my hands.

#3 No qualms over the boner party in the pool.

The next day he hands me a disc in the car. "It's the new Muse album, with Madness on it."

I smile at him, "Thanks."

He laughs, "Well, you play the music video like every freakin' day."

#4 More music. And he pays attention.

Oh, and he called last night 'just to talk'. That's #5.

By the end of that school day, I'm sick and tired. Well, because I think someone gave me the flu. My body starts to ache.

Edward gives me a worried look and touches his hand to my forehead (#6). "You don't look so good, Jazz."

Edward skips final period to drive me home (#7). I clutch at my stomach, the easy car ride making me nauseous.

Edward follows me to my room, makes sure I call my dad, and places a wastebasket by my bedside 'just in case'. He pulls my sweatshirt up and yanks off my jeans (#8) before leading me to my bed.

"Good?" He tucks the blankets under and around my body, creating a cocoon (#9). _As snug as a bug in a rug._ I shiver nonetheless and nod.

"Alright," he pats my leg. "I'll give you a call tonight to see how you're doing."

"Thank you E." I mumble out.

He smiles at me, pats me one more time. (#10) "No problem, Jazz."

* * *

New shirt of the day because I sweat through the other one: My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

Oh god. I'm so sick. And I'm slightly delirious. My head is pounding and it keeps me from sleeping.

My dad checks in on me every once in a while checking my temperature and laughs at some of the comments coming from my confused brain.

He hands me my phone, "It's Edward."

He shuts the door as he leaves.

"Edward." I state into the phone with my eyes closed.

His laugh comes through the phone. "Jasper," he states back.

"You're pretty out of it, huh?" He asks.

"Thank you," I reply.

"What?"

I nod and pull my covers up to my neck. "You skipped today."

"Oh, yeah. I told you, no problem."

"That was like number 13 or something?"

"What are you talking about?" He seems amused.

"You have to make a decision."

He sighs, "Is this about my parents?"

"You have to make many decisions Ed…ward."

He laughs, "I know I do, Mr. Miyagi."

"You can't stew on things so much. Things don't like that."

"Right…"

"Yeah," I reply.

He snickers at me, "Ok, well you try to get some rest. Keep checking that temperature, ok?"

"Mmhmm." I'm falling asleep.

"I'll stop by tomorrow to see you, cool?"

"Mmhmm. Fourteen."

"Who knew you were such a mathematician. Goodnight Jazz."

"Buh-bye."

* * *

The fever breaks just before my dad considers taking me to the ER. I'm exhausted, but glad to be holding my liquids finally.

I feel slightly hungry, but my stomach churns after I eat anything.

Edward stops by late afternoon and brings Hugh Jackman movies (# I don't know anymore).

He stays til he knows I need to rest and pats my head goodbye.

* * *

It's Sunday and I'm still recovering, but bored out my mind. If I do any activity for too long, I need a nap. I stay in my room and occupy my time with music and the internet.

I see an ad on the side of my webpage advertising hot singles in my area. The man in the ad is ripped and shirtless, laughing while talking on the phone to what I guess is a hot single in his area.

I feel my cock twitch as I think of Edward shirtless. I close my eyes and think of the day we swam. What would have happened if he stayed in the water, if we were alone instead of a public pool. I would die at the feeling of his hard on sliding against mine. My boxers tent as I sit in my desk chair.

I go to a webpage I've visited before. I search some of the videos until I find what I'm looking for. Two younger men, naked and hard, are in a staged living room. One with blond wavy hair, the other a brunette, they touch each other's chests in the video, kissing gently. I pull my boxers down and pump lotion into my hand.

The feel of the cool lotion against the hot skin of my cock makes me groan. The blond boy kisses at his lover's nipples and down to his abs until he's on his knees. He smiles up at the brunette as he licks the head of the cock in front of him. I stroke toward the end of my hard on, imagining Edward's taste. My mouth is agape, my tongue moving in small flicks as if I could lap at Edward.

When I look at the screen again, the blond is holding the brunette's cock at the base as his mouth moves in steady pumps, leaving a slickened trail when he pulls off.

The brunette watches intently, his abs crunching, his hands buried in his partner's hair.

My cock is in a similar state, red and aching. Pre-cum beaded at the tip means I'm so close. The brunette's hand tightens in the blond's hair as he pulls out his partner's mouth. Edward wrenches my head back and groans at the site of my open mouth, my red cock-sucking lips.

"Swallow me," he requests as his hand pumps.

I nod and open wider. He emits a long moan and his eyes squeeze shut as the first spurt of his cum hits my tongue. His mouth open and gaping, he looks down at me again to watch himself shoot into my mouth. I close my lips around the head and gently massage it with my tongue and swallow it all.

I creamed in my lap. I look down at my lotion and cum covered hand, panting. Fuck, I want to suck Edward's cock. I want to see his face contort as an orgasm overtakes him.

I grab some tissues when I hear my dad at the door, "Jazz?" He walks in.

My heart jumps as I push the monitor button my computer, but the audio of the video plays out manly groans followed by, "Fuck yeah, suck it."

I slam on the mute button and close my eyes. I don't turn around to see my father's face. He can't see me and the jizz in my lap, but I'm sure he knows exactly what I was doing and what I was doing it to.

With heat flushing my face and a hand on my forehead, I reply, "Yeah?"

He clears his throat, "Lunch is ready if you want to try to eat something."

I nod, "Ok, give me a minute please."

The door closes and I lean back and sigh. _Fuckin' a._

* * *

**Will Jasper tell Edward about the incident? Bet your ass he will, next chapter! Much love, AR**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! I'm updating, yay! Well, prepare yourselves, it's about to get a little angsty. But I'm a happy ending kinda girl, so no worries. :)**

**Enjoy! **

**And thank you for last chapter's reviews, they are awesome motivation!**

* * *

_From Chapter Six:_

_I slam on the mute button and close my eyes. I don't turn around to see my father's face. He can't see me and the jizz in my lap, but I'm sure he knows exactly what I was doing and what I was doing it to._

_With heat flushing my face and a hand on my forehead, I reply, "Yeah?"_

_He clears his throat, "Lunch is ready if you want to try to eat something."_

_I nod, "Ok, give me a minute please."_

_The door closes and I lean back and sigh. Fuckin' a._

* * *

My dad and I don't talk about it. We act like nothing happened. _Story of my life…_

Edward comes by that evening with a pint of ice cream and looks curiously between me and dad. He must sense some tension and I really don't want to have to tell him what happened, so I ignore the odd looks.

He plops on my bed and spoons a bite of ice cream into his mouth. "So… what's going on in the Whitlock household?"

I drop my head and sigh. I play Smashing Pumpkins on my ITunes. I try to see how long I won't have to answer him.

When I peek at him, he's smiling at me, waiting.

"C'mon, can't be that bad."

I send his a stern look and he's still smiling at me.

"You've been sick in your room all weekend, what did he catch you jacking off?"

I close my eyes and a flush creeps up my neck.

"Holy shit." I hear him drop his spoon into his ice cream bowl and then laughing. He's all out, uncontained laughing.

"It's not funny," I lay my head on my desk, but can't help laughing a little too. He is so amused.

"I'm sorry," he gasps. "It's not funny."

I shake my head, still bent over my desk and mumble, "No, no. Apparently it is."

When I look over at him, he's flush and wiping away a tear at his eye. I can't help, but smile at him. He lets out a long breath, blinks and smiles back. "Sorry."

I start laughing at him and he snorts in return.

"Okay, okay. Seriously, I feel for ya man," He pounds his chest.

"Shut up."

"So," he clears his throat. "Your dad caught you playing couch hockey for one?"

I give him an odd look, "More like desk hockey, I suppose."

Edward's eyebrows rose and his grin widened. "At the computer? Cleaning out your account?"

_Oh god_. I sigh and close my eyes. "Here we go. Just get it over with."

"What?" Edward looks at me innocently. "You were practicing your wrist aerobics, buttering the corn, adjusting the antenna, sanding wood, fly fishing, giving it a low five."

I stare at him in disbelief. "How do you know all those?"

He laughs and points at himself, "Jock, remember? I got a million of 'em."

"That's ridiculous." I scratch at the back of my neck.

"Hey," he hits my shoulder, more seriously. "It'll pass over. You're not the first and you won't be the last, Jazz."

I nod.

Edward grabs his ice cream bowl again, "So, internet porn… what'd you find so… intriguing?"

I freeze and send him a serious look. "I will not be discussing my… preferences."

He gapes at me, "You won't tell me what made you abuse your wicked stick?"

"God! No, I will not."

"I could look at your history," he threatens.

"Already deleted," I reply smugly.

He rolls his eyes and scoffs at me, "Fine. Holding out on me… you know I gotta put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college too."

I choke on my ice cream. It's fitting somehow.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Dyslexics are Teople Poo.

"You had kind of a tough weekend Jazz," Edward reminds me on the car ride to school.

I groan, brushing a hand through my hair, "Yeah, tell me about it."

"You going to be able to eat anything today?"

I turn to him, he's giving me a concerned look. "Yeah, probably a little bit. I'm on the mend."

He nods, turns back to the road. "You were giving me a little scare on the phone on Friday night."

Phone call… I remember some of that, I think. "I did?"

He laughs, "You don't remember?"

I nod my head slowly, "Some of it..."

"You were talking about numbers and telling me I need to make decisions. I think you were delirious."

I laugh a little, "Sounds like it."

"It was good though." He reassures me, nodding. "I'm going to talk to my parents this week about my college application and the music department."

I smile over at him, he's nodding and chewing his lip.

I rub my hand across his shoulder and he smiles at me, "You'll be fine."

* * *

"So are you going to tell Alice about your weekend?" Edward offers at the lunch table.

I give him a suspicious look. "I was sick… all weekend."

Alice frowns at me, "That sucks."

"And…" Edward pushes and I glare at him. He better not…

"And… I stayed in bed and I puked my brains out."

I continued to glare at Edward and he smiles, backing off.

Alice looks between us curiously, "So, you're feeling better then…?"

I relax a little, "Yeah, better at least."

I sip on water and eat dry foods for lunch. I'm not sure what to make of Edward's behavior and trying to out my embarrassing incident to Alice.

After I gather books for my afternoon periods, I find him at his locker. "So, what was that about at lunch?"

He has the decency to look bashful and shrugs, "I thought you and Alice were close."

I shake my head at him, angry "We are! But she doesn't need to know about my dad catching me…"

He raises his eyebrows, "Applying the hand brake?"

I sigh and sternly reply, "If I wanted her to know, I would tell me her myself."

I stand away from the lockers to head to class when he grabs my arm. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "It's just… I want to know." The feel of his grip on my arm makes me want to shiver.

We're standing really close, his eyes searching my face. "Want to know what?"

"I want to know what you were watching," he replies low and a blush reddens his cheeks.

I feel like the heat between us has risen to 100 degrees. "Edward, I'm not sure you'd be interested in what I was watching," I whisper back shyly.

He lets me go and closes his locker. "You might be surprised." He winks and heads to class.

* * *

Here I am, same situation, mind reeling over Edward's words.

"Shoot me," I plead to Alice in class. I didn't tell her the whole story because then I'd have to explain… all the other stuff. She just knew when I plopped in my seat that something had happened.

She smiles, scribbling notes. "Jazz, he's getting closer to a decision. Don't blow it."

I gape at her and whisper back, "Me? I have been the pinnacle of patience here Alice! I stand by as he continues to drop one-sentence bombs in my face and walks away. Never to be discussed again."

She nods, "You're doing great."

I groan.

"Mr. Whitlock!" The teacher calls my name and my head snaps up.

"Yes ma'am?"

"You can honk your horn after class, but right now I need you to pay attention or I'll have to separate the two of you," she warns.

"Yes ma'am." _Honk your horn?_ Edward will love that one.

* * *

After an awkward and lightening speed dinner with my father, I retreat to my room to finish some homework.

I play Beck on my ITunes and hunch over my honors world history paper.

There's a knock at my door and yell without turning around, "Come in."

I'm sure the incident will at least get my dad to knock before barging in, guaranteed.

I turn when I hear the door close and its Edward.

He stands by my door, eyes cast downward with his hands on his hips.

"Hey…" I start, but realize something is very wrong.

He swallows hard and closes his eyes.

I blink at him and stand, "What's wrong? What happened?"

He scoffs and rubs a hand over his face. "You said. You said that it would be okay, they would accept me…because they love me."

His voice breaks and I feel my heart plummet to my feet.

"Fuck….Edward…" I step toward him and he holds up a hand.

"Don't."

I stop and wait.

"I can't do this anymore," he says behind his hand.

I look up panicked, "Do what? What do you mean?"

He drops his hand, his serious face slowly brightens. He starts laughing and grinning and throws up his arms.

"Cause you were right! They said 'yes'!" He explodes in laughter and I get out a small smile before he rushes me. My breath is pushed out of me as he hurls himself at me, throwing me down onto my soft bed.

"You were fuckin' right Jazz," he says in my ear as his body pins me down. "I'm going to be a musician!"

I laugh and hold his sides. His body on mine is intoxicating. I want to reach down and pull his hips up into mine. "Maybe you should to into theater instead. You scared the shit out of me."

He pushes up away from my torso. His arms on either side of my head and he's smiling down at me.

"Gotcha again."

He's happy and beautiful. His hair is falling in his face, his eyes twinkling.

I reach up and cup his cheek, his eyes search mine.

His smile fades slowly as I swallow down some nervousness. I prop myself up on my elbow, our faces within inches of each other. He's watching me carefully, only deep breaths.

I lean up and nudge my nose into his cheek, we gaze at each other curiously. My lips meet his, his mouth is still and slightly open. I close my eyes as I apply a little more pressure against his lips. I flick my tongue and taste him. My god, he tastes so wonderful. I pant and press harder, opening his mouth a little wider. I feel him move and my heart stutters that he is finally reacting. I run my tongue across his bottom lip and moan.

"Wait," he pants.

My eyes open instantly. He's blinking and sitting back away from me. He licks at his lips, but he's not looking at me. There is confusion furrowing his brow.

_No, no, no, no. _

He closes his eyes for a brief moment and looks at me, "Are you gay?"

I feel my eyes widen. _He can't be serious_. "What?"

His face growing stern, "You never told me you were gay."

I feel speechless and I'm having a hard time gauging his reaction. "I… I thought…you figured it out…"

He half laughs at me, "Why would I know that if you never told me?"

I gape at him, "I don't know, maybe because of all the things you've been saying to me… and that day in the pool…"

His eyes narrow, "The pool?"

_Oh god, have I been misreading everything?_

I fall onto my back and sigh, "You…rubbed up against me. We were both… hard."

"Jazz, guys get erections while working out all the time and you know, we're still in high school, it happens whenever."

I let out a frustrated groan and rub my hands over my face. _I can't be making this up._

"You thought… it was because …" He softly insinuates.

"Please stop talking," I beg. Fuck, I have made a huge mess and I'm going to be the one paying for it.

"You like me…" he claims as if he's just figured it all out.

I push the heels of my hands into my eyes and let out a strangled breath.

"Jazz…" Edward's hand brushes my arm. I crawl backward away from him.

"No! Please…please don't. I've obviously imagined too many of these moments where you care for me and I can't… do that anymore."

I sit on the edge of the bed and hold my head in my hands. I hear him shuffle around and know he's sitting in a similar state on the other side.

"Fuck…" he whispers.

I let out a short laugh, "Yeah."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

Anger boils inside me, "Really? That's what you got... out of this whole…shitfest!" I'm talking at the wall.

"Yeah!" I hear him turning as he replies angrily to me. "Yeah, best friends, right? There's not supposed to be secrets between best friends, Jazz!"

I stand instantly to face him and he quickly reacts the same way. We're tense, standing tall in front of each other.

"Fine! No secrets?" I point to myself. "My name is Jasper Whitlock and I am gay and in love with my best friend, Edward Masen." His face, his body softens at my words. I poke at him, "You tell me when I should have worked that into a conversation."

I don't want pity. But it's there, staring me in the face. "Please go." My voice cracks. I feel my eyes watering.

I see him struggle with what to say or do, I sit in my desk chair to face away from him. "Please."

"This isn't done, Jazz," he replies softly and the door closes behind him.

* * *

**Well...there is still happiness to be had. I only hope that the angst was fairly realistic, though maybe a little confusing for all of us, including Edward. See you soon! Much love, AR**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok! Chapter 8. I just have to reassure you that this story is rated M for a reason, as those will be coming soon. I know I could have used a pun there... It will have it's time and place in this story. Instant hard-core fucking will not be present, at least not right now. I like lemons like any other girl. :)**

**Anyways! Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for the entertaining and awesome reviews! I'm getting poetry, a guest said it was "AMAZEBALLS" to which I laughed out loud, readers are digging on Alice. You guys keep me going, I wouldn't have a reason to write any of this if I didn't think someone out there might enjoy it too.**

**Please, enjoy!**

* * *

_From Chapter Seven:_

"_Fine! No secrets?" I point to myself. "My name is Jasper Whitlock and I am gay and in love with my best friend, Edward Masen." His face, his body softens at my words. I poke at him, "You tell me when I should have worked that into a conversation."_

_I don't want pity. But it's there, staring me in the face. "Please go." My voice cracks. I feel my eyes watering._

_I see him struggle with what to say or do, I sit in my desk chair to face away from him. "Please."_

"_This isn't done, Jazz," he replies softly and the door closes behind him. _

* * *

The rejection hits me hard. Well, the embarrassment anyways. My ears, neck and cheeks stay flush well after he's left my room. I cringe replaying the conversation, my actions, his surprise.

That night after I slip under the covers, my brain is restless. It all plays in a loop behind my eyelids never allowing me peace, even in my subconscious. I wake up often, readjusting my sheets, flipping my pillows. With every interruption in my sleep, I re-analyze why I'm awake and the humiliation washes over me again.

_How could I have been so wrong?_ The moment was so perfect. His body on top of mine, his smile, the pure happiness emanating down on me as he pins to my bed.

When I stare into the darkness of my bedroom at midnight, I know I can't face him in the morning. Unfortunately, it's still the beginning of the school week and he'll be at my house, bright and early, right on time.

I text him: **I'm going to walk in the morning. **

I get no response. If he doesn't get it now, he will in the morning.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Living in a Van down by the River!

Due to last night's events and my brain on constant rewind, I'm more exhausted than if I decided to stay up all night.

I'm up early due to the longer commute time to school on foot. I dress warm in layers as it's nearing Christmas and the mornings are growing colder.

I warm a Pop tart, sling on my bag, and step outside. Surprise stalls my breath and my heart sputters.

He's here already. There is Edward. Leaning casually against the passenger side door of his running car, his arms crossed over his wool winter jacket. His cheeks are flush as he sends me a small smile, his breath floating away in small puffs of white.

I freeze and a painful lump forms in my throat. _Why is he so goddamn beautiful?_

He stands and puts his hands in his pockets and calls out across the yard to me, "I'm not going to let you push me away."

I swallow thickly as I slowly approach, my boots crunching the snow underfoot. I nod at him, squinting in the early morning light.

He stands in front of me; he reaches out and adjusts the hat on my head. "You look tired."

I peek up at him, "You too."

He nods with a half smirk, "Ready?"

I nod again and get in the car.

* * *

He hands me a disc in the car.

"What is this?"

He clears his throat as he starts the drive. "It's, uh, well it's one of my favorites, but I was too embarrassed to tell you."

I laugh, "Ingrid Michaelson?"

He laughs too, "Yeah."

"Thanks, I'll check it out," I smile.

We're quiet for a period and I'm suddenly reminded of all the times he's done this. All the times I've misconstrued his actions for something more.

I blurt out, "Why do you give me these? You're always making me burned discs I don't even ask for."

He looks taken aback by my sudden question and looks at me before returning his eyes to the road. "Music's always been something special to … you and me. It's one of my favorite things about… us. I don't know anyone that loves music as much as I do except you."

I nod and look out the window until we arrive at school. _Not exactly the answer I was looking for._

* * *

My third period is with Alice. I smile at her sadly and she looks at me worriedly.

She writes on a piece of paper and scoots it to me.

_What's wrong?_

I contemplate telling her during a break versus getting caught on a piece of paper, but the teacher is occupied playing us videos while she leans back drinking her diet Pepsi, so I write:

_I kissed him._

I see her eyes widen and turn to me. I give her another sad smile.

She writes in return: _And?!_

I laugh a little and scribble: _He had __no idea__. I made a complete fool of myself. _

She studies the paper and watches our class film briefly before she scratches:

_He didn't seem upset this morning_

I shrug at her and reply:

_He was pissed that he didn't know I liked boys_

_Like I was lying to him_

She gawks at the paper and smiles broadly at me. She leans in and whispers softly to me, "So he wasn't upset…about the kiss, then?"

I think about it hard and shake my head. "No… I mean, I don't think so."

She smiles and leans on her hands, winking at me. "That's got mean something."

* * *

Football season has been over for a few weeks, so Edward can give me a ride home everyday now. The season ended in the playoffs. Edward had his best year of football, but the team couldn't quite pull it off. Today, the car ride home is quieter than usual and before I can retreat into my house, he grabs my arm, "Do want to hang out after dinner tonight?"

I'm not sure, honestly. My head is ready to crack from all the pressure. "I'll check with my dad." That's a crock of shit and he knows it. I've never had to do that before, but he nods shyly and allows me to escape into the house.

I'm too subdued and slightly depressed to care about any awkwardness between me and dad anymore.

I'm silent as I push around the food on my plate. My dad clears his throat and sips his milk, "Everything alright, Jasper?"

I look up at his furrowed brow and nod.

"Did you have a fight with Edward?"

I'm surprised by his words and gape at him curiously.

He stabs a noodle with his fork, "I heard some yelling last night and then he left."

I slump in my chair, "Yeah."

He nods, "Are, uh…um…are you two…" I pause and stare at him expectantly. "What I mean is… is he your boyfriend?"

I feel my jaw drop. Oh god.

I shut it quickly and I stare down at my plate, "Why would you think that?"

He clutches his napkin and folds his hands on the table. "Well, I just recently… and uh, accidently learned of your…sexual preferences, as you know."

I let my head drop on the table in misery.

He rushes through it, "And he's over a lot, seems to really enjoy your company. I was just curious."

I lift my flush face off the table, "He's not my boyfriend."

My father examines me for a short time, looking over me carefully. "Do you want him to be?"

I look my father in the eye and feel all reservations leave my body. "Yes."

* * *

**Can I come over?**

I stare at my phone, my thumb running over the keys, contemplating what to text in response. I feel my head yelling at me to say no. I need space, I need time. I can't process anything when he's close to me.

My heart tells me that would mean and cruel. He's still your best friend and he's important to you, just like you are important to him. Man up, Jasper.

Before I can reply to him, I hear the doorbell ring and my father talking to someone.

I look at the door breathlessly as I hear someone clomping up the stairs toward my room.

There's brief knock and the door opens slowly. "Jazz?"

His eyes peek around and when he finds me watching the door intently, he smiles.

"I didn't want to interrupt anything... important you may be doing."

I roll my eyes and shake my head.

He laughs, "Sorry, couldn't help it."

"Of course not," I respond, not very angry at all. I look down at the phone in my hand.

"I, uh… was already here when I sent that text."

I nod at him and watch him shyly bite his lip and stand awkwardly by the door. "Do you want me to go?"

His eyes meet mine and I know I don't think I could ever say a mean thing to this beautiful boy. "No."

He smiles and rubs at his neck. "Cool."

He lets his backpack drop from his shoulder, "Uh, what are you working on? I was hoping you could help with my scholarship application? I have no fuckin' clue what I'm doing."

I nod, turning to my computer. I play Silversun Pickups on my ITunes and open a blank document.

He pulls a chair up beside me. "Now that my parents are cool with it, I've got to get in!" He laughs in excitement.

I realize suddenly that I completely ruined that moment for him. It was his time, his right to be happy and excited to tell me, and I fucked it up.

I close my eyes and cringe, "Yeah, sorry. I didn't get to congratulate you on that last night."

I can tell he's looking at me, but I'm picking at my fingernails by my keyboard.

He bumps me with his shoulder, my body sways slightly. "Hey, it's all because of you. You pushed me, you were right."

"And now…" I look at him and he gazes at me. "Now, I'm going to happy… because of you."

I shake my head, "I think you're giving me too much credit, E."

He bumps me again, "I think it'll never be enough."

* * *

We work on his scholarship application and essay for a while before Edward becomes bored and starts changing the music selection around.

I watch from my bed, needing a little physical space from him. His scent was brainwashing me and the warmth radiating from his body was too alluring.

I smile as he plays air guitar and lightly head bangs to the White Stripes.

He looks over at me, he's watching me. I raise an eyebrow at him in questions, but he gives nothing away. His eyes continue to study.

"What?" I ask softly.

He shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts, clicks on softer music and approaches the bedside.

He lies beside me, staring at the ceiling. His arm is warm against mine and his hand rubs through his hair. Our heads are so close, I can feel his hand rustling closer to my curls. Soon, his hand is rubbing through both of our locks. I sigh and close my eyes at the feeling.

I exhale, "You touch me a lot."

His hand stills, but continues soon after. "I'm a touchy, feely kinda guy."

I keep my eyes closed when I ask, "Do you touch Emmett like this?"

He snorts, and replies evenly, "No."

I turn my head and he mirrors me. His eyes are clear and close. "Do you tackle and pin him on his bed?"

He searches my face and shakes his head lightly, "No."

_Good. _I close my eyes and lean my head on his shoulder as his hand moves through my hair in even strokes. I let him lull me into a drowsy state.

My brain becomes mush as I enjoy his caresses. My eyes pop open when I realize his gentle ministrations have created a _hard_ situation in my boxers. I fling the corner of my bed covers over my waist, his movements halt.

He looks at me curiously. His eyes move down in confusion at the bedspread and then I see realization light in his eyes.

"Oh…." He grins.

I squeeze my eyes shut and refuse to look at him.

"Just from me, rubbing your hair?" He asks gently in my ear.

"I'm not taking questions right now."

He laughs and I feel his hand tentatively return to my hair. He increases his pressure, scraping his short nails seductively along my scalp.

I can't stop the moan from escaping me. I curl my body as my cock twitches and turn away from him.

His movements in my hair don't stop. I feel the bed move as he scoots a little closer.

His breath is warm on the back of my neck, I shiver.

I can feel his lips ghost over my skin as he asks, "Will you… be thinking of me later? When you're alone?"

I will my body under control as his seductive words flame the lust inside me.

"Is that what you want?"

He's spends a moment in thought, "I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out."

I don't reply, so he continues, "Have you ever thought of me… before?"

I don't know what to say. I can't tell if I'm setting myself up for failure. If I admit it, will he become disgusted? Will this be the end of anything between us? In this moment, it sure doesn't feel like he's being deceptive. He's nestled close to my body, his lips close to my ear.

When I don't replay, his hand pulls me back to face him. There is question in his face, "Have you…?"

I blink at him slowly and watch him carefully, "Yes."

His mouth twitches as if he's trying to contain some emotion. He loses and a small smile appears before he ducks his head.

"I'm already past curfew," he whispers. I nod as he sits up.

He slings his backpack over his shoulder, his face slightly flush as he continues to smile bashfully.

"Sweet dreams, Jazz," he teases on his way to the door.

I roll my eyes, "Ugh. Shut up." _Asshole. _I laugh.

"Don't stay up all night, I'm pretty awesome, but we have school in the morning."

"Get out," I replay, shaking my head.

"Hey Jazz," he whispers at the door. I look up at him from my bed, he nods confidently, "I'm even better in real life." He winks and closes my door.

* * *

**I kinda love confused, yet self-assured Edward. He'll get there, I promise. Much love, AR**


	9. Chapter 9

**Oh goodness. I just finished writing this chapter and wanted to get you guys an update asap!**

**It's all coming together! Amazing how that works sometimes!**

**Thank you, thank you for the reviews! There are so many of you that I know I can rely on to review everytime. I hope to always be as rockstar of a reader like you all. **

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

Edward has obviously in some capacity accepted that I am in love with him. And he won't let it deter us from keeping a close friendship. And so the confusion continues.

My head begins to throb as the stress of maintaining the normalcy starts to wan on me. I can't figure out if he will just string me along until he decides he's had enough fun, if he's contemplating our relationship, his sexuality, or just extremely smug that he has this intense effect on me.

Over the next few days, I begin to call him out. I call him out every time he does something that I think could be misconstrued as a romantic gesture. I want to show him the definitive difference between friendships with other guys like Emmett and the way he continuously blurs the lines with me.

At lunch, his leg rests against mine under the table. I am achingly aware of the warmth of his limb through my jeans.

He's in conversation with Alice beside him when I blurt, "You're leg is touching mine."

They looks at me in surprise. He acts as if he hadn't noticed. His response is always the same with a half smile: "Do you want me to stop?"

And I reluctantly always answer: "…no."

* * *

How in the world did I end up in this position again?

I rub my hands over the goosebumps on my arms in the chilly air of the pool side. The cleansing shower I took beforehand leaves me shivering and my nipples hard.

I look at Edward to my left to find him staring at me in my swim trunks.

His eyes meet mine, but he doesn't say anything. His lean body is wet too, but he doesn't seem to be cold.

His hair damp, pushed back from his face as he calmly assesses me. I raise an eyebrow at him, "Anything you would like to share with the class, Edward?"

He smiles bashfully. He allows his eyes to roam up my body. "I'm just checking out the view," he replies cockily.

I bristle by his sudden brazenness. "Do you check out other boys?"

He slowly shakes his head no, his hands rest on his hips. He approaches me slowly, his eyes flick over my chest, neck, pause at my lips, and meet my eyes. His intense gaze causes me to shiver again.

"Do you want me to stop?"

I swallow, blush and face the pool lane. "No."

* * *

I yell back at him and I swim ahead, "You're never going to be become a better swimmer if you don't keep your hands to yourself."

He laughs and swims closer. "Can't help it, you bring out my competitive side." I smile, he's been pulling at my limbs slowing me down the entire swim session. But I'm positive the way his body has been brushing against mine is no accident.

He continues, "I feel the need to chase you." The way his eyes are peeking at me under his lowered lashes makes me believe we may not talking about swimming anymore.

I examine him, quietly, both of us submerged up to our chins in the water. "I'm not running from you Edward. I'm right here."

He gives nothing away as he continues to gaze at me. Finally, he nods. "Let's clean up."

* * *

I lag behind at my changing space to allow him time to shower in the communal shower alone. I hear him whistling as water hits the tiled floor.

Edward's teasing in the pool kept me half-hard during the entire swim. And now knowing he's naked behind a few rows of lockers isn't helping either. When I hear his shower shut off, I grab my soap supplies and towel and head his way. He smiles at me arrogantly with his small, white towel around his waist as I pass. I return a tight-lipped grin.

I remove my trunks in the shower area, rinsing out the chlorine from the pool. I shampoo and lather shower gel in record time and turn to retrieve my towel. He's watching me. He's half dressed, his towel-dried hair spikes in all directions as he peeks around the lockers. I snatch my towel and hold it in front of my increasingly hardening cock. Knowing he was watching me naked and soapy leaves me panting and flustered with a warm wave of lust. I send him a scowl and he smiles before he returns to his changing area. "Just checking out the view," he reminds me.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: You're killing me Smalls!

Alice joins us in my room at the end of a school day and hangs out for a while. She sits on the floor with her back to my bed and Edward as he crowds the whole mattress, flipping through a magazine.

I play Jack Johnson for her on my ITunes.

She clears her throat, gaining my attention. She winks at me privately before she speaks, "I had something interesting happen to me during pre-calc today…"

I cock an eyebrow at her waiting for her continue. She smiles, "Jessica and Lauren began asking me question about Jay."

I slump in my chair, suspicously, "What do you mean?

She lets out a small laugh, "They wanted to know if you were single."

My jaw drops and Edward snorts, not looking up from his magazine.

"What did you say?" I ask Alice.

"I told them that as I knew of, you were not dating anyone."

I bite my lip, "Huh."

Edward looks over immediately. "What do you mean, 'huh'? You don't date girls." He looks agitated.

I look down at Alice and she is smiling softly. She knew he would react this way.

I shrug, "I don't know. I've never dated a girl before." Do I want to date Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory? Fuck no. I want to see how Edward would react if I contemplated it.

Edward's eyes bug out at me in disbelief, "Lauren Mallory has dated almost every guy in school."

I look down at Alice, "Well, then she'd know what she's doing."

Alice shrugs and nods lightly, hardly containing her amusement.

Edward gapes at me as I continue, "Maybe I need to expand my horizons."

Edward sneers, "Gross, Jazz."

"What?! Unlike you Mr. Popular, I've only kissed one person in my whole life!"

Edward freezes as he stares at me from across the room. I swallow hard after I blurt out my confession. The room tenses.

Alice stands and claps her hands together awkwardly. "Well! I told my mom I'd be home for dinner... so I'll see you guys later."

I smile shyly at her, "See ya Alice." She gives me a small wink again and leaves quietly.

I turn to face my computer and rub my hand through my hair. I know he's still staring at me.

"I was your first kiss?"

The embarrassment tenses my whole body. "Yeah…" I admit softly. I fiddle with my computer mouse.

"Well….fuck Jazz." He rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling.

We are silent as music continues to flow out my computer speakers. In a moment of clarity, I realize Jack Johnson is singing "Sitting, Waiting, wishing."

_Must I always be waiting waiting on you?  
Must I always be playing playing your fool?  
No I can't always be waiting waiting on you_

I hurriedly clink on a less poignant song and turn toward him.

"Don't worry about it E."

He lets out a long sigh. I feel the guilt rolling off him. His guilt only serves to deepen my discomfort.

He sits up and peeks at me. He looks sad, slumping over. "I'm going to head home too." Bridled panic fills me. He's leaving.

"E, c'mon. Don't let that stuff-"

He holds up his hand. "Jazz, it's ok. I got stuff I gotta do there anyways. I'll be back here to pick you up in the morning."

I nod miserably. He gives me a sad smile and stands. He rubs his hand through my hair as he walks by to gather his things. My eyes close at the small, comforting gesture.

"See you tomorrow," he whispers at my door.

"Ok," I reply.

* * *

Something is going on inside his beautiful brain. He is drastically subdued from his normal, outgoing personality. It shines through in brief moments and then I see him return into a thoughtful state.

I know I pushed hard. Maybe I pushed too hard. I just wanted him to acknowledge how he behaves around me. I want him to see how I'm treated differently than his other friends. Well, I selfishly wanted him to see that maybe… maybe he loves me too.

I'm overcompensating for his quiet demeanor with an over exuberance of happiness. He smiles at me often, knowing exactly what I'm doing. We're both out of character now. I fill silences with chatter, essentially hoping everything will return to some state of normalcy.

When we come upon the third day of him finding excuses to be alone, I am reminded of the morning after the kiss.

"_I'm not going to let you push me away."_

So, I find myself on his back step.

I knock and shuffle my feet, nervously.

Edward answers the door, seemingly surprised, "Hey."

I smile at him, "Can we… go somewhere to talk?"

He nods, yells out to his parents that's he's leaving and we're walking side by side to his car.

* * *

He brings me to the beach.

It's cold, slightly windy, but beautiful. He gives me another clothing layer from the backseat of his car and we head toward the water.

The wind ruffles his hair, the light and the water brightens his eyes. We sit together, facing the waves on a log around a well-used fire pit. I find it hard to concentrate on all the things I was going to say with his beauty so evident, with his scent drifting from the sweatshirt I'm wearing.

I blink and he smiles at me shyly, stuffing his hands into pockets. His eyes roam my face as he waits quietly.

I clear my throat, "I… um…. Have you…?"

He laughs and smiles broadly, "Spit it out Jazz."

I laugh nervously, "Ok." I let out a short breath. I just going to say it. "Have you ever thought…that maybe…you belong with me?"

I look at him expectantly and he's blinking at me, his eyes wide.

"I…I just feel like its so easy being with you. We laugh and… I know I can tell you anything. We just get each other…"

I look down timidly, "I feel like I will never get this… with anyone else."

He looks out into the ocean and I feel like I may have made a mistake. He may not have been ready to hear that.

"I keep thinking about the kiss," his voice clear and strong.

I swallow hard, "I told you not to worry about it."

"No," he shakes his head. He turns to me, "I can't stop thinking about… the way you tasted."

My breath catches in my lungs as his eyes search my face. "Or your lips… they were.. so soft."

I blush and wait for him to continue.

"I almost lost my will to ask you to stop that night, but I was pretty confused."

I nod and he holds up a hand before I can speak.

"I don't know if I'm gay. That's the honest truth."

His cheeks are flush from the wind as he smiles at me, "But to answer your earlier question… I.. I have thought you belong with me."

I sink my head into my knees as a huge smile erupts on my face. My heart is beating frantically at his confession and happiness is exuding from me. We laugh quietly together as we bashfully peek at one another.

"Jazz…" he shifts position and straddles the log. He lifts my leg over so I can am in the same position facing him.

He pulls from behind my knees to get me closer, our legs creating space, but not much.

"I want to try. You want to try, right?"

I grin and reply breathlessly, "Yes."

He looks at my lips, "Can I get a do-over?"

I laugh, "Like a first kiss mulligan?"

He grins and nods, "Exactly."

I lean in and whisper, "Yes, please."

His hand reaches up and cups my jaw. It traces backward to my neck and pulls me gently closer.

I search his eyes, they sparkle at me as his tongue wet his lips. The sight elicits a moan as I close my eyes and suddenly his mouth is against mine. I gasp softly as his lips massage mine, his tongue gently prods into my mouth. It's warm in the cold air, soft and tender. I find myself lost and struggling to breathe as his head turns and he pushes slightly harder. I moan again and touch my tongue to his. I feel a growl emit from his throat. My body is coiled tight as he grasps my lower lip between his teeth.

"Holy shit, Edward…" I slowly open my eyes and he's smiling at me in wonderment. His hands cup my face tenderly.

He leans in to peck me one more time on the lips. "I might need another mulligan."

I laugh against his lips, "Practice makes perfect."

* * *

**Sigh. :) Everyone on board? Much love, AR**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok! Holy hell, that was a long break. Too long. I apologize. I never intended to have a break that long. I have had to limit my writing due to family time. **

**Also, I wrote a one-shot. Please read it if you feel inclined, "My Pleasure Darlin'" can be found on my profile. I would love you to read it. Sexy, lemony goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Edward rubs his hands together, excitedly "Ok, how do we do this…?"

I laugh spread across my bed after being shoved onto it once we made through the door. "What?"

He gestures between us, "We're going to make out?"

I shrug, smiling, "I guess?" Inside, I'm trembling with adrenaline.

He nods and puts his hands on his hips, "Ok, well I've never done this before."

I gape at him openly, "What do you mean? Yes, you have!"

"Well, yeah, with a girl!"

I sigh out in exasperation and sink into my bed. I close my eyes. I will not say the words, _it's the same thing._ I don't want it to be anything reminiscent to his sessions with Rose. Ech. I want it to be better, I want it to be me. I want him to want _me._

Lost in my thoughts, the bed begins to dip as he crawls over me. I can smell the ocean salt in his hair and my heart beats in excitement as I continue to ignore him.

"Jazz?" He runs his cold nose along my neck and speaks softly in my ear.

I shiver and groan as his lips begin to nibble at my ear. "Fuck…"

I feel him smile as I crane my neck to give him better access. "How do I do this?" He asks again.

I open my eyes and look into his face. He's nervous, but he's not backing down. "You're asking the wrong person… you were my first, second, and third kiss, remember?"

He smiles and blushes at that. His eyes blink up to mine, slightly darkened. "I think I like that."

I smile back, his body hovering over me and I want to pull him down to feel all the contours of his body against mine. Instead, I carefully push my hand up into his hair to bring his lips to mine. His eyes flutter closed as I lay soft kisses along his bottom lip. I watch his serene face carefully as I continue a slow, sensual assault upon him. His breathing becomes ragged as I make my way along his jaw line. I kiss at his throat when I see his Adam's apple move as he takes a long swallow. He lets out a long, beautiful groan when I lightly bite at his neck.

His eyes shoot open and look down upon me in adoration. I smile as his chest lightly heaves. "Damn…" he whispers before letting his hips fall and weigh down onto mine.

Instantly, I feel his erection digging hard into me and my body arches in response to the lust that flares inside me. Instinctually, I grasp his belt loops and pull him into me harder, needing the almost painful friction against my cock.

He gasps as he watches me and rolls his hips, focusing on my response. When I let out a sweet whimper, his eyes alight in amazement.

"God, Jazz…so beautiful." I swallow down the intense emotion that prickles behind my eyes at his words and silently lean into him for a kiss.

He devours me. He falls to his elbows while his hands clench into my curls, holding my head in place. His lips move slowly, but his tongue drives into my mouth, tasting and flicking against my own. He continues to rock against me and I break the kiss to release a punctuated groan.

I feel his breath on face as I bite my lip. I spread my legs further and he thrusts against me harder. I arch again.

"It's good?" He asks breathlessly.

I nod and swallow, "So fucking good."

"Yeah, me too." The harsh texture of my jeans is rubbing up and down my length. All I can think about is that this is Edward, on top of me, pushing into me with his own desire, finally. He's as breathless as I am.

"Fuck… Jazz?"

I look up at him, his hair falling into his face as he licks lips and his forehead creases.

"I'm close. I'm… fuck I'm... gonna cum already…"

His words pump desire through my veins and I instantly grab lower, clutching his ass in my hands and pulling him against me.

He gasps and leans his forehead against mine. We breathe each other in as we work closer and closer to the climax. His skin on me, his hands in my hair, his soft grunts when I push back into him, it all rushes to my orgasm.

I tense and let out a soft whine, "Ugh…Edward…god…." I'm still coming when his hips hold still and hard against mine and he stiffens above me. His hands painfully grip me as I watch his beautiful face contort when his orgasm overtakes him.

His eyes gaze lazily at me as he settles back down upon me. His head falls onto my chest, his face nuzzling into my sternum. I smile into his hair and inhale his wonderful scent.

"Damn…" he murmurs. I laugh languidly and push my hand through his bronze locks.

He looks up at me, curiously. "What the fuck was _that_?"

I laugh harder and rejoice in the satisfied flush on his cheekbones. He smiles shyly and cuddles into my neck, "Mmmm…Jasper."

I shiver at hearing him say my name. He smiles down on me cockily, "Mulligan?"

* * *

Satisfied and relaxed, we talk and laugh on my bed about odd things. It's reassuring to know that our friendship is exactly the same as it always has been.

His head close to mine, nudges playfully as holds my hand between us.

When we grow quiet, I ask, "What…happens tomorrow?" _At school... With our friends... With our parents…_

He turns to look me in the eye, his brows scrunched with concern. "I'm not sure I'm ready… to be out with everyone yet…"

I nod.

He licks his lips, "I mean… am I gay? Am I bi? It's just all… kinda crazy right now…"

I nod again and offer him a small smile.

"Maybe it's just you…?" He smiles and looks at me in question.

"Just me?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm not really attracted to any other guys… I don't think," he looks like he's searching through his mind.

"Don't think too hard, I'm ok with you only liking me," I tease.

He laughs and nuzzles his forehead into mine, "You're ok with being my little secret, for now?"

I nod and kiss the bridge of his nose, "For now."

* * *

When his mother calls asking where he is, he says goodbye.

It's a long kiss goodbye, reluctant to leave and growing in yearning until he finally shakes his head clear and smiles shyly.

The giddiness of our budding relationship lingers over me through the night. It's hard to believe things are falling into place.

There's a light knock on my door.

"Come in."

My dad peeks in and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "Hey, haven't seen much of you today? What's going on?"

I sit up against my pillows and shrug. "I had some things to clear up with Edward," I can't possibly stop the smile on my face.

He looks at me intriguingly, returning my smile, "Does that mean what I think it means?"

I blush and shake my head, "I dunno. It's early. Please don't say anything to him."

He zips his lips and nods, "Got it."

He looks at me for a moment, quiet, fatherly. "What?" I finally ask.

He shakes his head, "It's really nice to see you so happy, Jay."

I resist the eye roll and smile shyly, "Thanks, Dad."

He grabs the door handle but before he leaves he tells, "Jay, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me." He smiles, "Besides your mother," he adds. "I will always love you no matter what."

I feel tears prickle and swallow hard, nodding I choke out, "Thanks, Dad. I love you too."

He smiles, wishes me a goodnight and shuts my door.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Brown chicken, brown cow.

I jump out of bed in anticipation to see Edward. I expect to sit around to wait for him, but he drives up to my house earlier than expected also.

I jog to the warm car and slide in. "Hey," I smile at him.

"Hey good lookin'," he replies and I blush with a soft laugh.

He leans closer, his eyes scanning the road, "Can I kiss you good morning?"

I don't even look around, "God, yes."

He smiles wider and leans in slowly. My breath hitches when he softly presses his mouth to mine. His tongue brushes lightly between my lips and release a sigh. He presses one, two, three delicate pecks and leans back.

The fog lifts and I smile at him. "Damn…" he whispers.

His grabs my hand, "We'd better get on the road before we skip school and make out all day."

His other hand adjusts the erection pressing against his jeans and I feel flush. He winks and we're off.

* * *

Alice's eyes light when she sees me. I'm not even touching Edward, in fact I made sure to keep a respectable distance, but her eyes glance between us rapidly.

Edward leans in toward me, lick his lips, and whispers, "I'll see you at lunch."

I nod, staring at his moist lips which break out into a smile. He laughs softly and walks to his locker.

Dazed, Alice grabs me by the arm and drags me to my own locker.

"Spill it, Jay."

* * *

At lunch, he sits next to me instead of across from me. His entire leg pressed the length of mine. He looks happy, smiling and joking with Alice. She is delighted and understands Edward's hesitancy to come out yet.

I'm finding it hard already to keep my hands to myself when he obviously is crossing some of his own boundary lines. Secretly touching me, winking as I pass in the hallway with a knowing smile, and his comfortable demeanor around Alice, what are my boundaries?

And this is day one. Holy hell.

I clear my head in time to hear Alice say, "Jessica is having a party tomorrow night. I think her parents bought some beer and left town."

I blink at her, she looks between us, "She invited us. All three of us."

I've never been to a party. I've never had a beer. No ones ever invited me anywhere.

Edward nods, "Cool, we should go."

I gape at him, "Um… not really my scene." I look to Alice.

She shrugs, "I've never been. I'd like to check it out, I guess."

I nod, apprehensively. Edward nudges me, "It'll be fun. Jessica's parents have a hot tub too."

I cringe, "There's no way, I could handle being around you in public with swim trunks on. Not after…" Alice leans in curiously and I blush.

He laughs proudly, "It'll still be fun."

Alice claps giddily and I grimace, nodding.

* * *

Our books are out across his bed, but we haven't stopped kissing since he caught me running my pen across my bottom lip.

He's running his tongue lightly beneath my ear and I feel like I could cum from that alone.

I whimper and he laughs quietly. "Why haven't we done this before?"

"You tell me," I respond quietly, my brain cloudy.

He props up on his elbows above me, "I'm sorry it took me so long."

I blink up at him, he's serious. "I'm not." His eyebrow arches curiously. "It's all been perfect." He smiles as I continue. "You're my best friend and now you're my…" I pause. Do I say it? Too soon? My mind blanks.

"Boyfriend?" Edward asks, seemingly calm.

I shrug at him and he looks up in thought. "That's so weird." He smiles down at me. "I'm you're boyfriend. You're my boyfriend."

I feel my smile beam up at him and nod shyly. He reaches and brushes a hand through my curls by my face. "I've always noticed you, you know?"

I shake my head and listen intently.

He looks over my face quietly. "Even on your first day of school. There's always been something so… intriguing about you."

"When I saw you at that concert," he continues, "I knew it was like…my chance to talk to you."

I pull my arms around his body and absorb his warmth. We're quiet, watching each other.

"You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pickup line."

"What?" I laugh at him, confused.

He kisses me softly, "I have an arsenal of pickup lines I will be dispensing on you."

I shake my head, "Why? I'm right here. You're laying on top of me for Christ's sake."

"In my past life I was a blanket, may I lay on top of you?" He winks.

I shrug, "I don't know, are you just going to lay there?"

His eyes flare with challenge and his lips attack my neck as his hands tickle my sides.

I laugh and struggle. My heart is full.

* * *

**:) Next chapter, the party and more! Much love, AR**


	11. Chapter 11

**You guys are so fuckin' awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the incredible reviews. Thank you for giving the story a chance if you didn't think you would like it, thank you for recommending it to other authors, thank you for reading it at work or in class, and seriously AMAZEBALLS. :) And I love hearing that "I am the bomb." Brings me back to middle school days. I have much love for you guys.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_From Chapter Ten:_

_I shrug, "I don't know, are you just going to lay there?"_

_His eyes flare with challenge and his lips attack my neck as his hands tickle my sides._

_I laugh and struggle. My heart is full._

* * *

When I get home late in the evening, I wave to my dad in the living room and head to my room.

I still have some reading to do before bed since…well, since we spent most of our time kissing and grinding on each other. I smile to myself.

I drop my backpack onto my bed, noticing a brown paper bag on my desk.

A sticky note attached to the front reads: _Please be safe. Love, Dad_

I peer curiously into the bag and let out a shocked breath. I pull out a small bottle. _Astroglide?_ I quickly drop it back into the bag onto a large box of condoms. I'm alone in my room and I can still feel my ears burning. I cringe thinking of my father purchasing these things for me.

I throw the bag into my nightstand and sit on my bed. _Oh my god…_I rub my hands over my face.

I start to laugh softly and shake my head in disbelief. I will not be telling Edward about this anytime soon. I will die of mortification. It is an… incredible gesture seeing as I don't really have the means to purchase those things myself, or privately for that matter. My dad is… way too cool about this. _How did I get so fuckin' lucky?_

My phone vibrates in my pocket.

Edward: **I miss you. **

I smile. _How did I get so fuckin' lucky?_

* * *

T-shirt of the evening: Too Err is Human, To Arr is Pirate

I pull on a long-sleeved button up shirt over my tee as I head down the stairs. School went by quickly with Edward mercilessly teasing me and dropping a few of his pick up lines.

_I slide into the passenger seat of his Volvo and smile at him. _

"_Is it hot in here or is it just you?" He leans in to kiss me. I laugh and roll my eyes as I press my lips to his._

He's on his way to pick me up for the party. A newspaper ruffles as my dad peers at me from the couch.

"Where you headed?"

I gulp and clear my throat. "I'm going to hang out with Edward." _Well, it's the truth…_

He looks me over as if he knows I'm omitting something. I'm a terrible lair. I stand stiffly, peering back at him.

"Be safe," he tells me sternly.

_Not that again. _I feel my face flush and nod.

* * *

"It'll be fun, don't be nervous," he squeezes my hand in his lap as he drives us to Jessica's house.

I nod. "Are you…planning on drinking tonight?" I ask nervously.

His head turns toward me, "I was going to have a beer, I guess. Why?"

I bite my lip and start to bounce my leg. "Uh…I…I just wanted to know how I'm going to get home later…"

His brow creases, "What do you mean? I'm not going to get drunk…"

I nod, "I, I know." I sigh. "I guess…I'd rather ride with someone completely sober. I don't want to risk getting into…any trouble."

I see his jaw clench. He releases my hand to put both on the wheel. I try not to let it hurt me.

He nods stiffly, "Ok, I won't drink."

I scratch the back of my neck, "It's just… my dad's been super cool about everything. I don't want to screw anything up when he's been like really cool about…me and us and all the time I'm not at home."

His body goes rigid. "What do you mean 'us'? He knows? You told him?"

_Oh shit._

I blink at him, he looks at me in a mixture of confusion and anger.

"No, he kinda guessed," I reply softly.

His eyes widen, "Guessed? Like we're being completely obvious?"

I rush to answer him, "No Edward, it's ok. He's totally cool about it. I asked him not to say anything. He even bought us condoms and lube!" _I did not mean to say that._

His mouth is open, gaping as he stares at the road ahead. "What?!"

I close my mouth and look out the window.

I hear him let out an astonished laugh and see him shake his head from the corner of my eye. "Goddamn…" he sighs out.

I feel wretched.

* * *

We're quiet for the duration of the short ride to Jessica's house. Cars line her long driveway, all of them recognizable from the high school parking lot.

We get out and he starts walking toward the house, I follow behind slowly. Suddenly, this is the last place I want to be.

The door opens as we reach it and our classmates cheer upon seeing Edward enter. He smiles and manly half-hugs are exchanged with other jocks. Emmett high-fives him and pulls him in for a thump on the back.

Emmett sees me and smiles genuinely, "Hey, New Kid!"

I salute to Emmett and avoid the gazes of the other popular kids. They're all holding red plastic cups that I assume contain beer and chat animatedly. I lose Edward in the crowd and try to push down the hurt I feel at his abandonment.

I stand against a wall and attempt to disappear amongst them. I shove my hands into my pockets and chew on my lip.

"Hey Jay," Alice appears at my side. I can feel the anguish rush out of me upon seeing her. I smile and sigh, relieved.

"Hey," I whisper as she hands me a soda can.

"You okay?" Her eyes examine my face.

I nod slightly, "Yeah, we had a small…disagreement on the way here."

She nods, but doesn't ask anything else about it. She winks at me, "He'll get over it, I'm sure."

I nod back, "God, I'm glad you're here."

She beams at me, "Me too, Mister."

* * *

Alice stays by my side and we fall into easy conversation as always. I see a flash of Edward through the crowd and he's nodding as Mike Newton talks endlessly in his ear.

I can see a soda can in his hand and smile with a small amount of relief. When I glance up at his face, he's staring back at me. His expression is unreadable, his eyes darkened. He sends me a discreet wink and holds up his can in solidarity.

I nod and tip my can toward him, nervously.

* * *

Later into the evening, Alice leaves my side to use the restroom. I check my phone to see I've missed a text message.

Edward: **If you were a booger, I'd pick you first**.

I start to laugh and look up and find him smiling in my direction. I shake my head, _gross._

He shrugs back at me happily.

"Jasper!" A female voice startles me.

It's Jessica in a very tight shirt. At her short height, I can see well down into her cleavage. I shove my phone in my pocket.

She touches my arm, "So glad you came!"

I nod and offer a small smile, "Thanks for the invite."

"Did you want a beer?" She looks at the can in my hand. "I can go get you one," she points toward the kitchen.

I shake my head, "No, I'm good. Thanks."

Jessica nods, "I like your shirt!" She begins to squeeze up my arm. I feel my body jump at her unexpected prodding, but she doesn't seem to notice. "It really brings out your eyes."

She takes a step closer, examining my face while pushing her chest into my forearm. I gulp nervously.

"Thanks," I choke out.

Jessica laughs, "God, you're so polite… and so funny!" She laughs almost manically and I'm momentarily confused by what's happening.

I blink at her and start to laugh at her outrageous behavior. _She's flirting with me, right?_

She continues to giggle and then her hand plays with the scooped collar of her shirt, bringing my eyes back down to her chest. _Why am I falling into this? She really knows what she's doing, Christ._

I look away quickly and clear my throat. She steps closer again with a knowing smile. I've obviously misinterpreted myself in this situation.

I attempt to lean back against the wall as her tongue licks across her lips. Her mouth opens to say something when someone bumps into me.

"Hey," Edward interrupts.

I look to him helplessly, "Hey."

"Hi Edward," Jessica smiles at him while leaning in close to me.

"Jess," he nods. He looks at me expectantly. "We should probably head out. Curfew and all."

I look at my watch, and nod rapidly, "Yeah, it's that time."

Jessica's face drops, "Really? So soon?"

I give a sad smile, "Yeah."

"Well, maybe we can hang out sometime like…after school or something. It was really fun talking with you!"

_Oh, save me. _"Yeah, maybe…sometime…" I let my sentence hang and she smiles at me.

I say goodbye to Alice and leave the house quickly. Edward slipped out a head of me to avoid all the questions from his buddies about his early departure.

He's in the driveway waiting for me.

He looks so handsome as the sun sets behind him. His hair glows like a flame and his eyes seem to sparkle when they reach mine.

I offer him a smile because I'm unsure of what he's thinking.

We walk side by side to the car. He doesn't say anything as he pulls out of the driveway. I assume he's bringing me home, but he's headed in the wrong direction. Soon, I realize we're headed to an overlook by the reservation.

I'm growing anxious by the silence between us.

He shuts down the car and leans back into his seat. He is quiet when he speaks, "You said once that you'd never been with a girl and you didn't know if you wanted to try it?"

I stare at him, "I lied. I don't like girls at all. I just said that to get a rise out of you."

He turns to me, "You're sure? You don't want to… go out with Jessica?"

I practically snort, "No, absolutely not."

"You were staring at her boobs."

I sigh, "She was pushing them in them in face. If I looked at her at all, it would seem like I was staring at her chest. I'm not used…to be anyone flirting with me." I admit to the window.

"They're starting to notice you." I look to him and he smiles at me. "It's going to be hard to see all these chicks realizing how gorgeous you are."

I shake my head, "Whatever, they're just using me to get closer to you."

He scoffs, "You don't know, do you?"

I meet his eyes and he reaches over toward me. "Jasper, you are so beautiful." His hand brushes down my cheek and I feel my breath stall.

"I thought I was going to explode in jealousy," he admits. "I've never felt that way before."

I swallow hard, "There's no reason to feel that way."

He leans in kisses me softly. I groan and open my mouth to him. His hand tightens around the back of my neck and his warm tongue wraps around mine.

He breathes heavily as I pull on his arm, trying to get him closer to me.

"Mmmmm, fuck. Can we go in the backseat?" He pants out.

I nod, eagerly. I crawl through the middle as he gets out of the car and comes through the back door. I land in a pile as he quickly crawls on top of me, attacking my mouth again. I moan and pull him tighter.

"She was touching you," he growls as his lips attack my neck.

I squeeze my eyes shut and thrust up into his hips. "I didn't want it," I gasp to him.

His fingers are under my shirt, running up my ribs. It feels exquisite. His thumbs simultaneously rub against my nipples. "Ugh, god Edward," my cock strains painfully.

"I want this off," he demands, struggling with my shirts. I pant as I pull them off quickly. His mouth is back onto mine while his hands squeeze my torso and explore my subtle muscles.

He breathes harshly above me as he reaches over his head and yanks off his polo.

I run a hand over the light smattering of hair of his defined chest. He arches into my hand.

His warm skins absorbs into mine as he kisses at my chest. "You were laughing with her."

I cough out a chuckle, "She was acting like a psycho, laughing at me when I didn't say anything."

He smiles against my chest and snickers lightly. He runs his bottom lip along my nipples eliciting a surprised gasp from me. I look down and his dark green eyes meet mine.

"Watch," he whispers. I gape at him as his light pink tongue peeks out and flicks my nipple.

My hips jerk and I bite my lip with a moan.

He smiles evilly, his lips closing over the small bud with a little suction. I throw my head back, "Oh god, Edward."

He kisses across to the other side of my chest, leaving my other nipple hardened in the chilled air.

This time, his tongue runs a tight circle around the bid as he stares at me.

I let out a frustrated breath and pull his face to mine. His mouth opens and I plunge my tongue. My hands tangle into his hair, gripping roughly.

He grunts into my mouth while pushing his hips into mine.

I fall back panting as he rolls into me over and over. My hands rest on his hips, relishing in the motion.

"This is what you want," he pants, staring intensely down at me.

I nod, "You, I only want you."

His eyes roll back as he strains to hold himself up.

He stops and sits up, his hands at his jeans. I look up expectantly, excited.

He was once unsure and now smiles at me. He asks for confirmation and I nod, staring at his waist. He unbuttons his pants and drags the zipper down. His boxers push out as his erection drives forward as he pushes his jeans down his thighs.

The hole in his boxers peeks open with his straining length. A wet spot appears on the side where his erection was trapped.

I lick my lips patiently and hear him groan. I feel flush as I watch his thumbs slowly run under the elastic band.

I look up at him to see him watching me closely. "I want to see it. Please." I beg.

He pulls his boxers down and I groan at the sight of his beautiful cock. It strains toward me, long and painfully hard. It's moist from pre-come and flush. It's perfect. _It's the most beautiful cock I've ever seen._

He laughs softly, his cheeks flush.

"You too?" He asks, looking down at my length pushing against my jeans.

I nod and unbutton quickly. I lift my hips and push all the material down at once.

He gawks at me while he slowly strokes himself. "Fuck, that thing is huge Jazz."

I blush below him and wrap my hand around my own length.

He leans over me, bringing us closer again. "I want to feel it on mine," he whispers.

"Fuck, yeah." I moan and move my hand out of the way.

He's gasping into my mouth as he fists us both into his hand. My hands clutch at his strong bare ass. I can feel the muscles in his backside as he pushes his length against mine.

He sucks at my collarbone, his thrusts becoming faster, our come pre-come mixing and creating slick stokes.

"This is mine," he groans.

His possessiveness flares desire in me. "Yours," I grunt.

"This body…. This cock…" he squeezes us harder and I whimper. So close. "This boy… You're mine." His mouth absorbs my long groan as I come. His cock against mine brushes the head over and over, pulling more come from me.

"Goddamn it, Jasper," he whines and arches. His jaw clenches as his cock twitches and come spurts onto my chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he pants as his cock pulses.

He grabs a shirt and places it on my stomach before allowing his body to drop onto mine.

I enjoy his body weighing down onto me as our breathing returns to normal in the humid car.

He looks up at me, his eyes heavy and sparkling.

I smile down at him and run my hand through his hair. He closes his eyes at the sensation.

"I should get you home before you are late for curfew," he murmurs sadly.

I nod disappointed, "Yeah."

He sits up and picks up his polo, his lip curls as he grimaces. He clears his throat, "Well, that's not going to work." It's wet with patches of our dried cum.

I laugh and he laughs too. "You can wear one of mine."

He wiggles his eyebrows at me, "Thank you sweetheart."

* * *

After we extract ourselves from the backseat and return to our fully-clothed positions, we freeze when headlights fill the car from behind us.

Edward starts the car and blasts the defrost to clear the steamy windows. We hear crunching and a tap on the window.

Edward rolls down his window.

"Hello there," a cop leans into the window, beaming a flashlight into our faces.

"Good evening sir," Edward replies, squinting.

"Where you boys coming from?"

"We were at a friend's house sir."

The cop nods, his eyes moving throughout the vehicle. He looks at me for a long time, "I'll need to see your identification, please."

Edward's hips lift as he retrieves his license from his wallet in his back pocket.

"You have an ID son?" He looks to me.

"No sir, not yet. I'm only 17 right now."

He nods and beams his flashlight onto Edward's driver's license.

"You boys been drinking tonight?"

"No, sir!" Edward replies proudly. I struggle to hold back a laugh.

"Drugs?"

"Nope," Edward shakes his head.

"Edward Masen? You play football?"

"I did. It's my senior year."

The cop smiles at him, "You had a helluva season."

"Thank you, sir." Edward chews his bottom lip.

"Alright boys, you get on out of here before it gets too late. Deer are out, drive slow and be safe."

"Will do!" Edward buckles his seatbelt.

The cop tips his hat, "Have a good night."

Edward rolls up his window, snorts and whispers to me, "Oh, we did."

* * *

**See you soon! Much love, AR**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey there!**

**I am so glad to have a completed update for you guys!**

**Here's a little bit of a timeline for you in case it's gotten a little confusing/lost in the chapters:**

Edward's football season- August to November

J and E see each other at the concert- September

Edward's birthday/E breaks up with R- end of October

Edward talk to parents about college intentions/ Edward and Jasper first kiss – November

Jessica's Party-mid December

Christmas vacation starts December 23rd

Prom- February

**Yes, eventually there will be a prom chapter. :)**

**Also, I reread some of my chapters and realized there's been a few mistakes, I apologize. No one's called me on it, so thanks! It all starts to blend together after I've read it too many times. **

**The reviews have been so wonderful. I remember I was at review number 199 and now I'm almost at 300! Thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**Now Chapter 12, please enjoy! Grrrr..owl.**

* * *

The schoolwork starts to ramp up as we approach Christmas break. Teachers rush to give final exams before the end of the second quarter and slam us with extra assignments. My brain feels full.

Edward and I quickly discovered that we need to study separately to get anything done, so… that sucks and limits our time together. Except for the morning car ride kiss and an occasional rushed make out session before my dad gets home from work, I haven't been able to touch him.

I can feel my body ache, just looking at him in class, at lunch, passing in the halls. My intense stares seem to elicit a similar response from him. I'm often met with a sexy, knowing grin before I shake my head to clear my mind of lustful intentions and fantasies.

My phone vibrates with a text message: **I know I'm not a grocery item, but I can tell you're checking me out.**

I laugh quietly and he sends me a small wink across the library.

_Goddamn, I can't wait for Christmas break._

* * *

T-shirt of the day: What would MacGyver do?

We're released early from class for a Christmas concert assembly in the auditorium.

Edward walks slowly toward the back of the crowd, I slow to walk with him. I watch him glance up and down the hall quickly before he pulls my arm and leads me down a different hallway.

"Edward?"

He shushes me and grins, "Just follow me…please."

I nod, like I could have said no.

He rushes us down some other empty hallways before we're stopped short by a fellow senior and major stoner named Tyler Crowley.

"Hey guys," His red eyes peek at us through droopy eyes, "Sneaking out for a j?"

Edward drops my arm, I look back at Tyler confused._ A what? Ohh…a joint..._

Edwards smiles at me, "Yeah, something like that… cover us?"

Taylor nods, sends us a sloppy smile and continues on his way. "No problem, see ya."

Edward snatches my hand again and I'm soon lost in parts of the school I didn't know existed.

"Where are we…?"

"In an old part of the original school," he pulls me through a door and closes it behind us.

"How did you know about this place…?"

He pushes me against the door. "Doesn't matter… Jazz, please." His mouth covers mine and I'm silenced instantly.

His body presses tightly against mine and I pull at his belt loops. His tongue flicks against mine, his teeth gently bite at my lower lip. I moan, pressing back greedily taking all he can give me, asking for more.

"You can have to stop looking at me like that…" he pants into my open mouth.

I blush and smile, nodding. I pull his face back to mine. "Sorry…" Not really sorry at all.

He growls, rolling his hips into mine. "You look at me like you're picturing me naked. It drives me fucking crazy." He punctuates his sentences with a thrust and I throw my head back.

He attacks my open neck, grinding his hard cock into mine mercilessly as I pant out.

"Fuck, Edward…" He nips at my skin, his strong hands lifting my ass, rocking us against the door.

"I need you to touch me, please," he begs against my skin.

I nod frantically, "Yeah, yeah."

He breathes heavily, struggling with his belt buckle. He looks up at me as his jeans drop and I see his cock strain against the fabric of his boxers.

"Please," he looks into my eyes as his palms rest against the door on either side of my head.

I lean forward to capture his lips as I slide my hands underneath the elastic.

His moans fill my mouth as I clutch him. I stoke him lightly with one hand as the other cups his balls.

"Oh god Jazz," he leans his head on my shoulder, his brow creased in pleasure.

He yanks the underwear down and now I can see him in his entirety. The lighting is better here than in his car and I can't rip my eyes away from the sight of my hands stroking his hot, hard flesh.

My thumb rubs over the head, collecting beads of pre-cum and spreading it. His hips thrust instinctually.

He pants in warm breaths as he searches my face. "Please baby, please…you make me feel so good…"

His lust is intense. I know he just wants to cum. It's what I want too. He just wants me to bring him pleasure. I feel so much power in what I'm doing to him. He can hardly keep his eyes open as I stroke back up toward the head.

"I want to suck it," I state boldly.

His eyes shoot open and his breathing grows more ragged. "What…fuck Jazz. You don't have to…"

I smile, "I know, I want to."

He crashed his lips on mine, "Yes, please baby."

I nod, wrapping my tongue around his briefly.

I push him back lightly and lift his shirt. He lets me pull it up and off of him. His hands return to the door, bracing.

My hands travel down his chest and goose bumps appear along his skin. His cock twitches, his eyes darkening as he watches my movements.

I drop to my knees and look up at him. He licks his lips, "Goddamn it Jasper, I'm gonna cum just… seeing you down there."

I blush harder, my cheeks already flush with excitement.

I swallow down some nervousness. Suddenly, I feel a little apprehensive with his cock staring me in the face.

His hand strokes down my cheek, "Baby?"

I look back at him as I grasp the base his cock in my right hand. Staring into his eyes, I peek out my tongue and lick the head.

He lets out a strangled gasp, his abs fluttering as his body jerks toward my mouth.

The taste is salty, the smell strong, but not unpleasant. My own cock strains as I take him deeper into my mouth. His groans only spur on my own aching need. I adjust my trapped cock's position with my left hand.

Edward pants above me, "Yeah Jazz, let me see it please."

I look up at him question and realize what he's asking.

I pull off of him and hurriedly unbutton my pants, shoving my underwear under my balls.

I suck him back into my mouth as I stroke my cock in strong movements.

He is raining gorgeous sounds down upon me as he watches me pull as much of his cock into my mouth as I can and jerk off in time.

"So fuckin' perfect, Jazz... God, it's so fuckin' good."

His legs strain to hold his hips still as I pump him in and out of my mouth. The muscles of his thighs and his lower abdominals flex as he approaches his orgasm.

"I love watching you touch yourself too baby," he breathes out.

His scent becoming stronger as his body warms and a light sheen is forming at his brow. My cock swells in my hand.

His lip is trapped between his teeth as his face contorts in a pleasurable pain.

He stares down at me, "I want to see you come first."

I pull off and pant as I stroke myself faster. "Goddamn…" he whispers as my brow creases and I feel my orgasm fast approaching. I suck him into my mouth again and moan as my cock spurts out long streams of cum onto my hand and the floor.

The vibrations from my groans and the sight of my orgasm cause Edward to throw his head back.

"Gonna cum!" He grunts out quickly and I use my hand to stroke the base, propelling him into pleasure. "So good, so good…" he chants.

I swallow him, mostly because I didn't know what else I was going to do once he started coming. It's not easy, very foreign to me, but I swallow it all.

His hand pounds on the door behind me as he roars, his head leaning tiredly against the door.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." His eyes open and peer at me in exhausted amazement.

I blush as I look at the mess all around me. Two spent cocks, clothes shoved down, and cum on the floor. I pull his underwear up bashfully.

He chuckles at me and yanks me into a standing position. I smile back at his happy face. It looks like love staring at me, I want him to say it so bad. Say it, Edward. Say it.

"Thank you," he whispers and kisses me gently.

I nod and fall into his soft kiss.

* * *

Alices huffs annoyed. "Just say it, Jay."

She drove us to a small coffee shop in a nearby town after our last day of the term. Alice is headed out of town tomorrow with her family for Christmas and we won't see each other much of this break. She's sipping her double-shot of whatever while I shake my straw around my empty Italian soda.

I look about the shop again. Track lighting, local artist's work, pretentious barista in thick black glasses, I clear my throat embarrassed.

"Um…. I think Edward… shaves…"

My eyes tick up to hers. Her eyebrow arches from over her mug and she tries to hold back a smile. I twist a napkin in my hand.

"Ok…." she waits for me to continue.

I swallow and sigh, "Do I need to shave?"

She sets down her mug and crosses her hands. "Are you asking me if you need to shave your pubic hair?"

I lay my forehead on the table. _Did she have to say it out loud?_ "Yes," I speak to the floor.

I can hear her soft laughter. "Well… I think that anyone can appreciate a little grooming in the nether regions."

I rest my head on my hands and look up at her, slightly mortified.

She smiles down at me, "Don't use a razor or it will look like herpes city. Find a beard trimmer or something like that."

I laugh at her and grumble, "Thank you, Obi-wan."

"You're welcome, young Jedi."

I quickly change the subject. "I made you something." I reach into my bag and hand her a card.

She smiles, "Aw… Thanks Jay!" It's not much, a handmade card and a small drawing. I sketched out a small landscape of Paris in pencil. She fawns over it and I'm happy to see she likes it.

She kisses my cheek and hands me a card too.

I look at her suspiciously as I rip it open. Two tickets fall out. West Coast Misfits.

"Alice…"

"It's for you and Edward to go. The concert's a few days after Christmas. It'll be like a first date thing."

I gape at the tickets. "That is so….awesome." I pout at her. "Thank you Ally."

"Merry Christmas, Jay," she winks at me.

"Merry Christmas, Alice," I bump her with my foot.

* * *

I pull a pillow over my head to block out the sun. I could care less what time it is. It's Christmas eve, my first day of vacation and I'll get up whenever I want. My dad keeps popping his head in to remind me of the time.

"Jasper, it's almost 11:00. Time to get up."

"No," I mumble and pull the covers up. I can picture him shaking his head as he leaves.

I hear my door open again soon after and ignore it. "No," I mumble again through the blankets.

I hear a laugh and I know its Edward. I laugh too, but don't move.

The bed dips as he crawls over to me.

"Anybody in there?" He talks into my blankets, prodding at the lumps.

"Hey!" I jump as he squeezes my butt and chuckles.

He pulls down the blanket, smiling at me. He is freshly showered, bright and beautiful. I feel like the opposite as I blink up at him, groggy.

He wiggles his eyebrows at me, "Your dad must have been a baker 'cause you've got a nice set of buns."

I groan and roll my eyes, "No more, please."

"You love it," he accuses as he nuzzles behind my ear, his lips making my heart flutter.

"I love you," I whisper without a chance to stop myself.

He freezes at my collarbone and my eyes shoot open as I realize what I just blurted out.

He clears his throat to start to say something when there's a knock on the door.

It cracks open, "Everyone decent?" My dad asks.

Edward doesn't move off my bed, but lifts his head and looks into my face, concealing his thoughts.

I feel a ping of sadness weigh down on my heart. "Yeah, we're decent," I croak out.

My door opens fully and my dad takes in the sight of my boyfriend lying on my bed beside me. He's over the covers thankfully.

"As much as I support you two in this relationship, I need to be a responsible adult and ask for you guys to keep this door open."

I feel my face flush and Edward nods.

My dad smiles, "Edward's welcome to join us for dinner tonight. We're going out for Chinese."

He leaves the door open and Edward turns back to me. "Chinese on Christmas eve…like that movie?"

I nod, "It's always been our tradition."

He laughs and turns serious. "I can't. But that doesn't mean I don't want to."

_He can't come tonight. He can't say it. Yet… right?_

I nod and he kisses me softly.

He smiles evilly, "Now, let's make like fabric softener and Snuggle."

* * *

**Concert and more coming up! Much love, AR**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey there! **

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Here's the concert. Enjoy!**

* * *

T-shirt of the night: I'm with the band.

Sweat slides down my temple while my shirt starts to stick to my chest and back as we are well halfway through the show.

Edward and I arrived to the concert venue early to secure our place toward the front of the stage. The band came out with a "Great to see so many old friends," and we've been banging into other crowd-goers on the outside of the mosh pit since.

The lights of the stage reflect off of Edward's hair, now clumping together with perspiration, he smiles at me.

He nods his head toward the far side of the club and I follow.

He wipes his forehead on his arm and whispers in my ear, "I'm gonna get us some water."

I nod as the band starts up again, ending any verbal conversation.

I watch from the stage side and fan my shirt away from my skin to cool down. It's less crowded over here, a nice reprieve from the humid masses in the shadows beneath the upper level.

His arm circles my waist pulling me against him while his other hand presents a plastic cup of ice water in front of me.

"Hey beautiful," he whispers into my ear, his lips brushing against my neck.

I smile shyly, taking the cup. The refreshing water is gone quickly as Edward continues a slow assault down my neck with his lips. I lean my body back into his and his hands tighten around my waist. His warm body is hard against mine, his cock lengthening against my hips.

He holds me there, bouncing on his feet behind me to the music as we continue to watch the show. I don't know if I've ever felt this happy. The two of us wrapped up in each other, enjoying what we love.

We haven't spent too much together with the holidays and we still haven't talked about the fact that I blurted out "I love you," and only received a surprised, panicked look. The concert has been the perfect opportunity to reconnect and spend time together uninterrupted.

He takes the empty cup from me and pops a few ice cubes in his mouth before he hands it back.

A cold kiss at the base of my ear makes me gasp, craning my neck for him. He drags the ice cube through his lips down to my shoulder. The sensation makes me tense and arch back into him at the same time. I feel more than hear the deep vibration rumble in him as he pushes his hips back into me. He is grinding against my lower back while sliding the ice cube across my hot skin.

I quickly and discreetly adjust my own erection, tucking it to the side. He detects my movement and allows his hand to brush down across it.

"Fuck," I gasp out and he smiles against me, the ice cube finally gone and melted.

He grabs the cup from my hand and whispers to me, "I'm going to get us more water, you look a little flush."

I send him a scowl and he winks as he saunters to the bar. I push back my hair and release a long breath, calming my cloudy head. The band has declared they are on their last song, but I know they'll return for the encore.

Edward is gone for a considerable amount of time before he returns with two cups. I look up at him expectantly with a dimpled smile, but his expression is guarded. He thrusts the cup at me and faces the stage.

I blink at him, confused. I touch his elbow, "What's wrong?" I ask close to him.

He slowly retracts his arm from my touch, his body turning away slightly. "I ran into Angela Weber at the bar."

_Oh…_

Some of our classmates are here. We never expected people we might know being here. It's out of town, an unknown band in a small club.

I get it. But that doesn't stop the lump from forming in my throat. It doesn't stop the sharp disappointment from erasing any joy in me.

He faces the stage again and I lean sadly against a pillar to my left, allowing more space between us.

I don't clap when the audience fires up for the encore, I just exist there for now. I eventually see Angela with a few friends in the crowd. She waves to me and I offer a salute and a small smile. She's a sweet girl, she wouldn't care. I know she wouldn't.

But here I stand, hiding myself, hating myself a little. I'm not in love with this boy Angela, we're just friends…

* * *

He's driving us home in the dark. The lights of his dash and CD player illuminate a soft blue color into the car. I haven't said anything to him yet as I stare out the window, seeing nothing in the dark trees we pass.

He clears his throat, "You're upset."

_Yes._

No, more like I'm sad, I can feel a slight hollowness. I'm sad enough that I can't shake it. Even after the band's encore, after we collected our jackets and headed back to his car.

"I'm okay," I reply to the window.

He lets out a sigh, "You said you could give me some time, you-"

"I know!" I interrupt. "Just… give me a second. I'll be fine." I rub my hand over my face.

_I didn't expect it to hurt so much…_

His hand touches my leg and I wrap my hand in his. We give each other a sad smile and his hand squeezes lightly, comforting.

* * *

When we arrive at his house, his family sleeps as we make our way to his bedroom.

I had already spoken with my dad about the concert and sleeping over at Edward's. After he deduced that Edward's parents had little knowledge about our new relationship, I sat through a long, mortifying lecture on safe sex and how 'love makes sex more meaningful Jasper.'

With the door closed, I reach for my overnight bag and use his bathroom. I brush my teeth and change into my sleepwear. The excitement I had felt all day about the moment we would alone has been decimated.

When I come out of the bathroom, he is changed as well sitting nervously on his bed.

He stands up quickly, "Hey…"

I send him a small smile, "Hey…"

He looks at me for a long moment before he opens his arms, "Come here."

I drop my bag and walk into his embrace. His arms wrap around me tightly and I instantly feel my body unwind. He lays us down, pulls the covers over us while I bury my face into his neck. His hand holds my head close to his body and runs through my hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tucking my leg between his.

"Me too," I reply into the crook of his neck.

The warmth surrounding me and the comfort of his body against mine along with the eased tension of the evening lulls me to sleep.

* * *

I'm startled awake, lost as to where I am in a dark room.

I let out a calming breath, I'm in Edward's room and in his bed. I blink around, a clock blaring red numbers and I'm snuggled against the side of his warm body.

He's facing me, asleep. He must have taken his shirt off at some point, I can see his bare shoulders beneath the sheet.

I admire him for a minute. My eyes adjust to the soft light from the moon.

My thoughts return to the last time I watched him sleep. I secretly desired him. But, technically he is mine now. It may be secret, but he is mine.

I quietly pull off my own shirt, careful not to jostle the bed. Reaching down, I pull the sheet from his chest slowly.

I rake my eyes over his skin as it is revealed to me. I watch his face as I drag my fingers across his pecs, skimming his nipple, and continuing down his abs. I run a finger through the hair leading into his pajama pants.

His eyes flutter open and he emits a low moan as his gaze meets mine. He smiles wickedly.

My breath is pushed out me as he tackles me onto my back. I let out a soft laugh as his body rest down upon mine. "Gotcha," he winks.

I shake my head at him, smiling. He wiggles his eyebrows at me, "Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."

I roll my eyes in fake irritation, "Oh god."

He laughs and attacks me. His tongue drives into my mouth, taking me by surprise. I moan and his mouth presses hard into mine and his hands travel over my naked torso.

They tug down my pajama pants and boxers at the same time. I lift my hips to help. He kisses down my throat, pushing the clothing down my legs.

When he sits back, I'm naked before him. He runs his hands up my thighs on either side of my throbbing cock, squeezing my hips. The look in his eyes as they absorb every inch of my skin makes me arch into him.

He smiles and lays a kiss near my belly button. I breathe down on him and watch his thumbs hook into his pajama pants.

Once he's naked, he's hovering over me. His mouth caresses mine, but I'm distracted by the head of his cock trailing along my skin.

When I grab it and stroke it, he groans into my mouth and pushes his tongue deeper into my mouth.

He arches suddenly, disconnecting our mouths. "Fuck Jazz, that feels so good…"

He reaches into his nightstand, buried deep in the back, he pulls out a small tube of lube.

He sits up, breaking our connection and stares down at me. He pours some of the clear liquid in his hand and strokes himself. He's watching me pant below him.

He leans down, hovering, but makes no contact with me. "I can't wait to make love to you," he states boldly.

I don't hold back my surprise at the statement. It causes my cock to twitch.

"I've imagined being inside you when I touch myself."

I close my eyes at his words and palm my own erection, "Yeah."

"I've never come so hard in life as when I think about you beneath me Jasper."

"Fuck," I sob out and grit my teeth.

Somehow I don't think he would be so brazen if it weren't the middle of the night. But that doesn't mean I'm put off. Quite the contrary, hearing him expel some of these unspoken desires is fueling me closer to my own climax.

Knowing he's thought of me naked, touched himself, thought of fucking me, it makes my skin flush and my adrenaline race.

I want it now. We're not ready in the least, but I want it. Soon.

I pull his face to mine and devour him. His hand speeds up, stroking his flesh quickly. We look down and watch together. The head of his cock peeks out of his fist with each pass, his breathing becoming harsher.

I lean up and whisper into his ear, "I want you to come on me."

He lets out a punctuated breath and nods, "Yeah, yeah."

I lick my lips, "I need to feel you come on me."

His face contorts, his eyes squeezing shut, "Fuck Jazz, god baby…."

He begins panting, his eyes open, "God, I love your body, baby. Thank you, baby."

His mouth open in a silent cry and I look down to see come shoot from his cock. He slows his strokes, his body tense as his orgasm continues to course through him.

He rests his head on my collarbone as he slows his breaths. I run my hand through his hair.

He looks up at me, smiling. "That was so fucking good." He kisses me softly.

I moan into his mouth, the back of his hand trails up and down my painfully hard cock. He reaches lower and cups my balls, tugging lightly and I cry out quietly. I'm so close.

He swiped his tongue over my nipple quickly before his face is down and close to my erection.

I sit up on my elbows, chest heaving. "It's not going to take too long."

He smiles and winks, "I'll take whatever you can give me, baby."

His mouth is on me quickly and he's pulling me into his mouth, my hips bounce off the mattress.

He stares at me as his hands hold down my hips and my cock slides between his lips. The wet warmth, the beautiful vision of Edward's lips around me, I'm propelled quickly into my orgasm.

I throw back my head and hold his in my hands, "Jesus fucking Christ Edward!"

He pulls off, "Shhhh baby, you gotta be quiet."

I nod and watch his tongue reach out and flick across the head. Over and over.

"Please, I'm so close…" He engulfs me again and makes two pulls before I'm coming.

I muffle my expletives into a pillow over my face as he pumps me with his hand, all my come spurting into his mouth.

When I move the pillow away, he's smiling at me from above. "Welcome back."

I smile at him, exhausted. "Mmmm."

He cleans me up and we redress. I get situated with a pillow and blanket on his couch in case his parents walk in his room in the morning. I'm fairly positive that there's no way I could stay in bed with him without burying into his side or pulling him to spoon over me.

He looks at me from his bed with a frown, I offer a small smile. His eyes become heavier and close. I watch him fall into a deep sleep and whisper silently, "Goodnight, I love you."

* * *

**Poor Jasper. Angst will lead to good things. Much love, AR**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello!**

**This is a little bit of a shorter chapter. **

**Things are going to get a little heated up for these boys in the next couple chapters. **

**The story itself is a lot longer than I thought it would originally be! My estimate is another 3-4 chapters will finish it up!**

**I have already found inspiration for another J/E story this week (different from this story) and I've been mulling it over in my brain. So more to come! :)**

**Thank you for the support! I love writing for you guys. Enjoy!**

* * *

T-shirt of the day: The Dude Abides

Winter break is passing quickly as Edward and I do nothing really. We hang out at my house, we hang out at his house. We steal time for kissing and touching when our parents aren't around.

Edward's college application is due in a week, so he buckles down to add some finishing touches at my desk while I make small drawings of nonsense in my sketchpad on my bed.

I hold my pencil between my hands and clear my throat, "Um, so…"

He turns from the computer to listen, lightly smiling. When I don't say anything he responds, "What was that?"

I lick my lips and try again, "Um… so next Monday…" I look up at him intently, "my dad is going to be gone on business…for the night."

He looks at me passively before a small, charming smile spreads on his face. "Really?"

I nod, returning to my sketch.

He stands from my chair and slowly walks to the bedside, I stare down as he begins to hover over me.

"What were you hoping might happen on the night that your dad is going to be gone on business….for the night?"

He sinks into the bed beside me and I feel my face flush. I shrug and bite my lip.

He laughs softly, brushing his lips close to my ear. "You haven't thought about it much then…?"

I try my best to offer no expression to him as I face him, "Nope, no plans."

He's smiling knowingly, looking me over with interest, "You are such a liar." He pushes the sketchpad away and attacks my ribcage.

"No, no, no!" I yell out as he relentlessly tickles me. He settles on top me, both of us laughing.

"Admit it."

I let out a harsh breath, "Fine. I admit it."

He leans down into my face and whispers, "Say it."

I swallow a nervous lump as he stares into my eyes, his own darkening. "I want….you to… make love to me," I whisper back.

He rests his forehead against mine and we smile at each other. His hips shift on mine and I feel his hardness pushing against me.

He kisses me softly, "I want that too."

* * *

Later that night, he claps his hands while standing in front of my bed. "So, how do we do it?"

I lay down my book and look up at him confused.

It's all very reminiscent of our first make out session. I sigh, "You're asking the wrong person, I've never done it. Remember?"

His hands on his hips, he regards me with confusion, "You don't know how it works?"

I roll my eyes, "Watching porn and having sex are two different things."

I glance at the open door to make sure my father is not close by. He glances that way too and closes the door until one inch of space is left. It's technically open. I laugh at him and he nods proudly.

"So," he continues more quietly, "We watch porn. Do some research." I feel my face heat up. He smiles and winks, "Someone once taught me that good preparation is a key to success." He's talking about his parents and the college application, but all I can think about is him stretching me with his fingers, preparing me for his cock.

I nod, blushing. "That is true." _He has no idea, does he?_

He sits on the bed close to me while I pick at the comforter. "So you've never had….anal sex then?"

His own cheeks flush and he clears his throat, "No."

"How many girls have you slept with?" A knot forms in my stomach.

He stares me in the eye and grimaces. "Should we really be talking about that?"

"Is it a lot?" I bite on my thumbnail. _Why am I asking? Do I really want to know?_

"No, but… I feel like this conversation will just make us both feel crappy."

"Are they all girls at our school?"

He sighs and closes his eyes. He looks at me, "I won't lie to you if you really want to know, but I don't think you really want to know. Right?"

I nod and run my hand through my hair. He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, his head close to mine, "Jasper, I want to be with you." I look up into his face, "I feel right when I'm with you. So much that is scares the shit out of me, okay? Let's let all that other stuff go. It doesn't matter."

I smile at him and lean against his shoulder, "Alright."

He kisses the side of my head. "So porn it is!" He says excitedly.

* * *

"Everything alright, Jasper?"

I snap my head up to meet my dad's concerned face. He caught me dazed and distracted, thinking about tomorrow night. The night Edward stays over.

"Uh, yeah. I'm good."

He nods and picks up a noodle with his fork. "I don't know if you remember that I'll out of town tomorrow night."

He watches me carefully as he chews. I try to act surprised, "Oh yeah. Yeah, thanks for the reminder." I spear a noodle, nonchalantly.

He's smiling. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

I slump in my chair.

"I'm not going to push Edward to talk to his parents before he's ready. And I know if you guys really want to… have intercourse then you'll find a way."

I slap my hands over my face and groan in embarrassment.

He touches my arm, I look at him through my hands, "Just be careful. Not just physically, please use protection, but…sex is an emotional commitment too Jasper. I've told you this all before, but…just make sure you're ready."

I nod and drink my milk, my face hot.

_Am I ready? Maybe this is what I've been so spacey about, subconsciously. Physically, I could never deny my intense attraction to Edward. But can I stand the ache I feel in my chest? Can I go through with it if he won't return a simple sentiment? I'm sure he's said those same words to girls he didn't really love. So why, when it feels so right, why won't he say them to me? _

"Is Edward coming over tonight?" My dad asks, catching me distracted again.

I shake my head, "No, I'm going over to his house after dinner if that's ok."

He nods to me. _Tonight is research night._

* * *

When I get to Edward's, he ushers me to his room. "They're watching a movie, so we should be good." _We won't be interrupted_.

His computer is on and he looks at me expectantly.

I push away my emotional musings and sit down. He pulls up another chair beside me after he's locked the door.

He turns the computer's volume low as I start typing in a familiar address.

He smiles at me and I blush under his scrutiny. I click on the pair of boys.

Edward watches the screen intently, "Is this what you always watch?"

I click on a video, "Pretty much."

The two boys, one blond, one brunette are in a sixty-nine position. They hum and groan as they pull each other's cocks into their mouths. I watch Edward's jaw drop as he stares at the screen.

"This isn't the right video, I have to find it."

Edward nods, "It kind of looks like us."

I blush and search through their other videos, "Hmmm, I never noticed."

From the corner of my eye, I see Edward turn to me and smile, leaning in close. He kisses at my neck, knowingly.

I laugh and click, "This is the one."

The blond is on his back, his ass on edge of a bed. The brunette stands between his spread legs, massaging lube between his fingers. His hands work in time, one stroking the blond's cock while his other hand massages the blond's entrance.

The blond writhes and moans beneath him, his hips rolling . The brunette watches his face as one of his fingers sink into the blond's body. "Yeah, you like that baby."

The blond gasps and nods, pushing his ass onto the other man's fingers.

The camera zooms in on the blond's hairless ass, his lover's digits pumping in and out of his body.

The brunette scissors and continuously adds more fingers as his lover requests.

"Are you ready for me, baby?" The brunette huffs out.

The blond nods again, "Fuck yes, fuck me baby."

We watch the brunette add lubricant to his straining cock. He positions at the blond's entrance and slowly makes his way inside.

The blond arches, his teeth clenching, panting, "Fuck yeah."

After the blond is able to accommodate the brunette's large cock, they begin to move in hard, fast movements. The brunette's hips slap against the blond, a resounding clap with each thrust.

They slow and change positions. They continue to fuck in different ways, prolonging their session. Ten minutes into the video, the blond comes as he pumps his cock while being fucked from behind. The brunette pulls out and strokes his own as the blond situates on his knees. Soon, come is shooting onto the blond's face and lips as his lover releases expletives.

The video ends and I sit back, blinking. I'm painfully hard.

Edward slumps back too and looks down into his lap. His cock strains against his jeans.

"Wow."

I let out a short laugh, "Yeah."

"I wanna do that with you," he states. "Well, I mean, I want to do some that with you."

I laugh.

"I don't want to come on your face," he reiterates and I laugh again.

"Well, not yet anyway." He squints at me.

I run my hands through my hair, shaking my head.

He grabs my elbow, "I want it to be good... and.. sweet. You know?"

I nod and he kisses me. My eyes close as his tongue enters my mouth. He tastes so damn good. I moan and push back into him. His hands weave into my hair, I pull him to me by his shirt.

"It's going to be so good," he murmurs against my lips.

I nod, "Yeah."

He straddles me and pulls out our erections. His hand is passing over both at the same time. I'm so worked up already that I know I won't last long. He watches my face as I feel my orgasm approach.

"Edward," I whisper out, almost painfully.

"Come for me, Jasper." I arch off the chair, lifting him as my cock begins to pulse.

My head thrown back, I bite my lip and breath heavily, trying my damndest to be quiet.

"That is so hot, Jazz," I hear Edward say harshly as his hips tense and his come mixes with mine. I open my eyes to see Edward's face contorted in pleasure, his hand pumping us slowly.

He rests his head against my shoulder, regaining his normal breathing.

He looks up at me with hooded eyes and smiles cockily, "Tomorrow's going to be awesome."

I laugh at him and run a hand through his chaotic hair. He kisses my wrist.

_Am I ready? How could I not be ready? This boy is all I'll ever want._

* * *

**The next chapter: the boys' night alone. Much love, AR**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here we are! It's arrived! Mild angst and some boy loving. Thank you! Enjoy!**

* * *

My dad left mid-day on Monday with a warning glance aimed at me. I smiled shyly and bid him goodbye.

Edward had texted me in the morning to tell me that we were going out for dinner. It felt like a date, but I didn't elude to that in my response back. I knew he was trying to make the night special, trying to add some romance in his own way.

When he picked me up, he was freshly showered. His hair lightly styled into place, his cologne wafting toward me as he stood in the doorway. His casual clothes replaced with a button up shirt, dark wash jeans, and his letterman jacket.

I swallow down my pooling saliva at the sight of him. He winks and sends me a grin, "May I come in?"

I blush, stepping aside.

I am pressed against the door, as it slams behind me with our combined weight.

His hands dive into my hair and his lips attack mine. I reach for his waist, pulling him closer as my hands spread across his back.

He moans and changes his position again. My brain is foggy and I'm struggling under his intense demands for access to my mouth. I pull away and pant, regaining my breath. His lips move down my neck and back up to my ear.

My hips buck into hips when his tongue brushes the outer shell. I can hear the smile in his voice, "You must know karate, cause you're body is kickin'."

All the tension leaves me as I let out a laugh and roll my eyes. He smiles facing me, his cheeks flush and his eyes sparkling. He offers me a few more small, light kisses that make my heart feel light.

He winks at me, stepping back and examining me, "It looks like someone molested you."

I shake my head and blantantly adjust my erection, "Yeah, feels like it too."

I walk past him to gather my jacket as he watches me closely.

I, too have attempted to look nice for tonight. Instead of one of my typical t-shirts, I threw on a black long-sleeved thermal shirt with my cleanest jeans and favorite boots. I run my hand through my hair in the mirror, Edward's actions having disshelved it into chaos.

He comes up behind me, looking at my reflection darkly over my shoulder. His hands rest on my hips as he whispers in my ear, "You look amazing."

I blush and pat it down, smiling at him. His hands run along my ribs, traveling along my abs, "This shirt's a little tight, don't you think?"

I let out a short laugh, "I thought you would like it."

He nods, kissing at the back of my neck, "Oh, I do." His hips push his erection into my ass. I close my eyes close at the feeling and melt back into him. His arms wrap around my torso, squeezing my lightly. It feels so good, wrapped up in Edward.

His nose inhales buried in my hair, "Let's get out of here." I nod. _Or we'll end up staying in._

* * *

He holds my hand in the car, kissing at my knuckles occasionally. We send each other bashful smiles through the ride. The tension the last few days leading us to this night has been palpable. The excitement in my gut makes feel like I'm vibrating.

* * *

He takes me to small out-of-town restaurant. It's nice, not overly romantic, but it feels good to be here. The two of us.

We don't touch or kiss after exiting the car. I understand. Well, I try to understand.

We order quickly, I'm assuming we're both thinking the same thing. We have to get back. Soon. Why are we eating again?

I lean on to the tabletop, "So, you're parents know you're staying over?"

He smiles and nods, "Yeah, well, they know I'm at your place."

My cheeks flush again, he continues, leaning in, "They don't know..."

I smile giddily at him and joke, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

His eyebrows rise as he laughs, "Oh really, so you haven't thought much about tonight?"

I shake my head at him, "Is there something going on? New episode of Real housewives?"

His jaw drops, "Oh, Jasper..." His eyes narrow and I laugh at him. He leans in more seriously, "I can't wait to get you home and nak-"

"Hey guys!" We're startled by a booming voice. Emmett's in front of our table and by his side, holding his hand... Rosalie.

I suddenly realize how close we are and Edward must too because he's very quick to add space between us.

I swallow down some ache in my chest as I blink up at Emmett. He smiles and jokes, "On a date?" Rosalie stares at me and back to Edward again.

I lean back in my chair slowly as Edward laughs nervously, "Just gettin' some food. What are you guys doing here?"

Emmett smiles at Rose behind him, "We're celebrating our almost two-month anniversary." Rose laughs and shakes her head, tugging at him lightly.

Emmett looks between us, "Hey, you guys look really nice, all dressed up. What's the occasion?" Rose tugs harder, toward the exit.

Edward shrugs and shakes his head, speechless I presume. I cross my arms and send Emmett a small smile when he looks at me confused. They are almost out the door when he waves, "Alright, well I guess we're outta here. See you around guys!" I salute stiffly. Edward calls back, "Yup, see ya!"

He turns to me slowly as I chew on my lip. _Fuck, I hate this._

"Jasper..."

The food arrives and talking ends.

* * *

We're back in the car quickly. Neither of us had much of an appetite, so we collect the food in take out containers and Edward pays the bill.

I lean back in my seat and gaze at nothing out the window.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers to me in the silent car.

I close my eyes, "Me too."

He parks on the street outside my house and sheepishly follows me inside.

I put my food in the fridge and flop onto the couch. He follows my movements, sitting in a chair across from me.

He runs his hands through his hair, leaning his elbows on his knees, "Fuck."

I rest my head against the couch, looking up to the ceiling. I'm not sure how to move forward from here. I can tell he's looking at me, waiting.

He throws his jacket off and crawls across the floor to me. He kneels in front of me, between my legs. He rests his head in my lap, his arms reaching around my waist. "Please Jazz."

I look down at him. His eyes are closed as he squeezes me tighter, "Let's just... be us now. Please."

We seem so sad, I hate it. I brush a hand over his hair and he nuzzles into my leg. "Please."

"Ok," I croak out, my throat tight.

He blinks up at me. So beautiful. My boy. He pushes himself up to face me and I offer him a small smile.

"I don't want to keep hurting you."

I nod, "It's hard to hide it. It feels so good when... you love someone."

I watch him swallow hard, his eyes examining me closely. "You know..."

I smile, "Yeah, I know." He loves me.

He leans in slowly, his forehead resting against mine. I tilt my face and our lips connect. He lets me set the pace, pushing the kiss deeper. His soft lips make me ache. His taste is addicting. My hands push into his hair and he groans. I pull him to me, his hands bracing on my thighs, my tongue searching into his mouth.

"My room," I moan between kisses. He nods, getting to his feet, but never leaving my mouth.

He pulls me up from the couch, his hands cradle my face for a moment as he smiles down sweetly at me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you?"

He nods quickly, "Oh yeah." I laugh and grab his hand.

I close my door behind us, suddenly nervous. I lick my lips as he looks at me smiling.

"Can I leave your desk light on?"

His question surprises me and I nod, "Yeah."

"I want to see you. All of you."

I gulp and he reaches for me. "Come here, my beautiful boy."

He kisses me again, his finger lifting the hem of my shirt. His palms drag up my torso until his thumbs brush my nipples. "Uhhhh...god," I moan out. He silently requests me to lift my arms and throws my shirt off somewhere.

His hands run up my neck, pulling me back and reconnecting our kiss.

I rest my hands on my forearms as he fumbles with my belt buckle. He pushes my jeans off the curve of my ass and they fall to the ground with a thud.

He moves back and allows me to step out of them. I smile at him before I begin unbuttoning his shirt starting at his throat. He watches me as I examine the skin revealed with each movement downward.

I push it from his shoulders and yank at his jeans. We're standing face to face in our boxer briefs. There is no denying the blantant desire between us as our cocks strain against cotton. He steps forward and lifts me, his hands squeezing my ass, forcing my legs around his waist. The movement of his cock against mine cause me to gasp as he walks us to the bed.

He lays me down, hovering. His finger trails down my chest, to my belly button. I feel goosebumps spread across my skin. He looks up at me as his lips kiss the light blond hair traveling down into my boxers.

I watch, mouth agape. His fingertips curls under the elastic and begin pulling the fabric down slowly. His lips follow the movement as he reveals my erection. He lays kisses along my cock to my balls. He pauses to kiss each, "Fuck, Edward." My hips buck into his face and he smiles against my leg. He yanks my underwear all the down my legs and pulls my socks off too.

He stand before me, examining my naked body. I'm sure I'm flush, my chest heaving as my cock strains and leaking slightly. His eyes darken at the sight.

He quickly rids himself of his own boxers and socks. As he crawls toward me, my eye are drawn to his erection bobbing between his legs. I swallow down the desire coursing through me.

"Where's the stuff?" He whispers.

I lift my head and point to my nightstand. "In the back of the drawer."

As he reaches into the drawer, I allow my eyes to roam over his hard form. His athletic body, beautiful and unblemished. I watch muscles move under his skin as he collects the items. When I run my hand down his body, he smiles at me.

He kisses me again. "Tell me if anything hurts too much, promise?"

I nod, running my fingers down his chest. "Promise," I reply shukily. A growl erupts from his chest and licks down my neck.

He grabs my hands, holding them over my head as his tongue circles my nipple. I arch off the bed, "Edward..." He sucks it into his mouth and I fight against his restaining hands. But he has too much leverage and it's useless. He moves to my other nipple and assaults it the same. My cock, it seeks friction and gets nothing.

His mouth trails down my abs, biting and sucking. Letting go my hands, I weave them into his hair as he descends. He moans as my nails scrape his scalp.

"I'm going to get you ready Jazz."

I nod and he reaches for the lube. I watch him squeeze some onto his fingers and feel the wetness at my entrance. It makes me jolt, but as Edward rubs lightly, it begins to warm, "Oh fuck."

Edward hums in agreement and kisses beside my hard on. As his finger begins to push lightly inside me, he swallows my cock.

My hands clench in his hair reactively as I gasp. His finger pushes deeper to the last knuckle. _Oh god, Edward's finger is inside me._

It feels odd, but not painful. He pushes his single digit in and out of me, I look down at him. He's watching me, my cock between his lips is almost enough to make me cum. "Another," I request.

He nods and breaches me with two fingers. I hiss, but the pain is minimized when his tongue massages the head of my cock. "Ahhhh...god.." I huff out.

He pulls his mouth off and stares down between my legs. "I can't believe you shaved. It looks so fuckin' hot, my fingers..."

I'm panting at his movements. The feeling of movement inside me, so foreign, but so good. "Edward, please."

"More?" He groans out.

I nod furiously.

He adds a third finger from his other hand, sucking at my balls to distract me.

"Ugggghhhh, yeah, yeah," His tongue prods and laps at them.

He hums and the vibration sends a shock through me. "Ok! Alright, I'm ready Edward, please..."

He nods, reaching for a condom. I watch him roll it on to his cock and add more lubricant. He scoots closer between my legs and leans over me.

We breath each other in as his hand guides his cock to my entrance. I bite my lip, anticipating pleasure and pain. He begins to push inside. I clench and he stops. "Oh fuck Jazz. I can't, you can't..."

He reaches down and begins to stroke me. My body relaxes and Edward slips inside to the hilt.

"Holy fuck," he mumbles into my shoulder.

God, that feels so strange.

"So fucking tight, baby. God..."

He leans up over me and rolls his hips. He watches me as he begins to pump in and out of me. His eyes are hooded at the feeling, the look of pleasure that my body is giving him is beautiful.

He flexes and changes position, lifting my ass with his hands and a surge of pleasure runs through me. "Holy shit Edward."

"Did I hit it?" He pants and thrusts again.

"Oh, fuck!" I yell out. "Yeah, yeah you did."

He bites his lips and begins a faster pace, hitting my prostate intermittently. I am becoming a withering mess beneath him, clenching his ass in my hands as his muscles flex with thrusts.

"Jazz, soon. Please tell me your close."

He hits it, my cock swells. "Edward, yeah!"

He roars above me, thrusting faster and harder. His skin slaps against mine, puncutating claps between us. It all adds to the acceleration of my orgasm. I grasp my cock and begin hard strokes.

"Oh, yeah baby," I open my eyes and Edward is watching my hand while his hips continue at a relentless pace. Sweat drips from his brow and he throws his head back when I squeeze him internally. He gasps and moans out, "Jasper!"

Watching him tense and buck against me as his orgasm takes over throws me over the edge.

"Oh god, yeah, yeah Edward!" Come spurts up my chest to my collarbone as my body shakes with intensity. My eyes squeeze shut as I hear him chanting and I can feel my body jolting with his last few thrusts.

I gasp out long breaths as he rests his head against me, panting.

His hands on my thighs push back as he slips from my body. He falls beside me, reaching to hold my hand. "That was incredible," he whispers out between breaths.

I nod against his shoulder. "No kidding."

"I think I'm gay," he blurts.

I start to laugh and he joins me. He happily kisses me.

* * *

**Hmmm...well! I am very curious about what you think! Much love, AR**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello! Well, I had a little more of a break from my last update. I was having a bit of trouble moving forward. I know ultimately what I want in the end, it's been a little bit of a struggle with 'in between.' No worries, I would never abandon a story!**

**Here's your next chapter, enjoy. Oh, and all mistakes at any time are all my fault. :)**

* * *

I'm startled awake when a pair of jeans hit me hard on my bare chest.

I jolt up in my bed, my father standing at the foot of it.

"Both of you, get dressed and meet me downstairs."

I can see Edward beside me in a similar surprised state as my dad makes his way to the bedroom door after a long, stern look. He opens the door and turns back to add, "Ten minutes."

I blink at him and he disappears down the stairs.

Edward falls back onto the bed and sighs . "Fuck."

I look over at him as he runs his hands over face. My stomach drops uncomfortably.

The clock beside reads 7:30am. My dad's home early. Really early.

I fall back too. I stare up at the ceiling. It would have been so nice to wake up in his arms peacefully and happily after our first night together. I can imagine us curled around each other, waking to refeuled desires and making love in the morning light. Instead I'm confronted with the frustration evident in his actions as he flings back the covers to retrieve his clothing while he mutters to himself.

I squeeze my eyes shut and swallow hard. I rub the heels of my palms into my eyes. I could cry in disappointment.

"Jazz..."

It wasn't a mistake, was it? Goddamn it. It felt so right...

"Jazz!"

When I open my eyes, Edward's there by the bed his hands reaching to grasp my shoulders. He's shirtless with his jeans unbuttoned, his hair in disarray.

I sigh and look sorrowfully into his eyes, his brow creases. "Hey..." he replies huskily.

"I'm sorry," I bite my lip.

He leans in close to me, whispering "Stop it. What are you talking about?"

I gulp and shake my head.

"Hey. Come here." He sinks into the bed, gathers me to his chest and rubs his face in my hair.

I push my face against his skin as my arms wrap around him.

"I don't regret anything..." He pauses, "Do you?"

I prop my chin on his chest and look up at him. His green eyes are so clear look ing at me questioningly. I can't stop the smile I feel pulling at my lips. There it is in his face, his undeclared love.

I shake my head slightly, "No."

A grin appears across his face and he squeezes me. "Good." He rolls me over, pining me to the bed. "I could show again... if you were unimpressed..." he jokes, nuzzling behind my ear.

I laugh, "I was impressed, promise."

He smiles down at me, "Damn right." I laugh-

"Two minutes!" My dad's voice booms up the stairs.

Edward's head falls onto my chest and I release an exasperated sigh.

When we make our way downstairs, my father is sitting in an armchair of the living room. He points us toward the couch . Edward and I sit close to each other sheepishly.

I swallow hard thinking of my father's disappointment he must feel toward me. He leans on his knees, rubbing a hand across his forehead. Edward's knee bounces lightly against mine.

He clasps his hands together. "Alright boys, you know that I support your relationship...but I cannot allow..." he clears his throat. "I can't..consciously... allow my house to become a secret escape from Edward's parents." He looks up at us, "I cannot stand by, knowing your ... exploring a physical relationship under my roof while Edward's parents are completely unaware. You understand?"

I nod and Edward looks down at the carpet.

"I'm a pretty cool dad, but.. not that cool." He smiles at us and I chuckle shortly back . Edward is still staring down at the floor.

"Edward," my dad implores him. "I'm sure you're parents would be understanding. I know they love you very much." Edward's jaw is clenched tight as he nods unassured toward my father. I lean my body against his side in support.

"Until Edward's ready, you guys will not be allowed to be alone in Jasper's room. So... get used to hanging out in the living room." We sit quietly before and when no one says anything more, my dad adds, "I'm going to start breakfast when you want to come join me in the kitchen..."

He stands and turns to leave. He stops, his position uncomfortable, "You were safe?"

When his question finally permeates my brain, I feel my cheeks flush and gape at him. Edward coughs and looks up at my father, "Yes sir."

Dad nods and heads to the kitchen.

I bite my lip as Edward and I sit quietly next to each other. He grabs my hand and holds it in his lap. The small connection saves me from the downward spiral my thoughts. I lean my head against his shoulder.

I'm afraid to ask him what he'll do next. I've already put enough pressure on him, I can feel his guilt when we hide from our classmates. When he hurts me, he 's sorry, very genuinely. I can deal with it for now, but not forever.

He's rubbing his fingers over my knuckles, deep in thought. My dad is clanking pots and pans in the kitchen with the radio playing.

He looks over at me and offers me a half-hearted smile. "I'll talk to them soon, okay?"

My eyebrows raise in surprise, "Yeah, okay."

He nods, "I just need to get what I want to say in order..."

I nod in return and kiss his temple.

* * *

We're at the end of Christmas break and he hasn't talked to them. I'm not trying to rush him, but this new living room rule is getting old fast. We're censoring everything we say with my dad around. I've even been band from going to Edward's house, knowing we would easily sneak off into his bedroom. No more sleepovers either.

It's terrible timing. I can't stop thinking of our first night. I can't stop reexperiencing the feeling of him inside me, the look on his face as he slid in deeply . We've been sending dark looks back and forth in anticipation of the next time we can be alone. We try to make do with some heated conversations over the phone as we lay in bed late at night.

_"If I think about it hard enough, I can still feel you around me," he whispers into the phone._

_I moan, stroking my flesh. "Yeah, I can feel you in me. Stretching me..."_

_He huffs into the phone, "Uh huh, yeah.. .it's so...warm and tight. Fuckin' driving me crazy Jazz..."_

_I squeeze more lube into my palm and wrap my hand around my aching cock. "I'm so hard E..." I pant into the phone._

_He whines at my statement, "God, I can't wait to touch you again baby. I wanna try it... from behind."_

_I groan, "Yeah, tell me." I'm so close, my balls tightening._

_"I can picture you on your hands and knees before me. My cock sliding in and out of you, I can see it all. Jazz!" He's close as his ragged breathing indicates. _

_I pump faster, "Yeah, I can feel it. Come baby please! Fuck!" I come all over my hand, slowly extending my pleasure with softer strokes. Edward's come too, I can tell with his slowed pants. _

_"Damn baby, that was good. Not as good as if you were here, but... still.." _

_I smile, "Yeah, I know..."_

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Back in my day, we had nine planets.

Alice hugs me the day we get back to school and I pick her up off her feet easily. She laughs in my ear happily.

"I missed you guys!" She hugs Edward too and loops her arm around mine.

Its the same everwhere we go, same questions. How was your vacation? What'd you do? Anything fun?

Until lunch when Alice asks excitedly, "How was the concert?"

I freeze and look to Edward beside me. He clears his throat and his brow furrows, "It was...fine."

Alice looks at us confused, "Just 'fine'?"

Edward nods, "Umm, yeah. Angela and some of her friends were there, so...made it a little awkward."

Alice looks to me incredulously, "Angela made it awkward?"

I send her a look saying 'I'll tell you later.' Edward shakes his head, "No, I. ..made it awkward, I guess... because she was there."

Understanding comes over Alice's face and she sends us both a sad smile. "Bummer ."

I lean on my chin on my fist and shrug. Edward looks at me while I stir my spoon in my applesauce. "Yeah," he replies.

She clears her throat, "Well... what else happened over break?"

I've been practicing this moment for days now. I try to control my movements and my emotions as I gaze up at her. Her eyes immediately narrow at me and I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

She gasps and her eyes flicker between us. Edward looks up bewildered as she places her palms on the table and leans in.

"Alice..." I warn carefully.

She smiles broadly, "You guys...did it."

I slap my hands over my face when Edward turns to me. "You told her?"

I groan, shaking my head when Alice squeals and claps excitedly.

"No," I mumble back, "She... just knows."

* * *

Edward hasn't brought up the subject of talking to his parents since my dad sat us both down. I feel too much anxiety to ask him about it. He knows how I feel. He knows the tension it's caused us. I just can't help but feel, when is enough... enough? Later in the week, he sneaks me into a school closet. The feeling of his hands on my body, his hand stroking us together makes me pause in rememberance. Of course it felt good, it felt fuckin' great. Then why do I feel so... cheap? I shake the feeling, clear my head and rub at the ache in my chest.

"Prom is coming up. Have you guys thought about it?" Alice pulls out a glittery, prom-planning committee notebook at the lunch table.

I shake my head at her as Edward nods. Prom has been the last thing I've been thinking about.

"You're going, right?" She looks between us. I shrug and Edward nods. Obviously, it hasn't been talked about.

"Jay, you have to go to prom..." She implores me.

"Why?"

"Rite of passage," Edward interjects.

I laugh shortly. "So I have to go some fucking dance...by myself, looking like a loser, because it's a rite of passage?" They are quiet around me.

I pinch at the bridge of my nose.

"You don't have to go alone," Edward whispers to me.

"What, _you're_ going to go with me?" I snap back. His face falls and gives Alice an embarrassed glance.

_Yeah, that's what I thought._

* * *

The rest of that day is filled with quiet tension. Edward stops his car outside of my house, puts in park, but doesn't get out. He hands me a cd case.

"What's this?"

He looks at the case in my hands, "I made for you last night. It's a mix cd of songs that make me think of you."

My heart breaks a little as I look down at it too. "Thank you." He nods. "Do you want to come in and hang out?"

He offers me a sad smile, "Not tonight baby."

My heart breaks a little more. I can't blame him. I've been a jerk the whole day. I lean in nervously, "Can I have kiss, then?"

His face losses some anxiety and his smile is more genuine. He nods and leans in. My eyes close and lips part as his mouth gently meets mine. His tongue brushes lightly and sweetly along my bottom lip. I moan quietly and he adds more pressure. His hand grasps the back of my neck, pulling my body over the console. We groan as our kiss becomes significantly more heated. Our tongues tangle, goddamn it he tastes...ugh god, so fuckin good. My hands brace against his chest in this awkward position, but I really don't care. I can feel the muscles tight beneath the fabric of his shirt. His hand is running through my hair as his ragged breathing fills my mouth. He's biting at my top lip, my body wants to rock into his desperately. I'm ready to crawl into his lap when there's a knock at the window. We break apart gasping in surprise.

My dad offers an uncomfortable smile and opens my door. I lean back in my seat in frustration. I pull my backpack into my lap, concealing my erection.

My head lulls toward Edward, he's flush, running his hand through his hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He nods and offers me a sweet, amused smile.

* * *

"You were a jerk the whole day," Alice chides me over the phone.

I lay on my bed and sigh, "I know..."

"He's not ready Jay, deal with it."

I pick at my comforter, "I'm trying..."

"Try a little harder."

"Okay Alice, I got it."

"Okay," clears her throat, "Now, I wanna talk about prom."

I groan frustrated into the phone.

"Jay, please go. You don't have to go with someone. Just be there with me and Edward. We'll all go stag. I promise it will be fun. People always regret not going to their proms. I've put so much work into the decorating..."

She's rambling. She's using any angle to convince me. I've already decided I'm going.

"-and I can get you a deal on a tux rental from my uncle. I think you would look great in a slim fit, silver tu-"

She pauses, "You're going, aren't you?"

I laugh quietly into the phone, "Yes."

She squeals happily.

* * *

It's later that night, I'm listening to the cd Edward gave me. My heart feels full again with thoughts of him. I open my phone and text him, **Will you be my covert prom date? **

My phone rings almost immediately. His soft voice comes across the line, "You know, I don't want to keep you a secret..."

I gulp, my throat tight. "I know, when you're ready..."

"Thank you...and I'd love to go to prom with you."

* * *

**Thanks for all the support and sticking with me!**

**Much love, AR**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello, hello! Ok! I'm trying for one week updates, but it's not always working. We'll get there!**

**I had some incredible reviews last chapter. Thank. You. So. Much. Stormythomas, ant1gon3, Tia, momkuttler, to name a few. This is the most reviews I've ever gotten, so fucking cool.**

**I guess Jasper's dad is like a parent that I would like to be. I do not have children. I would hope that my child would be comfortable enough to talk to me about their sexuality, I would support their choices, but being protective over them if they were rushing into a physical relationship. **

**That being said, here's some rushing for you...**

**Haha! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Get in the fuckin' house. He's working an hour late tonight." I lock my phone after reading my dad's text message and shove it into my pocket.

Edward slams the car into park and we're running through the door. I hear his belt buckle clanging and shake off my jacket as our feet stomp up the stairs. He slams my bedroom door behind us as his pants drop.

"Lock it," I breathe out and throw my t-shirt to the ground. I jump onto the bed, reaching across it to my nightstand. I rip open my drawer and tear a condom off the long strip and grab the bottle of lubricant. I'm pulled roughly as Edward yanks on my jeans. I laugh, "There still buttoned."

"I'll get it," he replies huskily, licking at my ear, his hands cupping my crotch. I gasp and arch back into him. I can feel his bare chest on my back. His hands fumble around, passing over my erection repeatedly before he finally releases the button.

He growls, kissing the nape of my neck and pulls my jeans off in a one sweep.

I look over my shoulder at him, smiling. Holy fuck, he's completely naked. He winks at me as I gape at him. He takes his cock in hand and I'm frozen as I watch his hand glide over his skin. My body has been on fire for days, heat in my blood. I want him so bad. I've lightened up to the idea of being his secret prom date. Since then we've exchanged many darkened glances. I let my eyes roam down his lean, defined form as bites his bottom lip. He's mine that night, I'm his.

"Hurry," I rasp.

He reaches forward and yanks my boxers off too.

I hear him growl at the sight of my ass and flinch when he bites my left ass cheek. "Like this?"

I nod and thrust against the bed, "Yeah, like this."

It's all happening fast, but I really don't care. I can't stand the urgency pumping through me. He reaches up and takes the lube.

"Fuck, Jazz. I can't wait... lift up for me baby." I reposition on my hands and knees shamelessly and he groans. I gasp lustily and fist my hair when his wet fingers rub against me in circles. I rock slowly against them.

"You're going to kill me," his voice low and sexy.

I open my eyes, look underneath me and see his throbbing cock, jutting from between his kneeling legs behind me. It's beaded with pre-come. His finger breeches me and I begin to pant. "Yes, Edward... please."

He rests his head on my back, his finger moving quickly in and out of me.

"Another," I demand gently.

He nods, squirting more lube into his hand as two fingers enter me. I whine in exquisite ache.

He picks up the condom with his free hand as his fingers continue to stretch me and rips it open between his teeth. He rolls it onto his cock, dripping lube onto it. He rocks into his fist, the same rhythm as his fingers inside me.

"Edward, Jesus. Just fuck me, please."

"Goddammit Jazz," he grits between his teeth. "Yeah." He lines up behind me, the head pushing slowly inside. It hurts a little more this time with less preparation.

"Hold on," I gasp.

He rubs my back, panting, "Sorry baby."

I shake my head to say it's ok. His hand reaches down and strokes me. I arch and his cock slips in deeper.

He growls and stills. "I'm okay," I breathe to him.

He nods and begins small thrusts. His fingers dig into my hips as his hands push and pull me onto his cock. "Fuck... so good," he pants.

His hard cock, moving in long sweeps in and out of me feels exquisite. I lift my head up and look over my shoulder at him, his head thrown back. "Edward, please. I'm good. Fuck me, hurry."

His eyes open and darken as he examines me in front of him. He looks down at his cock, pumping into my ass and grins. "You want me."

I bite my lip and push back against him, "Yeah."

He slams his hips against me, his cock brushing my prostate, I let out a puncutated moan. "You want my cock."

"Yes," I sob. "Please."

He begins pounding into me at a faster rate. I groan continuously as he passes over my spot again and again. I breathe harshly as my body is jolted by his wonderful, harsh thrusts.

His hands move to my shoulders, anchoring me tighter to him. His flesh against mine making resounding claps, his balls intermittenly coming into contact with mine.

"I'm gonna come fast baby, you feel so fuckin' good."

I nod and begin to stroke my aching cock. "Right there, yeah. Right there."

"Jazz, so... tight. Take me baby," he whines.

My balls tighten and I'm there. God, I've been waiting. "Edward, I'm coming!" My whole body tenses and I erupt in a powerful release. My breath stalls, I clench my jaw tightly as pleasure rakes through me.

I'm gasping for breath when Edward slams into me hard and freezes, filling the condom. "Take it baby," he demands through his clenched teeth. He groans, "Thank you, thank you..." He continues with small movements, elongating his orgasm as he murmurs incoherently.

We fall onto the bed. "Jesus fucking Christ," Edward mumbles with his eyes closed as he reaches for me.

"Yeah," I breathe out tiredly. "We gotta get downstairs fast," I remind him.

He nods and I kiss him.

* * *

"How was your day boys?" My dad pops his head into the living room after entering the house. We're spread across the floor with our textbooks and school supplies after dousing with cologne and picking up our discarded clothes.

"Good," I reply to my dad and shrug.

He looks to Edward, "Learn anything new?"

Edward nods with a half-smile, "Yeah."

My dad smiles satisfied and reenters the kitchen. I look to Edward. The intense grin he's giving me makes me blush and roll my eyes.

* * *

**If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.**

I smile at the text and shake my head at his cheesy lines. Of course, I really love it. I look down the hallway to see him peeking at me from his locker. He gives me a casual head nod and I salute back happily.

"Jasper!" I'm startled by a female voice appearing close to me.

Jessica. I blink at her and she leans against the locker beside mine. "Hey Jessica..."

"Hey, so I was thinking of taking up your offer to hang out sometime, maybe this week?" _MY offer? What..._

"Uhhh..." I'm frozen by her abruptness, lacking the ability to make a sentence.

"My parents have a hot tub," she suggests. She must notice my hesitation and adds quietly, "Ask Edward about it. I know that boys...talk." She sends me an innocent, yet sultry smile.

My stomach drops. Edward...and Jessica. Oh god, I feel sick. I swallow harshly.

She sends me a pleased smile, mistaking my inner turmoil with thoughts of her naked. "Let me know what day works for you," she stands up straight, pushing her chest out. "Talk to you later, Jazzy." Her hand brushes my arm as she passes by me down the hall.

Uck. God.

"Hey..." Edward breathes out close to me. I stare into my locker as he watches Jessica leave down the hallway over my shoulder. "What did she want?"

I squeeze my eyes shut at the vision of Edward fucking Jessica and quickly shove a book in my backpack. "She invited me to her house... suggested we use the hot tub." I look up into his face, his eyes widening, his skin paling. "She said you would know what I'm talking about... boy talk." I search his face, he blinks and scratches the back of his neck. "You guys... slept together."

His eyes reach mine and flick down to my shirt. "A long time ago," he replies quietly.

I nod. It shouldn't matter. But it kinda does. At the very least, it makes me feel... gross. I sigh and zip up my bag.

"What did you tell her? About going to her house.."

I shrug, "Nothing, she wants to me to tell her when I can come over."

"But you're not going over there, right?" He steps closer.

"No... But I'm not sure what to say." I can't tell her the truth. I can't tell her I'm with someone. I can't tell her I'm with Edward.

Edward's head perks up, "Tell her your dating Alice." He looks at me proudly for thinking of this solution and I blink back at him.

My jaw tenses as my teeth grind together, holding my anger. "I think I'm living with enough lies, Edward." I slam my locker shut and brush past him to class.

* * *

I stare at the cup in my hand.

"Can I pick out your tux?"

I nod.

"Good, cause I already did."

I offer her a small smile.

"Prom's only a week away, so I reserved it ahead of time."

I glance up at Alice, "Thank you."

She looks at me worriedly. "Jay..."

I nod, "I know." I've been a moody son of a bitch for the last week. I'm fighting Jessica off, Edward has Lauren repeatedly asking him to go to prom with her. I have no idea what he's been saying to her because.. I'm not sure I want to know. It's been tense to say the least, Edward sheepishly following me around. My father gives me the same worried look that Alice is giving me.

She rotates her coffee drink between her hands as I rub my forehead. I'm tired. I look out the window at people walking along the shops.

"You're so close, Jay."

God, I'm tired of waiting. Tired of hearing the same shit all the time. I cross my arms and turn to her. "Close to what, Alice?" She seems slightly surprised by my harsh tone. "Close to the end? To the beginning?"

She looks at me blankly. I throw my arm out for an explanantion, "So I just keep letting him fuck me?" I poke at my chest angrily,"I just...stomp down all my feelings because I know he can't say it back?"

"Jay, you know that he loves you."

I shake my head, I'm being such a little bitch. "It's just hard to be patient when... all this crap is thrown at me."

She offers me a small smile and I smile back.

She sips from her cup, "Things will fall into place."

I laugh at Alice's cryptic statements. "Thanks, Miss Cleo." I bump her foot under the table.

She bumps me back and smiles broadly, "Ya mon."

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Meh.

Jessica is waiting at my locker this morning. Edward bumps me with his elbow as he heads to his own, offering me a small smile. It's been chaste kisses for us during all the high tension.

"Hey Jessica," I greet her softly and she smiles happily.

"Hey Jasper." I work on my combo and throw my jacket into my locker.

"Does tonight work?" She looks at me expectantly.

I shake my head, "I'm working out with Edward tonight." She nods sadly and I sigh. "Look Jessica... I can't come over. At all."

Her eyebrows raise, "Can't or don't want to...?"

I grimace, "Both... no offense."

She blinks and nods. "I was hoping...you might ask me to prom," she admits.

God, I am not used to being in this situation. I look to my right and see Edward watching us intently. I take a small step toward her, "I don't think I'm your type Jessica."

She looks up into my eyes and a small flicker of realization hits her. She lets out a exasperated huff, "Oh thank god! I thought I was losing my touch."

I let out a short laugh at her reaction. She leans in, "Does Edward know...?"

I want to laugh in her face, but I nod lightly. "Yeah, he's cool with it." _Especially when he's fucking me, his brain turned to mush. Not thinking about you or any other girl he's ever slept with._

"That's so cool," she smiles and abruptly hugs me. "Alright, well... I'll see you around Jasper."

"Bye Jess."

* * *

I stretch in front of my pool lane, arching my torso and rolling my shoulders. Edward is quiet beside me, watching me.

He suggested we swim this morning and it feels like the perfect remedy to relieve some of the tension between us.

"Ready?" I ask and he nods. I move my googles down from my forehead and dive into the pool. We swim side by side, our strokes in time. We push each other, chase to keep up. Lap after lap, we continue until my timer lights up. We pant at the wall, leaning against the lane dividers.

"I told Jessica I was gay this morning." His eyes pop open. "She doesn't know anything else. But you should know that I told her."

He brushes a hand through his wet hair, "What did she say?" He breathes out.

I shrug, "Nothing, really. She seemed relieved to know why I wasn't interested in her." I close my eyes, "Sometimes, I think people just want honesty."

At the realization of my words, I look to Edward, his face fallen. "I didn't mean it like that." He nods sadly. I grab his arm, "I didn't."

"But you're right."

I swallow and he brushes a hand over my dripping curls, "Soon," he murmurs to himself.

He smiles at me and winks, pulling me out of the pool. "C'mon beautiful, let's get you outta those wet clothes."

And with that, I can wait. A little bit longer. This boy is everything I'll ever want.

* * *

**Thank you! Much love, AR**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here I am! Here we go!**

**I was rereading through the reviews for the last chapter, god you guys make me laugh. I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the lemon last chapter. I wasn't pushing to say that Jasper likes it rough (though that may be true), more to show that the boys are getting more and more desperate in finding the time to unleash their teenage hormones. I promise to try to work a few more creative boy scenes. :)**

**Thanks for all the amazing support!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

T-shirt of the day: Dear math, I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

I get a lot of stares in the hallway for the week. I guess Jessica spread the news relatively quickly. I'm not overly concerned about it. No one's even said a word to me. In fact, Jessica continues to hang around my locker and rattles on about things I can't claim to know anything about. It's not the type of rattling I'm used to with Alice, but it's nice to know that my confession hasn't had any negative impact. For now, I guess.

"Jessica!" Alice blurts at her, silencing the endless chatter. Jessica, beside my locker, looks wide-eyed at the interruption. Alice leans across from the opposite side, "He's not that kind of gay guy. Kay? He doesn't know anything about your mermaid sweetheart asymmetrical organza satin prom dress. Go get your own gay best friend." Jessica looks at me and I stare at Alice, surprised by her outburst. I look to Jessica and shrug innocently.

She pouts, "Well, I wasn't even talking to you, _Alice_." She flips her hair over her shoulder,"I gotta get to class anyways..." She ignores Alice, "See you later Jazzy."

I cringe inwardly. "Bye Jess."

Alice glares at her back. "Beat it, fruit fly..." she murmurs.

I chuckle at her, "What did you say?"

Alice props her hand on her hip sassily, "She's a total fruit fly." I shake my head, still confused. Alice rolls her eyes, "You have got to catch up on your gay slang. Fruit fly: a chick who continues to hang around a guy who she knows is gay."

"And...you're not a fruit fly?" I tease Alice.

Alice huffs, "No, I am not. I don't wanna... get up in your business." She eyes me, seemingly put-off.

I wink at her and offer a dashing, dimpled smile. "You're sure?" I ask low, leaning close.

She reddens and pushes at my shoulder. "Stop it." We laugh at each other.

Edward rushes up beside me. "Hey, what's up?"

I straighten, admiring his profile. "Well, Alice was telling me that Jessica is a fruit fly."

Edward looks to Alice and nods. "Yeah, totally."

I scoff and gape at Edward. _How in the world would he know that?_ Alice sends me a pointed look. "Alright, alright." I grab a book from my locker. "I'll work on it."

* * *

"I know a guy you could bring to prom." Jessica states, smacking her gum at our lunch table. I freeze, staring at her. She shrugs, "I know it's short notice, but you never know, I could ask him for you."

I keep my gaze from drifting to Edward in case I make my helplessness completely obvious to everyone. I clear my throat, "Uh, what?"

Jess smiles and leans in close, "Jacob Black, that super hot football player from the rez. I heard he's gay too."

I know that name. Edward scoffs, "Ugh, Jacob Black, he's such a douchebag." _Jealous much, Edward?_

Jessica's jaw drops, "No, he's not!"

Edward cocks his head at me, "Yes, he is."

"Whatever Edward. Jazzy, he's not a douchebag."

Edward mouths the word 'douchebag' to me from behind Jessica and I laugh. "Uh, thanks Jess, but I... don't need any help."

Her eyes widen, "You have a date?"

My breath stalls and I feel Edward's eyes boring into me. Alice is uncharacteristically quiet beside me. "Uh...we'll see, I guess." My stomach clenches. Edward knows I hate to lie, loathe it. I'm not going to hide myself anymore. I won't be the one to out him, but there's no way I'm stepping backward.

* * *

"I like girls, you know." Mike startles me out of our pre-calc assignment.

I blink at him, "Yeah, I know Mike."

He looks relieved, "Oh, okay." He nods.

I look down at the paper awkwardly to continue our problems, but pause in reflection. I turn to him again calmly, "Uh, for the record Mike, I don't find you attractive."

He gapes at me and I offer a small smile before I continue with the handout.

He slumps in his seat, seemingly offended and continues his work.

My phone buzzes, I read it as the teacher steps out of the room.

**If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes. **I smile and chuckle softly, Edward's in bio. What a dork.

"Who's that?" Mike tries to peer at my phone.

I lock the screen and tuck it back into my pocket. "My boyfriend." He gapes stupefied and reddens, returning to his paper.

* * *

Jessica is almost immediately at my locker between classes. "You have a boyfriend?! Why didn't you tell me?"

_Fuck._ I shake my head at this school. Some many people with nothing going on.

"Do I know him?" She continues to ask me questions without me answering.

I close my locker and Edward is beside us. Jessica turns to him, "Have you met Jazzy's boyfriend?"

His eyes lock with mine and my heart accelerates uncomfortably. He clears his throat, "Yeah, I have."

She gapes at me in astonishment. "Is he cute?"

Edward cracks a smile and nods while shrugging, "I mean, yeah, I'd say he's ridiculously good-looking."

I can't stop the smile and roll my eyes, laughing. Jessica looks slightly confused, but grins at me.

"So you're bringing him to the dance then?"

I sigh, "I said, we'll see Jessica."

* * *

Edward breathes into my mouth, panting, "Are you bringing your boyfriend to prom?"

I laugh and pant back, "I don't know yet, he's a little shy."

His hand tangles into my hair, pulling lightly, giving him access to my neck. His tongue along my skin sends a shiver through my body and my hips rock into his.

"He's one lucky guy," he murmurs into my skin, biting at my shoulder. I moan out his name softly. His hands run up under my t-shirt, rubbing my sides. His thumbs brush close to my nipples and my body tenses in anticipation, I push back against him wantonly. I can feel his erection digging into my leg as I pull at his belt loops.

We hear my dad's car pull into the driveway and he groans out in frustration.

I sigh, we haven't had more than seven minutes of alone time in days. "I hate this," he mutters before stepping away from me, breathing deeply.

My jaw tenses, "Me too." We hate it for different reasons. He hates my dad's rules, I hate that one conversation could change it, but he's not ready.

He looks at me tiredly, I look at him impassively.

_Here we go again._

I shake my head, "I don't think my boyfriend is ready to go to prom with me."

He gulps, looking over my face. "He's an idiot," he whispers.

It's so simple to me, yet so complicated for him.

He looks up at me with worried eyes, "Do you... still want to go..?"

My chest hurts gazing at him, but my anger makes me terse. I close my eyes briefly to avoid his question, "I have reading to do." We hear my dad come enter the house by the kitchen and I push away from the wall, ending our conversation.

* * *

T-shirt of the day: What I really need are minions.

I'm quiet when Edward picks me up in the morning. It's Friday, and tomorrow's prom. It's frustrating how this thing that I could care less about has now turned into a big deal. Since when did I allow some stupid dance become a defining moment between me and Edward? And why can't I just get over it?

I rub my hands over my face tiredly. Edward parks the car in the school lot, but doesn't move from his seat.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he speaks to the steering wheel.

I let my head fall back onto the headrest, "Please stop apologizing."

"Sorry, I mean- I know you're frustr-"

"It's fine Edward," I interrupt.

"No, it's not," he counters.

"Well, it will have to be. I...I'm pushing you too hard."

I look at him and offers me a small smile. "You're not."

I swallow, he's such a beautiful sad boy right now. I want to pull him into my arms and kiss him into oblivion.

He licks his lips, "Are you still going tomorrow?"

I smile and nod back at him, "Yeah...besides I think Alice would kill me if I didn't."

He laughs quietly and pulls his keys from the ignition. "I'll pick you up at six."

* * *

**Oh Edward...**

**Oh Jasper...**

**Prom is next and I think you'll love it.**

**Thank you for reading! Much, much love, AR**


	19. Chapter 19

**Happy week! Thank you for the reviews from last chapter! And the poem from Jeza!**

**We're back! Prom is here!**

**This is a long chapter (there will probably be some mistakes). With more to come! I have a surprise, there's some Edward POV in this chapter and the next. If you are interested in seeing the boys's suits for prom, I put a link on my profile. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Is that right? It looks right_... I push upward on my silver tie and secure it with a clip I borrowed from dad. I straighten my back, puffing out my chest and smoothing down my black dress shirt as I gaze at my reflection in the mirror.

Alice called the suit muted titanium, it looks silver or gray to me. Whatever, it's perfect. I don't even want to know how Alice knew my inseam. I shake my head, smiling and cock an eyebrow at my reflection. She said it's a slim fit, it will help 'highlight my shoulders, bring in tight at the waist, and showcase my... valuables.' I laugh to myself, I don't know about all that, but damn, it fits great.

Somehow it even helps my hair look intentional unruly. I brush a tendril back over my temple, careful of the light amount of styling gel I ran through it after my shower. I shrug on the suit jacket and secure the single button. I put my hands in the pockets and the jacket flares nicely, making my legs look long. Alice is a genius.

There's a light knock on my open door and my dad pauses to look over me. I turn to him expectantly and he smiles shaking his head lightly. "Wow, son. You look... so handsome."

I gulp and run a hand down my chest, looking myself over. "You think?"

His smile tightens as he nods walking toward me. "Yeah," he chokes out. "Let me see you here." He cinches up my tie and raises the clip up another inch. I let out a small laugh. I peek at him, his eyes misty as he gazes at me. His hands clasp my shoulders as he swallows uncomfortably, "Your mother..."

I nod, "I know, dad." She'd be proud. I look more like her everyday. She would love Edward. If she could only see me now... the man I've become.

He kisses my forehead, "Edward is downstairs." He steps back and smiles at me.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." I didn't realize he was here already. I lick my lips nervously and smooth down my wrinkle-free jacket one more time, following dad down the stairs.

I take the last steps slowly as Edward comes into view in the living room. His head turns toward me and we pause as we gaze at each other. I feel myself smile broadly at his intense stare. His mouth slightly gaping as his eyes move down my body and he swallows harshly, blinking back to my face. His eyes are dark and penetrating as a crooked grin lights up his face.

His suit seems to be a slim fit also, navy blue with a charcoal vest wrapping his tight torso. His crisp white dress shirt and matching blue tie highlight the odd and beautiful color of his copper hair. I blink rapidly, he looks strong and charming, my sweetheart. There's a small cardboard box in his hands as he stares at me intently.

My heart is fluttering as I take steps toward him. "Hey..."

He grins meeting me and bows his head shyly, "Hey..."

His body leans in slowly, his eyes fixated on my mouth. His soft lips leave a long, but gentle kiss on mine. I open my eyes dazed to see him smiling happily. I grab the back of his neck pulling him close again for another. My lungs fill with the scent of his soap and hint of cologne, earthy and fresh and highly addicting. His forehead rests against mine, warm and intimate.

A flash interrupts our moment and we look up to see my dad smile apologetically with his camera.

I turn back to Edward and sigh softly. "What's in the box?"

He peels back the lid, "Um... boutonnieres. One for each of us."

Inside the white paper, lies two individual flowers. They're a glowing deep blue-purple, they look like stars made of pedals and wrapped in green tape with a pin in the stem. He picks one up and sends me a cute smile. He pulls the pin out and securing the flower on my lapel. He whispers, "I think it's called delphinium."

I look down at it. "It's beautiful," I reply low. My father continues to take photos quietly as I grab the other flower from the box. I pin it to his own lapel and he blushes at me. I've never cared about flowers, but this feels like something, a gift.

"Alright, get together boys." My dad motions with his hands for us to get close together. I lean my head in toward Edward's, our arms wrapped around each other's backs and we smile at the camera. "You guys look great," my dad says proudly as he lowers the camera.

Edward's arm squeezes me tighter to his side as his lips leave a kiss behind my ear. It sends shivers down my spine. "Ready, handsome?" He whispers. I nod and squeeze him back.

* * *

He intertwines his fingers with mine, holding our hands in his lap as he drives. He keeps glancing at me smiling and shaking his head lightly.

"What?" I laugh.

He looks out his window, "I just can't believe... how hot you look in that suit."

I smile bashfully, "Thanks... I can't really take credit for it. Alice picked it out."

He laughs, "Yeah, mine too."

I scoff, "Really?"

He nods, "Yeah. She's got incredible taste." His eyes peer over at me flirtatiously. He uses our clasped hands to rub lightly over his growing erection and I groan. My own hips flex as I feel his hardness against the back of my hand. Warmth pools in my groin and I clench my jaw, my eyes squeezing shut.

"God, I just want to pull over somewhere and fuck you."

I look at him with a raised brow to insinuate... _do it_.

He shakes his head, "Don't tempt me baby." His eyes focus on the road, "I gotta stop by my house, cool?" I nod disappointed and he laughs softly.

* * *

We can't stop grinning at each other as we make the walk up to his house. I follow behind at a reasonable distance with my hands in my pockets. It feels like a good night already.

"I am getting you out of that suit sometime tonight," he promises with a whisper at the front step. I feel my ears redden as we enter the house. His mother comes into the entryway as I close the door behind us.

She gasps lightly and clasps her hands while pouting, "You boys look wonderful."

Edward leans back to look me over and I smile politely at his mom. She steps forward and holds out her hand, "I'm Edward's mother, you must be Jasper, his boyfriend." _We've met before, what is going... wait, did she say boyfriend? _

I take her out reached hand and shake it slowly as I gape at her knowing smirk and twinkling eyes. I look to Edward as he rubs the back of his neck. "I...told them," he mutters both nervously and proudly.

I blink at him, my heart pounding as Edward's mom embraces me. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jasper," she whispers in my ear genuinely. I feel my throat clench and close my eyes, returning her hug.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" She cups my cheeks.

I nod, looking down and back up to her face, "Yeah, just... a little surprised." She smiles and nods, squeezing my arms, "I can imagine. Edward was telling me." The amount of empathy she is sending me makes me believe she must know alot of what Edward and I have been through lately. She turns toward her son, "I'm going to get your father and the camera. You're not leaving until I get photos!"

Edward nods and when his mother retreats he walks up to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. "You okay?" I nod and I hug him, my arm thrown over his shoulder, my cheek pressed tight to his. His hand reaches up and grasps my neck, holding me.

I swallow past my residing shock. I whisper in his ear, "Thank you."

His nose buries into my neck, nodding.

"Be careful of your flowers!" His mother startles us and we pull out of the embrace slightly embarrassed. I don't want to shock his parents too much with open displays of affection. _He just told them yesterday? Today?_ She pulls us into the living room and situates in front of the fireplace mantle.

Edward's dad appears behind his wife and smiles at us. "Lookin' good guys," he offers from across the room. Edward pulls me closer, eliminating the gap I was purposefully creating.

Mrs. Masen lifts the camera, grinning at the view finder, "Big smiles!" I laugh softly at his parents and he laughs at my amusement. He squeezes me again and kisses my temple. His mother continues to take photos as I shyly duck my head.

They send us off with a wave and I sigh, attempting to relieve some of the emotion threatening to overwhelm me. He lifts his chin toward me in greeting and I salute back to him as we get into the car.

* * *

"I just don't know how I'm going to keep my hands off you the whole night," he confesses, his hand tightens its grasp in mine while he drives us to the ballroom.

I smile, "I know." The air between us feels electric. He's taken a big step, and he seems happy, at peace. His face is relaxed behind his aviators, the tension of the last few weeks gone. The exhilaration I feel is so deep I contemplate us skipping prom all together to find somewhere to make love all evening long. I stare at his handsome profile and he kisses the back of my hand, "We have to go, right?"

I laugh and retort, "You have to deal with Alice if we don't."

Edward dramatically shivers, "No, thank you. I thought her head would implode when I suggested I wear the black suit I got for my grandma's funeral to prom tonight."

I laugh heartily as he pulls into the parking lot. He turns off the car and let's go of my hand. He looks at me with a small pout, "I'm gonna be thinking of you the whole time."

"Me too," I repond.

* * *

Alice squeals upon our arrival. She circles us, give me the 'I told you so' look and shakes her head. "Very well done, boys."

"What about you, my lady?" Edward holds out his hand to her. She takes it blushing and spins for us. Her purple dress swishes with the movement. It's glittery and poofy and feminine.

"You look stunning Ally," I wink at her.

"You're missing something," Edward counters. We look to him for clarification and he smiles at her as he presents her with a corsage I never knew he was carrying. The flowers match the boutonnieres on our jackets.

She gasps, allowing him to place on her wrist, "Delphinium, oh Edward, it's beautiful..." She kisses his cheek and I watch him admiringly. I love this man.

I clasp my hands behind my back and resist the urge to reach for him. "It means boldness," he tells her, but looks to me with brilliant green eyes. My throat constricts and I duck my head as I fight the need to kiss that smirk off his face. I sigh deeply, looking at the decorations to distract myself. The hall is lit with small twinkling white lights and rich-colored fabrics drape dramatically in entryways and along tables.

Everywhere in elegant script, the theme of the dance is apparant. You Belong With Me.

The incredibly romantic atmosphere is almost stifling. Edward belongs with me. I belong to Edward.

* * *

Through the evening we encounter our various classmates, all looking dramatically different in flowing gowns and sports jackets. Edward recieves open praise from his fellow teammates and ribbings on his lack of a date. I use Alice to avoid his encounter with Emmett and Rosalie. In her blood red gown, Rose looks especially viscious tonight.

Alice drags us to the photo booth, to sign the class picture, to get punch and finger foods. We hang out on the sidelines of the large dance floor. Even the slow songs for couples who embrace tightly can't dampen my mood tonight. Edward and I take turns dancing with Alice instead, laughing at each other.

I snort to myself as Edward elegantly dips Alice when someone takes my arm and stands beside me. It's Jessica, her eyes examining the scene I'm watching. "Hey Jazzy," she greets me. Her face is flush and her eyes seemed glazed.

"Hey Jess," I'm even happy to see her.

"Your ass is rockin' those pants," she exclaims to me exuberatantly, her body swaying slightly.

I laugh at her, "Uh, thanks." I quickly add, "You look nice."

She examines the dancing crowd, "Yeah, well... I'm drunk."

I shake my head, that doesn't make sense, but that's fine.

"Well, I'll see you later Jazz," she leaves abruptly to join some other friends, slowly making her way over to them. "Keep rockin' those pants!" She screams back at me over her shoulder. I grimace as some of my classmates look to me in confusion. _Thank you for that Jessica_.

"What was that all about?" Edward and Alice walk back to me, watching Jessica stumble to her destination.

"Uh, apparently, my ass...is..rockin..these pants. And Jessica is drunk."

They laugh and Edward wiggles his eyebrows at me subtly. "She can't be that drunk if she can recognize how incredible you look tonight."

I rub the back of my neck, smirking at his twinkling eyes.

"Alright," Alice interrupts the moment, "Enough with the shy looks and the, 'No, no, your butt looks better.' Let's talk about me."

* * *

At some point Alice steps away to check up on something and I finally get to talk to Edward privately. We're leaning on a back wall away from the dancing crowd where it's easier to talk.

"So...did you tell them last night?" I keep it cryptic from possible eavesdroppers.

He nods, "Yeah, and we talked about it more this morning."

"So it obviously...went well?"

He smiles at me, "They were surprised, but... supportive. They took it really well. Blew me away."

"So.." I chew on my lip nervously, "You didn't do it because you felt forced, did you?"

He faces me more evenly, "No, Jazz. It was time."

I nod and smile up at him, "Good."

He opens his mouth to say something when the music fades and a mic test silences the crowd.

Mrs. Cope smiles at the crowd under a spotlight. "It's time!" She waves an envelope. "Time to announce your senior prom King and Queen." The crowd on the dance floor cheers and Edward settles back against the wall beside me.

"Ladies first," she says cheekily into the mic. "You're Senior Prom queen is... Rosalie Hale!" The crowd erupts in applause.

We watch Rose smile and recieve hugs from many of her cheer team members as she holds her dress and makes it onto the stage. She beams as a sash and crown are lifted over her head. Emmett whistles wildly and the clapping quiets.

Mrs. Cope hands Rose a bouquet of flowers and moves back to the microphone. "Alright, gentlemen," reopens the envelope to continue, "You're Senior Prom King is... Edward Masen!"

**EPOV**

I freeze momentarily when my name is called over the speakers. I knew I was nominated, but didn't put an ounce of work into trying to win it. I hadn't even thought about it in weeks.

I look to my left as Jasper stares at me stunned. I shrug my shoulders at him as I begin to make my way toward the stage. The crowd finally locates me at the back of the room and the cheering jumps in volume. I smile as my classmates clap my back and congratulate me the entire trek to the front. I stand in the blinding light and smile out as a sash and crown are placed on me. I can barely see Jasper at the back wall, he's leaning with one leg bent and his hands behind his back. I blink trying to make him out, he's smiling lightly in amusement.

I want to laugh with him at this odd spectacle. But I'm the one up here, part of this.. odd spectacle.

Mrs. Cope nods to the Dj and leans into the microphone, "Now, for your prom king and prom queen's first dance."

I feel my smile falter. Shit... I forgot all about that. My mind is full of Jasper, please, please understand. I don't want to hurt him again. Ever again. The possibility of seeing him with sad eyes makes me feel sick.

I turn to Rose and she gives me a tense smile back. We make our way down the stage steps to the emptied dance floor as the slow song begins. I look for Jasper at the back of the room. He stands expressionless watching closely as Rose and I move into a dancing position. She hands her bouquet to her cheer teammate and turns back to me.

I swallow hard, my hand at her waist as I take her other hand in mine. We leave a good measure of distance between us. She smiles at me tightly and I respond similarily.

"This is... really weird," she blurts.

I laugh, nodding. "Yeah," thankful she's broken some of the tension.

Small dots of light drift around us as our classmates watch. She licks her lips nervously, "I've been meaning to tell you something." I raise an eyebrow in question. "I wanted to say thank you...for breaking up with me."

I laugh and grimace. "Okay..."

She shakes her head, "I may not have handled it well.. but you did the right thing." I feel relief loosening my muscles and smile at her lightly.

"I'm serious," she continues. "Emmett...is everything to me." She blinks up at me and I can see her heart in her eyes as she talks about him.

I nod, my throat tight. Jasper is everything to me too. I want to say it.

Her eyes gaze over my shoulder and flick back to mine, "What do you say... we dance with the ones we really want to be dancing with?" I know she's watching Jasper at the back wall. The thought of him sad and alone over there while I hold Rose dancing, fills me with anguish.

I blink at her, my chest swelling. I can do this, I let out a long breath. Her eyebrows raise, "Would that be ok? If... you're ready."

I look into her face, it gives me strength. "I'm ready." I turn away from her to find my boy.

**JPOV**

I watch Edward make his way to the stage, jocks clapping his back victoriously. He looked as stunned as I felt when he was called to accept his crown. His crooked grin casted over the crowd as he squinted from the bright lights.

Rose stands poised and gorgeous, reminiscent of a beauty pagent winner.

Alice bumps into me, staring at the scene. "What's going on?"

I stand straight and sigh, speaking to her as I watch the stage. "Rose and Edward are prom king and queen."

"Oh..." she replies quietly.

Mrs. Cope announces the dance for the prom couple and I want to laugh. Of course! Of course, they would have to dance together. Because things were going great, and now I have to be pushed back down again.

"Jasper..." Alice whispers. I watch Edward take Rose by the waist and her hand. He's probably done it all before. They've danced much close to each other than they are now. There lips move and smile. They know so much about each other, it would so easy.

"Jasper..." Alice repeats louder. Edward laughs at something Rose says and my jaw tightens. "What Alice?!" I ask shortly without looking away.

"Look at me," she demands. I see Rose's eyes flick to me and I know she's doing it all on purpose. She hates me, always has. She wants to hurt me. Alice pulls on my arm, finally gaining my attention, "You're freaking out."

I blink at her and sigh, "Yeah, yeah." I nod and unclench my fists.

"You know Edward doesn't love Rose," she reminds me and I let out a long breath.

I bite my lip, "I know." I do know. It's a dance, just one stupid fucking dance. Tonight has been monumental for us. I look back at the dance floor and they are staring intently at each other. "I'm gonna get some air."

"Jay..." Alice implores me with sad eyes.

I smile lightly, "Ally, I know, I just need a little air. Promise."

She nods understandingly and I make my way toward the hall's entryway. I run a hand through my hair, fuck the gel.

I'm almost to the exit, past the punch bowl table when I'm stopped by someone grabbing my arm. "Ally, I'm just-" It's Edward, wide-eyed and still clasping my bicep in his hand.

"Where are you going?" He asks worriedly, pulling my slightly back toward him.

I look up briefly to see the majority of the room is watching us. "I was just going to get a little air," I respond, trying to calm the panicked look on his face.

**EPOV**

I sigh, attempting to slow my beating heart, "You weren't leaving?"

Jasper give me a sympathetic smile, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think that."

I nod, laughing at my overreaction and pull him closer still. "Dance with me?" I plead.

He pauses, his deep blue eyes search my face for understanding. I send him a grin and watch the blush form on his cheeks. "Are you sure?" His eyes wander to the people behind me.

"Absolutely." I take his hand and lead him to the dance floor. He moves slowly and stiffly as curious eyes bore into us.

Rose winks at me from Emmett's tight embrace, swaying lightly.

Jasper is still dazed as I pull him tight against me, my face resting warm and close against his cheek. I see Alice beaming with tears in her eyes from the back as we circle slowly to the music.

"You okay, baby?" I whisper into his ear, his curls tickling my nose.

He nods and smiles shyly, facing me, "Yeah, temporarily stunned, I guess."

"I gotcha." My Jasper, so hauntingly beautiful. I look into his curious eyes, his soft lips parting as his sweet breath washes over my face. I cup his cheek and his eyes close as I lay a gentle kiss on his mouth. Like our first kiss, he is mesmerizing. My hair stands on end, my lungs fill, my body sparks. This is why I could not deny you any longer Jasper. I nuzzle him sweetly, happy, fulfilled.

His arms tighten around me and he sighs into the crook of my neck. He buries his face from our classmates as we finish our first dance.

* * *

**It's not over! There's still the L word. It needs to be said! And as much as I love the suits, they need to go too.**

**Much love, AR**


End file.
